cosmic indifference

your parents may have created your body, but you are the one maintaining it!
all jokes aside, it does seem like a lot of parents hate tattoos. my step mother in particular is especially against them, and my sister and I both have them. her horror is superficially related to our being Jewish, but the truth is that I think she worries that we will be somehow outcast/unemployable if we have visible tattoos. That's mom being mom.
As hard as it is, at the end of the day it's about boundaries: the reality is, your tattoo doesn't "make" anyone feel any which way. that person reacts to it. and on the flip side, their reaction doesn't "make" you feel any which way, you react to it. Easier said than done, but I felt like once I acknowledged that my well-being is not connected to another person's (even someone who I love) visible discomfort, I had a much easier time letting their feelings pass through and around me.
It's an ongoing challenge for sure.

Oh, for sure. There a big space between the intellectual and the emotional. It's especially difficult with parents I think, definitely not an on off switch.
For me, I also felt like trying to cut past the negative reaction and seeing what the trigger was for my mom allowed me to feel less angry and annoyed and more compassionate towards her feelings, even if they seemed really overwrought and somewhat irrational at first. I wish you and your folks peace in any case!
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Oh, for sure. There a big space between the intellectual and the emotional. It's especially difficult with parents I think, definitely not an on off switch.
For me, I also felt like trying to cut past the negative reaction and seeing what the trigger was for my mom allowed me to feel less angry and annoyed and more compassionate towards her feelings, even if they seemed really overwrought and somewhat irrational at first. I wish you and your folks peace in any case!

your parents may have created your body, but you are the one maintaining it!
all jokes aside, it does seem like a lot of parents hate tattoos. my step mother in particular is especially against them, and my sister and I both have them. her horror is superficially related to our being Jewish, but the truth is that I think she worries that we will be somehow outcast/unemployable if we have visible tattoos. That's mom being mom.
As hard as it is, at the end of the day it's about boundaries: the reality is, your tattoo doesn't "make" anyone feel any which way. that person reacts to it. and on the flip side, their reaction doesn't "make" you feel any which way, you react to it. Easier said than done, but I felt like once I acknowledged that my well-being is not connected to another person's (even someone who I love) visible discomfort, I had a much easier time letting their feelings pass through and around me.
It's an ongoing challenge for sure.

hey everyone, I'm Jules. I was born and raised in Los Angeles and currently live in North East LA. I'm 32 and never thought I'd get tattooed until I was 26 or so... and then waited until I was 30 to actually do it. I have 3 now and am starting to think about my first "big" tattoo.
I'm really blown away by the community here and the wealth of knowledge, wisdom and all around love being shown. I'm really psyched to be a part of it.