sophistre

It always tickles me to see references to this app in the wild. I am actually a character in that series. (Season 1, anyway.) I am Runner Six. It uses my name and everything, heh. Crazy that I still haven't finished it, but I stress-fractured my tibia a while back and never went back to running. Nice work sticking with it! It's so rewarding to see actual progress. I'd love to do it again. I signed up for a 'train to climb' thing for the coming year, though. I can't imagine climbing Mt. Rainier at this point, but that's exactly what I signed a program commitment to do come the end of August. The training program begins in March. I am starting my 'train to begin the train to climb training program' training early, just in case. :p

Neurosis and GYBE are <3. I haven't been to a live show in a long time (since leaving Boston actually, as it happens), but I do remember being at the Middle East downstairs trying to watch a Mono/Pelican show, and no matter where I stood I seemed to be standing right next to some drunk, shouting freshman co-ed who didn't care about any of the delicate bits in the music. I'm not gonna pretend regular shows are a sure thing, but all-ages shows can bite me. There's definitely something to be said for the vinyl experience.

That is very high praise, indeed. Ha! The award is having tattoos I really like to look at. :) Thanks for saying so. I am grateful to resources like LST for helping me learn about good tattoos. He is doing the whole arm, yes! We're almost finished, too. Hopefully at some point I'll be able to get a picture of everything together.

Upper inside of the arm tonight. Feels like burning. With Greg Whitehead, as usual! A fun panther-leopard with a Tibetan shell. Starting to close in on it with this arm. Room for two modest/smallish pieces and then just filler after that. Crazy.

In the meantime, there is LST. :)

It's so easy looking at pictures of backpieces to get lost in the details of the image and kind of forget the canvas it's on and how much actual skin is involved (for me, anyway). The picture of you lying on your side getting worked on really kinda puts the whole endeavor into perspective. That's some serious endurance. It's an amazing piece!

There is this really fantastic book I read last year as part of my research for something else I'm writing that discusses the concept of identity as neuroscience understands it in great detail, at a layman's level. It's called The Self Illusion, by Bruce Hood, and it draws many of the same conclusions about the myth of identity as the article. While the conclusions he draws are still contested in some circles, I don't think there's more evidence against them than there is for them. The 'tl;dr' take-away is that identity is an extremely vulnerable construct assembled from countless exterior pressures and events, organized into a narrative that our brains tell us in order to help us make sense of new information. It does this with an aim toward efficiency and survival, rather than accuracy; it's remarkable how fallible human memory can be (and memory can be entirely overwritten or altered with astonishing ease). It's this way by design, though; these things make us adaptable to new circumstances, more resilient in overcoming traumas, etcetera. There is no little person inside of us with a set register of traits, operating switches and levers in us with pre-defined consistency. We are an accumulation of impulses defined by experience, and what we think we know or feel about those experiences is more malleable than we realize. One of the central points of the book insofar as the studies it uses is that it's extremely easy to challenge even the most dominant values and beliefs of someone's identity under the right conditions, social pressures being what they are. Given the right parameters, a person will do things they'd never believe themselves capable of otherwise -- for better or worse. It could be that the fast and furious pace of social pressures we're experiencing these days via social media are responsible for causing people to seek out ways to define themselves in a more lasting manner... ...but it could also be that the fast and furious pace of social pressures we're experiencing these days via social media are pressuring people to get tattoos who wouldn't otherwise get them. This, I think, is a point the article probably glosses over too handily. People polish up the details of their lives and shovel them onto facebook, instagram, pinterest, and other people sit around judging their own lives based on these idealized representations from others. Someone still trying to figure out who they are spends six hours a day on pinterest, imagining what their life could be like, and somehow a dandelion-turning-into-birds tattoo becomes part of the landscape of social pressures that they're using to define themselves. It could have less to do with a lack they're filling, in other words, than a lack created by this idealized lifestyle they're constantly consuming. This is a long and rambling post, I know. I do think it's relevant to tattoos, and other people's reactions to tattoos, though; I think there's something very interesting about imposing permanent images on one's self, and folding them into your self-image, regardless of whether they have deliberate meaning or not. Inevitably they'll commemorate something, even if that isn't why they were gotten; even if that something is just the moment in time at which they were tattooed, and even if that moment in time wasn't special for any reason other than that the tattoo was being done. And that act -- commemoration, deliberate or otherwise -- is definitely a thing. The word itself revolves around memory, after all, and memory is the essential thing from which we construct identity. The tattoo is permanent, the memory consequently more likely to stick around, and I suppose that could matter, even if we never intended it to. Speaking generally, people tend to view permanent things with some wariness. I think they do that for a lot of reasons, but one of those reasons may be that it affixes them to some identity or other. People are prone to being heavily influenced by the social opinions and trends of others, obviously, and I think people don't like the idea of being trapped by any given identity. It makes them nervous. It feels final, and that finality is not conducive to adapting to the social fabric that surrounds us. I can understand why someone might look at a tattoo and be bewildered by the choice to mark one's self in a way that makes being a social chameleon less easy to do. They probably find that viscerally strange, even setting aside the social implications from earlier decades. ...which makes it interesting, to me, that so many people embrace deliberately changing themselves in such a permanent way. I can't think of many other ways that a person can change themselves with such permanent intention. You can make lifestyle changes, sure, but they're usually internal...certainly not so publicly observable. Don't get me wrong, here...I'm not suggesting that tattoos necessarily change anything about the tattooed individual, or that the choice to be tattooed necessarily indicates anything deeper than the desire to just get a really awesome tattoo. I just think it probably can, given what we know about how human beings create their sense of self, and I find it really fascinating to think about what a unique relationship tattoos could have with the way our own subconscious forms our narrative of identity. I think there's probably something special about the mental attitude of anyone who can fearlessly embrace a permanent change to their self image as it's perceived by others. That all being wordily said, I think it's pretty dumb to try to psychoanalyze anyone based on the actual tattoos they have. These are interesting concepts in theory, but people are just so different...I don't know that I'd ever be comfortable making assumptions about this kind of thing with anyone, ever. Anywho. Long-winded insomnia blabbering over!

Thanks for your thoughts. I'm trying to give myself time to reconcile it all -- not that I have a choice, since it has to heal anyway, but I'm trying not to let myself make up my mind about it quickly. I've had some pretty good advice from some folks since expressing my unhappiness. I'm sure there are options for me. It certainly has been a new experience for me, if nothing else...something that I'm sure will inform all of my decisions in the future. And I'm totally going to get another awesome tattoo on the 23rd, so there's something to take my mind off of it, as you say. :)

This last tattoo has been godawful to heal. God help me if I forget not to bend over and reach down to pick stuff up; feels like every vein in my forearm is about to explode from the blood pressure in the vicinity of the tattoo. Training at the gym was godawful on Tuesday. Even just swinging my arms naturally while I walk makes it feel tight and throbby. This makes me super-excited to get into leg tattoos, obviously!* *no it doesn't

I thought, when I got my first tattoo, that there would be an adjustment period afterward, like the one that happens after you change your hairstyle, start wearing a different color of nail polish, get a new pair of shoes. Self ideation is a thing. We form very strong mental images of ourselves, and things that alter or challenge that image in even a small or desirable way can be jarring. 'I love that new cut on you,' we can hear five hundred times in the week after going to the hair stylist, and even though they gave us exactly what we wanted, we smile and say thank-you and maybe secretly hate it for the three weeks that it takes us to get used to it, after which we can love it again ourselves, and anything different would seem strange. But no: every tattoo I've had (and I don't have many, admittedly), I have loved. There have been times I've had to adjust to seeing them together, as a collection of images that are beginning to form a larger visual ambiance, some impression of togetherness greater than each individual image, but I've loved them all. I have been proud that they belong to me. They are impressive pieces of art. And now I have one that I don't love, for the first time, and I don't know how to deal with that. It isn't a bad tattoo. It's done well enough. It's a looser, simpler style than my regular guy's, but I can dig that. If I couldn't, I'd never have made the appointment. I just feel like it wasn't the tattoo I thought I would be getting. The guy's portfolio is full of charming pieces. Simple, like I said, but sometimes it seems as though the simplest pieces express the greatest amount of character -- that certain something I don't have a name for. You look at them and smile, because they've got personality. I don't feel that about this piece at all. I have been asking myself why it is that I'm disappointed. Is it that it's wildly different from everything else that I have? Is it that it's alone on my other arm, its difference from my other tattoos underlined by how alone it is and all of the untattooed skin around it? Does it have the charm that compelled me to make the appointment, and I just can't see it through the weirdness of something so different from what I've gotten used to receiving? Was the portfolio misleading, or did he phone it in? Is it my fault? After all, I green-lit everything, every step of the way. But traditional concepts are so simple, the stencils so far removed from the final product, just a ghost of what the piece can become on the skin -- how can anyone ever look at one and predict how it'll turn out, aside from looking at a portfolio? Until it's colored, and too late, how can you know? Is the problem the tattoo, or my perspective? Why can I not figure out the answer to this question? And even if I can't tell, does the answer matter when the consequence is the same -- that I look at it and experience weirdly mixed feelings, instead of the rapt affection I feel when I look at my other work? Tattoos are not haircuts or nail polish. They aren't new shoes. You can't try them on and find they don't work for you, and shed them easily afterward. Do I try to learn to love it, or do I make peace with not loving it, and surround it with things that I love? Covering it seems excessive to even think about. It's not at all badly executed. The guy who did it was nice, friendly. I enjoyed the evening. I like his other work. Most of these questions are rhetorical, I suppose. When the dust settles, I'll figure out how I feel and do something about the tattoo, or I won't, and that'll be that. I pick away at my feelings about it because they're new and alien to me, and even -- in spite of the anxiety attendant to them -- interesting to experience in an objective way, not something I've ever felt about something I've done to my body. It has been a strange two days.

Yesterday I went to Liberty Tattoo for a short little appointment with Mark Cross, who had a guest spot. Got a little scorpion on my unmarked arm. No pictures posted yet, but I mention it because as I was standing around afterward pre-wrapping, somebody came up to me and said 'hey, you're on Last Sparrow, right?' It was nice meeting you and the wife and friend, @Avery Taylor! Thanks for all of the kind words. I hope you guys enjoyed the party. Sorry to run out in a hurry -- sometimes living on an island and being ruled by ferry times is a drag.

I'm pretty excited to check out the stuff I don't recognize in this thread. I'm also pretty sure, based on what's in this thread already, that nobody on the forum is going to dig the stuff I contribute, lol. Oh well. The perils of having a really broad musical palate. The , earwormed the hell out of me this fall. On first listen I wouldn't have expected that at all. Downtempo trip-hoppy goodness. Two Weeks and Lights On were stuck in my head for weeks.TV On the Radio, Seeds. I think two of their earlier albums, Dear Science and Nine Types of Light, are two of my favorite albums these days, full stop. I feel like everything these guys do is made of gold. Pelican released Arktika this year (instrumental metal/postrock/etc. is the sorta niche end of the metal pool I usually hang out in). It's a Russian live show album. Has some older stuff on it, but I like it. Because Mogwai.The Black Keys, Turn Blue. Because The Black Keys. This probably shouldn't count because it's a compilation and not a new album, but, , the soundtrack for Guardians of the Galaxy, is fucking great. Judge me! I don't care! I chair-dance to this while I'm working!There's a bunch of other stuff I wouldn't mind mentioning, but I dunno if I'd call it 'favorite.' Aphex Twin released an album this year after 13 years, Syro. Jurassic 5 got back together again. Sia's 1000 Forms of Fear, maybe? The Jezabels' album The Brink? (I discovered them when was going around. You should check it out if you haven't. That kid is an animal.) Or Broods, Evergreen? Heck, MC Frontalot (of internet fame, for fans of...um, Zork) put out an album this year too, for especially nerdy nerds like me. It is called Question Bedtime.

The itching is never fun, but I'm weirdly more annoyed by the hazy/cloudy/milky look this time around. It's really intense on the inside of my arm. I don't usually have a second peel to speak of, but I'm pretty sure this time I will. It is interfering wtih my ability to admire my tattoo. Go away, skin haze, you're lame.

My mother has been extremely supportive of the tattoos my brother and I have, but they do still make her uncomfortable on some level, and this is definitely why. She's less concerned about what other people will think of her than she is about what they'll think of my brother and I -- she worries that they'll make snap judgements about our character, and sees this as the potential for doors in our lives to close unfairly to us. I sent her a long letter before finally getting started on getting tattoos, explaining my interest. She'd made the usual 'what will you do when you're old and they look terrible?' remark, and as part of the letter I explained that I'd rather be interesting when I'm 70 than a bangable 70-year-old -- seriously, who cares about that at 70? I'm 33 and I barely care now -- and added sort of on a whim that, given I hope to donate my body to science when I pass away, I hope the person who receives it spends a few moments puzzling and wondering over all of the art on me. Bizarrely, this latter image is the one that seems to have made everything fine for her. She finds it hilarious. Everybody's mom is different. Communication is worth a try at least once, though, and if you can get to the bottom of it, all the better. It'll be a shame if not, but you have nothing to feel guilty about either way. A mother's job is to prepare her children for the world and the decisions in it, so that we're ready to make those decisions for ourselves when the time comes...even in the presence of opposition to what we find important. Sometimes it just gives rise to uncomfortable differences of opinions in the end. ;)

Dunno if I'm just lucky and heal well or if it's to do with the routine, but every time I go back to the shop I get shown around. Apparently my tattoos heal spectacularly. (It's not my immune system; I can promise you that much!) Bandages on overnight. Everything's still sticky and slick in the morning. Hot water, scentless white dove soap, air dry. Teeny bit of unscented Aveeno lotion whenever necessary -- I'm not sure who it was on this forum who mentioned it, but the stuff with the green cap? That stuff is great. I love it. And that's it! Ice through a plush towel if I'm swollen and hurty, I guess. I took arnica tablets for a few days before/after my first two and they seemed to swell much less, but honestly I have no idea if that was the reason why, or if it was just a consequence of where the tattoos were done. More importantly: the hotel I've stayed at a few times in Portland serves a rich Portuguese soup called caldo verde...that stuff is magical. I imagine pho would achieve the same result. After hours of discomfort and being slightly chilly and tired with endorphin overload, rich, spicy, brothy soup is rapidly turning into my favorite form of triage.

Me too! It's a classic. Never gets old.

Congrats, Bunny! I imagine finally getting that tattoo after seven years of waiting is a very satisfying feeling. Greg and I didn't get to two tattoos last night, since we got an unavoidable late start. We did go with the creepy Lo Pan hand holding a dragon that we were joking about the last time I was there. It's pretty much all a result of talking about Big Trouble in Little China with he and his coworker when I was the last one in the shop on my last appointment.

I actually like the wipe down with water! Less into the dry paper towel wiping between lines/etc. For some reason that gets super abrasive to me. Oh well. Always worth it. Foam rollers can go to hell, though. Those things are my natural enemy.

'Bout to start driving to Portland on four hours of sleep. It's a four hour drive. Two tattoos when I get there at noon, both on the inside of my arm, until whatever time Greg punches out tonight. Gonna be a long day! If it is possible to simultaneously be looking forward to a thing and also be the opposite of what looking forward to a thing is, that is me, today. Ha. Gonna let him put a panther head on me, too. I think this marks the beginning of the end of the beginning.

That is intense. I'm getting sympathy itches just thinking about it.

@SeeSea Amazinggggg. That eel is still my favorite. That schedule sounds intense, but I bet it still feels weird when you hit the last one. Maybe the intensity will offset the slightly melancholy 'finished a gigantic tattoo' feeling with the more upbeat 'oh thank god I don't have to go in again in two weeks' feeling...?

I have a friend who told me just the other day that his mother, who has a ton of tattoos, believes the 'even numbers of tattoos are bad luck' superstition (or claims to, anyway). I don't understand this superstition, though. If you had an odd number of tattoos, getting an even number of them would be bad luck, so why would you do it? (I know, I know. The answer is 'to justify having an odd number again after that' -- but wouldn't it be easier to skip the myth and just get the tattoos?)

Wooo, more Greg work!

Augh, so beautiful.