soraya

A lot of people probably have stories like this about their first tattoo, and so yes, in some ways it is probably not horrible. BUT...It's one thing if you are underage and you are able to pass yourself off as being 18, or the tattoo artist just doesn't care about age. The only only participants in the deception are the customer and the artist. What bothers me is the complicity of the teacher. Their involvement was way over the line. It doesn't matter if the tattoo is good or bad. It doesn't matter if a 17 year old getting a tattoo is a big deal or not. We expect teachers to take care of our kids and adhere to a higher standard of care that the kid might exercise on herself. The FaceBook permission scheme was incredibly naive, and then he didn't even follow through with that, instead taking the girl's word that her mom approved, which was shockingly poor judgement. Doesn't matter to me. The teacher should be following the rules/norms of the home country, and MORE IMPORTANTLY, the expectations of the minor child's parent. This person should be fired or severely reprimanded by the school.

Wow, What an interesting thread! I guess for me, I would say tattoos are luxury items because I really could live without them. Sometimes I think that I couldn’t live without them, and they do have psychological benefits to me, and have helped me with self confidence and self-perception, but really, if my kids were starving, I would not have got them. Also there seems to be a lot of “black and white” in the definitions of luxury. Economist and dictionary definitions seem to tie consumption of luxury items to wealth or high income. But “average folks” - even people in lower income brackets - may have some luxury items. Is a cell phone a luxury? Is a flat screen TV a luxury? Maybe, maybe not. My view is that as long as you are feeding and educating your kids and family, and contributing to society in some way, and balancing your spending, it doesn’t matter. Say you have aways wanted an antique breakfront because you think they are beautiful. You say “someday I’m going to have one of those,” and you save for it, and watch for one of the right style and price and then one day one shows up in a antiques shop and you buy it. You love the way it looks in your dining room. Maybe it is the one piece of really nice furniture that you own, a focal piece. Is that a luxury? And while it is quite delightful to go into a house that is loaded with beautiful things everywhere you look, in some ways it is more meaningful and touching to go into the house where they have the one antique breakfront that they scrimped and saved to get. I’m sure some here on LST are have high wealth, and have tattoos. But I sense that a lot are not wealthy, so they scrimp and save, and cut expenses in other areas to get good tattoos that look exactly like the ones that the wealthy folks have. Are both luxury items? So maybe the key difference is “living a life of luxury” vs. having luxury items. Few of us live a life of luxury, but many of us can have some luxury items.

Wow, Excellent explanation, @amalia! Thanks! It makes perfect sense. And I guess that is why we go to therapists/psychologists: to dig into our psyche and help us find things that we are not aware of. Every hint helps in that regard.

I must confess that my tattoos do make me feel pretty bad ass sometimes!:)

This is true. @pidjones. One of the things that I like about this site is that generally people are so helpful and encouraging. Here I feel like I have some "tattoo buddies," people that "get it" - something I don't have in everyday life. I love talking about my tattoos and tattooing, and here I can do that. Feels nice! @iowagirl - I love that statement! And after I read it, I thought, "Hmmmm...Dr. Suess?" I googled it - yes! Thanks for putting that in my mind. But it is true. When I'm brave enough to be out there showing my ink, and have a good interaction with a person, I just feel so alive, as if there is more oxygen in the air than usual. I can't explain it. It's a super feeling - almost a high. The phrase I use is "I feel more like me!" My tattoo journey has been unusual, like peeling back layers of me. I got my first tattoo because my husband asked, even though I had no interest. I agreed because I thought that it would be fun to step out of the box, and also make him happy. But it was always intended to be "just one" and to be private. Then I realized I liked - no - loved having a tattoo, and got another, and then realized that I wanted more, and more. Eventually the "public me/private me" split reared it's head as I ventured onto my arms and upper back, and I realized that I was more uptight than I ever imagined because I was so afraid of showing my tattoos. This forum has helped me start to sort it out. I'm glad I'm different, and I'm glad that I did something to my body to permanently express that. I love, love, LOVE my tattoos. I'm not a person that thinks my tattoos make me "cooler than you," but for me personally, tattoos make me feel cool, they make me feel confident, special, pretty. I'm starting to feel like I'm ready be more public with my ink. Its going to be a little awkward sometimes, but now I have a mantra that I will repeat to myself when I feel uncomfortable: "you're you, it's truer than true, there's no one youer than you!"

I apologize if this thread is starting to turn into sort of a personal therapy session for me. I re-read my recent posts and realized that maybe I'm am falling into a "too much information" mode.

So... I was on vacation last week, and as usual on vacation, I was not very concerned about my tattoos showing, but this time tried to imagine that I was in my home town. I attended a lecture at the local historical society - partly as a tattoo visibility experiment, since this was the sort of place where if I was at home, I might feel very uncomfortable letting my tattoos show, since it would be a conventional crowd. I wore a sleeveless top so my half sleeves were fully on display. I didn’t take a sweater as a cover, so I had nothing to fall back on if I panicked. I was really nervous, and felt very conspicuous at first, and almost wanted to leave, but I stuck with my plan and calmed down. I got a few subtle looks from some older ladies before the lecture started, but they were not very obvious. During the Q & A I forced myself to be a little bold and raised my hand high to ask a question, and I was quite aware that my tattooed arm was up in the air for everybody to view. There was a reception afterward and I deliberately went up to a few older ladies to talk, and we chatted nicely and there were no comments or stares, although I did catch a few glances when I walked away. So that was a successful outing that I can build upon. For the rest of the week, I was just out and about in short sleeves every day all day. When on vacation I generally don’t worry about my tattoos showing, but this time I consciously committed to have my ink visible constantly. I got a few glances - some accompanied with frowns. I really tried to be aware of my feelings at those moments. When I saw the glances, I started to get uncomfortable and wanted to escape, but I reminded myself that I was ok, just different, and that those people’s glances don’t matter. Nobody made any negative comments, so I didn't have to deal with that. That will be more uncomfortable. I did have a very positive experience: I was shopping and saw a woman with a beautiful floral tattoo winding from her bicep to her forearm. So I went to the table where she was shopping, and like @iowagirl, I deliberately reached out to pick up something so my arm would be in her field of vision. She commented on the sweaters on the table and I responded, and then said that she liked my sleeves, and I complimented her on her flowers, and we talked for a few minutes about tattoos. I told her I was trying to get comfortable having them show, and she said “Just do it. Don’t worry about other people think.” She said she used to worry about reactions, but eventually stopped worrying about it. So we chatted for a few minutes about tattoos. That was so cool, and I loved the “matter of fact” tone of the conversation - we were just two tattooed girls talking about our tattoos. The few times when I've had those kinds of experiences, I feel like I'm floating. I feel like I’ve talked to a soul-mate, somebody who understands. It feel so good, and it makes me proud to be part of the tattooed crowd, and glad that I chose to be different. So all-in-all it went well. It felt good to be in the open with my ink, and I was able to The next test is to try it now that I’m home.

@SnowyPlover - That's a beautiful encounter! I could live on a comment like that for months! @iowagirl -Great attitude! And you have very cool tattoos! Love you sleeve especially. (by the way, I'm staring!)

Yes @LizBee! - I try to keep my staring...um...casual, hoping I'm not too obvious. :) I know people hate being stared at. And I know a some people here say they hate being asked about their tattoos, but I see something cool, and I really want to look carefully and talk to them about it, ask them who did it, and give them a compliment. On the street I usually don't say anything but at a convention I feel better about asking people about their tattoos. More of an accepting atmosphere there. - - - Updated - - - @iowagirl That's where I want to be - In a mindset that I can like the attention. I already know that when I'm in a situation where I'm not going to be recognized by anyone like when on vacation, I really like the attention that my tattoos bring. It really makes me feel special. - - - Updated - - - @Tornado6 @LizBee - I’ve seen tattooed ladies with one-shoulder tops, and I really like the look, especially if you have a large piece on a shoulder or upper arm - it really features it. It also looks very purposeful, makes a statement like "I want to feature this tattoo!" I’ve always liked some asymmetrical looks (for years I've worn four earrings in one ear and one in the other), but since my half-sleeves are equal, the one-shoulder look sort of relegates the other side to “second-class citizenship.” But I guess It could still work for me. It would show the whole picture on one side, and just give a hint on the other.

I forgot to mention that when I go to the annual tattoo convention in my area, I definitely dress to show off. I usually wear a racerback top so it will show my sleeves and shoulder ink. If I get my back piece, I'll probably opt for a backless dress, or maybe a modified tank that is backless. Not sure if I can find something like this or if I will have to make something. Any suggestions, ladies? Anybody else dress to the nines for conventions? Conventions are a place where I violate my "always cover" rule. I love feeling part of the tribe. I do worry that I might see someone I knew. Now of course this is patently absurd because if I am so concerned about untattooed people that I know seeing and judging me, why in hell would they be at a tattoo convention? Sheesh...I am so friggin' neurotic! But I did run into a tattooed woman there who works at the coffee shop that I frequent, which was funny because for a few seconds we looked at each other with strange looks trying to figure out why we recognized each other, and I had a moment of panic thinking that she might be a professional contact. Then it dawned on us both at almost the same moment how we knew each other. She said "Ooooh cool sleeves! I've never seen your tattoos before!" I said yeah, I usually cover up. The next time I was at the coffee shop, all neatly covered up and professionally dressed, she gave me a little smile and knowing wink, which was fun - I kind of like knowing that she knows my secret. - - - Updated - - - Well this thread is fun. In addition to discussing whether we dress to show off, it went places I didn't expect, making me confront my reluctance to show my tattoos. Some of you really made me really think hard about this - thanks! I'm going on vacation out-of-state next week, where I will pretty much constantly show my tattoos, as is usual when on vacation. But this time I'm going to try to try to imagine that I'm at home with my tattoos showing. When I come back, I think I'm going to test the waters and go out in my hometown with my tattoos showing. This will be a big step for me! I'll keep you posted!

@beez - Your experience at that airport sounds awful. I think that sort of experience is partly what I fear about showing my ink every day. That is what I mean about not wanting to be a spectacle. Like it or not, people are going to stare. And sometimes nice, honestly curious people stare. I mean, when I see a cool tattoo, I stare! (sorry folks!) And like your experience, when I have let my ink show, the negative comments/looks have also been from older folks. I'm no spring chicken, I take good care of myself and dress stylishly, so I probably look a bit younger. I do get it though - Older generations probably just can't get their head around why people would do something like that. The Whole Foods comment is funny! When I go there, I feel like I'm with "my people!" @sophistre: When I've been on vacation showing my tattoos, I've gotten a few comments from people who have never seen tattoos like mine (pretty dense half sleeve coverage). If they seem open, sincerely curious, and nonjudgmental, I love talking about my tattoos. Sometimes I think I've educated people a little bit, which feels nice. And I agree with the haircut analogy! Or a cool new outfit! you just want to be seen in it because it makes you feel good. And it feels nice when people compliment you, whether, "Oh, cute outfit!" or, "Your tattoos are really pretty." Funny though - people never would say that your dress looks disgusting, but they will say that about your tattoos. Oh well...

Maybe i'm over simplifying, but reading comments here and in other places, it seems that we fall into four categoreies: I got them because they are pretty or look good on me, and I want to show them off. I got them for me, and I don't care if other people see them or not. I got them for personal reasons, and I prefer to keep them to myself. I just don't want to deal with comments or explanations or judgements, so I cover them I Just think that is interesting, and shows that we are all different, and when we happen to show a tattoo, the non-tattooed observer shouldn't automatically assume that we are an open repository for their curiosity, opinions, or judgements. I think it also may show why, when a person asks about someone's tattoo, they can't assume that everyone will be equally open to their curiosity. - - - Updated - - - @iowagirl I recently bought a dress with a really dramatic scoop back that is just waiting for my back piece. I would never have bought or wore anything like that before my tattoos.

@Bobby Diebold My husband is of the same mind as you. I got my first tattoo because he asked me to consider getting one, even though at that time I had zero interest. Then I became a total convert. But He has always been respectful of my desire to cover. He does make a point of telling me that he enjoys seeing them when I display them when we are on vacation. I'm pretty sure that is his way of hinting that I should show 'em more often.:)

@LizBee I totally agree! I’m a little old fashioned in this regard, but I’ve always “dressed up” for work, even though my workplace allows very casual dress. For me, it just feels right, more appropriate. It helps me get my mind in the right place and reinforces that this is a “different place” with different rules and expectations, and that is fine with me. It doesn’t bother me at all that others are more casual, it’s just how I want to be. As you said, "Its just business." - - - Updated - - - @Synesthesia: Before tattoos, I never wore tanks, or anything sleeveless, because I just felt too exposed, (weird, I know...). Now my vacation "tattoo wear" includes lots of that stuff. And strangely, I don't feel "too exposed!" I want to (mentally) be at a point where I feel I have that choice - to cover or not. Right now, until I get past this mental block, I feel I have no choice. I just want to say here how good it feels for to hear someone say "I love having my tattoos visible." That's where I want to be! Regarding attention: When I'm on vacation in my show-off, "Mr. Hyde" mode, I'm aware of stares, and I have to admit that I usually like that, which is weird, considering my reluctance to show at home, and my fears of being judged negatively there. One time at dinner my husband mentioned that there was a lady staring at me, and I just said, "Good, I hope she enjoys the show." I almost couldn't believe that those words came out of my mouth! I'm with you on the confidence thing! Again when I'm away from home showing my ink, I feel much more confident and powerful. I can't explain it. But I think maybe it is because I'm stepping outside of the norm, and knowing that I was willing to do that, and am showing that to the world gives me more confidence and strength.

@TrixieFaux - Sigh...You are right, I am a bit afraid of being judged. :( I'm in my late 50's and I started getting tattooed when I was around 50, and I guess I'm from a generation that still remembers when tattoos were only on people on the fringe of society, and had very negative connotations. Even though I know intellectually that perceptions have changed, and I totally embrace and love my tattoos, and will be getting lots more, there is still this little thing inside of me that fears being viewed negatively. It must have been imprinted in my brain from an early age. I guess its hard to unlearn old lessons. I am in a medium sized town, and actually there are a fair amount of tattooed younger folks around, but it is very rare to see a "conventional" (and yeah, I'm pretty conventional) person my age with tattoos. The few times when I have gone out with my half-sleeves exposed, I've felt uncomfortable, like, "OMG what if I run into my boss?!!" Honestly it is a big mental conflict for me. There are days when I think "Screw em! I want my tattoos to show." But when it comes time to walk out the door I can't bring myself to do it. This probably falls into the category of TMI, but I'm sure there is a need from some sort of psychological intervention here! :) I think the fact that I am totally relaxed and even enthusiastic about showing when I'm on vacation is informative. It's funny - in that setting, showing my tattoos makes me feel really confident and even powerful, its almost like I'm a different person. I feel alive, more like "me." I need to capture that at home. I'm mentally working on it, and I do see the day that I will be able to feel more comfortable showing my tattoos in public. I just need to step off the cliff and do it. But like @LizBee, I don't think I will ever show them at work, because I just like to keep my work image conventional, without distractions. - - - Updated - - - I'm really working to realize the difference between being at work and being on my own time!

This is a question for the ladies. Do any of you ladies ever dress to deliberately show off you tattoos? I’m not talking about just dressing every day and not worrying about whether your tattoos show or not. I’m talking about really dressing like you are saying “I’m tattooed and I’m proud!” Background... I generally keep my tattoos covered. I have my reasons. I’m not ashamed, or regretful. I just don’t usually like being a spectacle. I obsessively cover up at work, and around town I always run into people who know me, and I don’t want to deal with reactions, judgements and comments. My tattoos are for me (and my husband). I chose the locations carefully so I could cover them easily, regardless of the season, and I’m fine with living covered. Howeverrrrrrr… There is a some Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in me. I must confess that there are times when I want to show them off. Shamelessly! I think my tattoos are beautiful and enhance my appearance. I’m super proud of them. And there is a little teeny-tiny part of me that enjoys shocking people under the right circumstances. Usually it is when we are on vacation far away from my town, where the chances of running into people I know are slim. I have a handful of outfits that I call my “tattoo clothes,” that expose my half sleeves and back, where I have a few pieces (soon hopefully a back piece). For some reason, in that setting I don’t mind being a spectacle, and actually kind of enjoy it. Its strange… I can’t really explain it. I'm just wondering if there are other ladies like me who sometimes like to let their tattoo flag fly?

So sorry @beez. This was incredibly insensitive and shallow, and it must have been heartbreaking coming from someone you “thought” you knew. He could have let you down easy without playing the tattoo card. He could have politely declined your offer for a date. Or, he could have respectfully said said, “I’d like to keep our relationship on the friendship level.” But instead he stuck in the knife, choosing a rationalization that basically slammed every door to the future. If he had thought about it for 15 seconds, he had to know he statement would hurt you deeply. Perhaps the sting of the tattoo thing that you are feeling could be because he didn’t just reject you, he also chose to attack something that is central to your being, part of your physical body and your persona, that you can’t - and wouldn’t - change. I tend to be super-analytical, so here goes… My theory is that although plainskin people know that tattoos are permanent, I don’t think they fully understand the psychological meaning of that. To many of us, our tattoos are not just pictures on the body; they are our body, no different than our hand, or ear, or breast. And in some ways tattooing may be even more meaningful than those “natural” body parts, because we chose to make them part of our body, forever. I think that untattooed people may have difficulty understanding what that means to us. Perhaps they think that since we chose to put them there, they are not really legitimately a part of us physically or psychologically, and thus fair game for for criticism. This is consistent with the classic insensitive comments many have heard, ad nauseam. Consider the statement that your “friend” made, but change one word (I hope I don't offend, but I’m trying to make a point). Most (but sadly not all) people would never say “I could never marry you because you breasts aging would be a problem for me.” But they will say (as your friend did), “ I could never marry you because your tattoos aging would be a problem for me.” But to we tattooed women, our tattoos are as much a part of us as our breasts.

Thanks for the responses my question on how artists might react to questions about sanitation practices. There were some helpful responses, and unfortunately several were unhelpful. Thanks to @cltattooing and @Hands On for helpful responses. I feel better now about asking questions now, but thanks to @cltattooing, I am going to reduce my list, and use my eyes to look around during my initial consultation. I’ll will be polite and will try not to sound like a know-it-all. By the way, my apologies on the Hep C vaccination question. I was wrong, no such thing exists, as some of you pointed out. I was working from memory, but I rechecked my source and found that I was wrong - they were referring to Hep A & B vaccinations. There was a “trust your artist, they know what they are doing, and you don’t” theme in some of the responses. While I understand that point, this is a health issue, with possible bad consequences and to me it is not enough to “just trust.” Tattooists are in a service industry, and we customers need to be comfortable. I know that the best artists are maniacs about sanitation, but the customer has to feel confident too. This is a process that borders on minor surgery, yet in many locales it is unregulated, and we all know there are bad eggs out there. So I think it is fair to ask questions - politely and respectfully (thanks @cltattooing). I work in a field (not medical) where every new client asks questions. Most are questions that I have answered a hundred times before. I keep reminding myself that they don’t know, it is all new to them, and need to feel comfortable with the situation.

This question is primarily for artists, but if you are not an artist, feel free to comment based on your experience with artists. For all of my tattoos so far, I have picked artists who were good, and reputable. I saw general statements on their websites that said things like "full autoclave sterilization," and "We follow the blah blah recommended sanitation procedures." But honestly I accepted that at face value and never have asked about sterile procedures. I am considering starting a back piece, and for some reason now I am feeling more concerned about sterile procedures. Maybe I'm just feeling lucky that there have been no issues in the past and I don't want to test my luck any further. I have developed a list of very detailed questions about sterile procedures, including questions about Hepatitis C vaccination status. On one hand I feel that I have a right to ask these questions, but on the other hand, it seems a little awkward, and asking questions about vaccinations may get too personal. My question is this: If you are an artist and some OCD person like me came in with a detailed list of questions and really grilled you on them, would you be open and understanding, or would you feel offended, or that that I am being too micro-managy and should accept the general statements. I feel like I have the right to ask, but I don't want the artist to think "This lady is a head case. Not sure I want to work with her."

I just want to say thanks to all who have posted so far. People here are so very friendly and helpful!;)

@graybones --Reading your post made me smile. This may sound kind of dopey, but I get a nice warm, happy feeling when I find out that someone I have had an ongoing interaction with (like you with your gyno, or like a colleague) has a tattoo. It's only happened with me a couple of times, but when it does, it's a great feeling. I found out our accountant who has done our taxes for years has a half sleeve, and when I first saw it peeking out (she clearly dressed to keep it covered) I got really excited! I didn't want to be that person and make a stupid comment, or violate her privacy. But I really wanted to connect. So I nervously said something like "So...I think we have something in common - tattoos." She was sort of shocked, but immediately dropped her professional guard and we had about a half-hour chat about tattoos and living with them in a professional world. It was sort of like a mutual "ah...someone who understands!" Funny thing is that I always thought she was a cool lady - very competent and professional, but with sort of a carefree streak that I admired.

@sourpussoctopus Tattoo buddy! I like that! :)

Thanks for the suggestions so far. Some great female artists have been suggested. A few do really traditional Japanese, which is really what I am looking for, and many do a modification of the style. Gives me lots to think about. Keep the suggestions coming! As I've started to think about the reality of getting a back piece I realized that I really am going to need several sessions. When I said I was willing to travel anywhere in the U.S. I didn't really thenk about the expense of traveling cross country for several sessions with a far-flung artist. I may have to limit my search to the mid west.

Hi ladies! I just posted this in the "Member Referrals" section, but then discovered this forum, and thought I might get more responses here - so I'm duplicate posting here: I'm planning a back piece. I want it in the japanese style - I just love that look. As a woman, I am more comfortable with female artists. Can't explain, its just the way I feel. Can anyone recommend a female artist who does really super quality japanese style work? I am in the midwest, but am willing to travel in the continental US or Ontario.

I'm planning a back piece. I want it in the japanese style - I just love that look. As a woman, I am more comfortable with female artists. Can't explain, its just the way I feel. Can anyone recommend a female artist who does really super quality japanese style work? I am in the midwest, but am willing to travel in the continental US or Ontario.