beez

@beez - Everyone else has said what needs to be said, but I just wanted to chime in with some love and support - that is a stupid, shallow, hurtful thing to say to someone you care about. It is always a very painful experience to find out that someone we held in high esteem is not the person we thought they were, but man, that was some garbage. And I am sorry someone you love was so cruel to you. Xo.

@beez
Ironically, for a guy who was the one who brought up marriage, his concerns highlight that he's thinking in pretty superficial terms, right?
At least you know the score now...

I'll answer your questions, I think they're important questions and not outside the realm of reasonable inquiry. While I do think that a veil of secrecy is important to the artistic and technical aspects of tattooing, this is stuff that the customer should know about especially if you are concerned about your health and safety. In my opinion, the quality and transparency of your sanitation practices should be comparable to that of a physician. The information I am about to give anyone reading this right now IS NOT LICENSE TO GO INTO YOUR TATTOO SHOP AND SARCASTICALLY GRILL THE TATTOOERS ABOUT SANITATION PRACTICES IN A KNOW IT ALL MANNER. BE POLITE AND RESPECTFUL OR SHUT THE FUCK UP. Also don't take my word or anything you read on the internet in blind faith.
This is how I keep my customers safe:
Saran wrap, drape sheets, and dental bibs covering every surface of my workplace including station, armrests, and massage tables.
Anything that I touch during the tattoo will have saran wrap, barrier film, or tape covering the surface.
I use stainless steel tubes which are scrubbed with a detergent and then autoclaved for 60 minutes inside of sterile pouches which have steam indicators on them to let you know that they have reached the appropriate sterility temperature.
I use single-use stainless steel needles which have been ethelyne oxide gas sterilized by my supply company, also with an indicator strip.
Every part of my setup is single-use and disposable except the tubes which are autoclaved, the soap bottle which is autoclaved, and my machines which are wiped down with a hospital-grade antimicrobial chemical.
We perform weekly spore tests on the autoclave to ensure that it is sufficiently killing all of the nasties.
Once my supplies are disposed of, I also spray and wipe down my entire workspace with hospital grade antimicrobial chemicals according to cross contamination practices I have learned and am tested on according to my Blood Borne Pathogens certification that I am required to update yearly.
I have been vaccinated for Hepatitis A and B, although no vaccine for C exists as of yet.
I am also licensed to tattoo by the Alameda County Department of Environmental Health and will gladly show you my paperwork for both my license and BBP certification.
I have been asked by customers in the past to explain and demonstrate all of this information and to me it is never a hassle because I am doing my part to keep myself and my clients safe, and I do not want to tattoo someone if they are uncomfortable getting tattooed by me.

my girlfriend and i flew out to LA on friday and got tattooed by bob roberts. i really only have these weird spots left and i told him he could do whatever he wants and he just grabbed my arm and pointed to my ditch and was like "right there". walked over to the wall and he goes "what about this one?"

Back.

I have no idea who Billi Vegas is, besides someone who made a statement I disagree with completely.
"Traditional" tattooing isn't nearly as "antiquated" as Japanese tattooing, yet both have stood the test of time. I have lots of both kinds of tattoos, including some huge and some tiny. Different strokes and all that.

hey folks - lets remember that this thread is about throwing down your latest and greatest
lets get back to that huh

Horitoshi family has you pull your knees up to your chest to really get that stretch and get in there when the time comes. Cannonball style!

What a kick in the guts @beez. Really sorry to hear you have had such a shock response from someone who is meant to be very special to you. It is a very odd thing to say though. Perhaps he is worried about being forever cast in the shadow of your spotlight when you are 80+ years old and everyone wants to talk to you about your amazing tattoos from "back in the day". :D

@beez, That sucks and I am sorry that you had to experience such pain. Pardon my intrusion but who ever he is/was he is a douche and does not deserve you.

Wow! Sorry to hear this happening to you @beez. I'm sure it stung even more so since you knew him for so long. To turn it positively, (and I understand it's easier for me to say "turn it positively") you now know just how much an insensitive ass he can be. It's better for you to know now than get back together with him and not know.

@beez I'm really sorry you had that experience. That must have been very painful and confusing. Sigh.

You are clearly a beautiful and intelligent person, and that sounds very hurtful. My partner was sitting across from me on my laptop as I was reading your post - knowing that he doesn't like tattoos, I asked him what he thought about your friend's statement. He looked baffled for a moment and then said, "What the fuck? Why would anyone say that?" So this person doesn't need to be into tattoos, but he does need to not be an asshole about it.
In a broader sense, I think we're deluding ourselves a bit if we think we have any idea of what our partners are going to look like as we get older. Not to be morbid, but accidents happen and limbs are lost, faces are scarred - people have stayed with their lovers through much worse than an aging tattoo. Yet, for instance, the Internet loses its shit if a woman ages the "wrong" way (trying too hard to look young, looking too old, etc etc etc).

I think what would bother me about it, @beez, is that behind it there's an element of 'how you look when you're older will matter more to me than who you are as a person.' It would bother me that someone would think ahead to the point when I might not be young and fit and attractive and just cross me off of the list because some part of me may not age gracefully, in their opinion. That some nebulous future involving my aging body might matter more to them than the years until then, or all of the years we'd already shared.
And that's crazy, isn't it? Nobody has any guarantee of aging gracefully (and obviously tattoos look pretty goddamn rad on older people, but I get that this is a subjective opinion). We're all going to get old and wrinkly and whatever else. It's just life.
When I decided to get tattoos, I told my mother that if I lived my life with the ultimate goal of being bangable at 60/70/80, then I'd have surely fucked up somewhere along the way. If I'm hot and older, so be it, but what I want to be at 60/70/80 is interesting.
I agree with everybody else -- I think he's saved you some time, and maybe even some worse heartbreak down the road. It doesn't make it any less bitter, I know. It's a very myopic position for him to take, imo, but at least he was honest about it. He'll have to own that in the years to come, for better or worse.

@beez you are beautiful and I agree with everything that has been said in response to your post.. Sounds like he has some growing up to do. Meanwhile, of course it hurts, but now he can get out of the way of you finding a more meaningful relationship...when you are ready.
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So sorry that you have been hurt, but... count blessings it has finally come out, and you can move on. My wife has no body mods and was a bit shocked last year when I started. She seems to mainly be concerned that I get good work safely, and am pleased with it. She has never indicated an objection. It hasn't changed who I am.

Im so sorry someone you cared for so deeply shamed you in such a way. Its an awful thing to do to anyone much less your BFF. Honestly, you are a much better person and deserve to have the love of someone who values you for you. Not the thin covering of aging skin we are all bound to.

I always have thought that if a person is going to love another romantically or friends,
love is based on accepting them for who they are,
inside & out.
beez,IMO he doesn't deserve to be in your life,if he would say something like that to you.

That's awful. My gf and I were in a situation like that. She wanted someone who didn't smoke, didn't have an attitude, no tattoos, super nerdy - and I was like that when we met! Now I'm an inked up, half pack a day flannel wearing gamer who's nerdiness doesn't go much further than what games out next and thankfully she still loves me. We grew together since high school, and neither of us are the same, but we love each other more than ever (she's even given me the ok on full sleeves when I'm ready). If this person can be your bff for four years and not accept you for you, then that says a lot about THEM - not you.

@beez - This is shitty on so many levels, I am so sorry.
My husband is currently plainskin, but by August he no longer will be but... I've been getting tattooed for a few years now, and when I started I was partly concerned that this would be an issue with my husband. Thankfully, he respected that this is my body and he loves me for me - no matter what my body looks like. He's also very pragmatic in that he knows we'll all look like we're 80 regardless of tattoos or not - something like this is not an issue.
For me, it would sting so much more because it is a choice to get tattooed. You love the you with tattoos, so he's rejecting your choices, your body, your life. It's much more hurtful than saying, "I just don't like you" because it is so specific. It's also saying, to me, that he wants someone who would be willing to change (or deny) their essence in order to be with him, that he wants his partner to be who he wants them to be (in order to love them) and not who they are (wrinkles, tattoos and all).
Big hug for you.

Sorry Beez, what he said must of been a harsh slap in the face - I think his words go even beyond body shaming, it's also getting older shaming - like you need to be perfectly preserved at 25, forever. Wow. I think this maybe be the type of person you don't want to spend your time/energy with as much. I'm so sorry. Even if he tries to backtrack - what has been said cannot be unsaid. I find it strange that he has never mentioned any of his feeling about tattoos throughout your relationship. This was a really shitty way to treat someone.
There are people out there who are of good heart and sound mind that won't let such things as tattoos and the inevitability of aging distract them from enjoying life and love.

A truly loving person would never say that or think that. Sorry.

Thanks guys. You are all right - and I knew that already, but the reinforcement is good. I appreciate the love, all! Thanks!

Horitoshi family has you pull your knees up to your chest to really get that stretch and get in there when the time comes. Cannonball style!

Horitoshi family has you pull your knees up to your chest to really get that stretch and get in there when the time comes. Cannonball style!