Devious6

Is it just the picture or do I see some redness that spreads out from the upper edges? Any pain or warmth in the area?

Welcome!

Bob, I think most people here will counsel against having your first tattoo be on your hands, neck or face. You've hit on the fact that they will always be exposed - not that it's bad but that it is a commitment that is best saved for after one is more comfortable and confident in one's new body image and how it is perceived by others. Of course, with just 3 posts it's hard for us to gage your situation but you should think long and hard about the hand option. Some people opt for very small tattoos, but you've already noted the issue of size. Small can get lost - and the mantra of Go Big or Go Home rings loudly here. Taking the time to consider your options, to consult with an artist, to reflect on the potential options of design and placement seems the smartest thing to do. Having second thoughts about a design isn't necessarily bad or unusual...especially one's first few. I can tell you that I had great second thoughts on mine. The first because ....it was the first and there were so many unknowns despite taking a lot of time to research. The second one was because that one has a very specific meaning to me as well and I stressed about whether it would truly represent my intent. I finally just stopped worrying and let my artist take over - I was confident he knew my intent and let him express it through his talent. Although it is not totally the same as yours, my second tattoo is reflective of my experiences in the Pentagon on 9/11/01. I was in the area hit by the plane and helped with the evacuation. There are several times that, looking back, I know I was close to not getting out and things I saw and heard are seared in my memory. In fact, there is a period of time that is blanked out in my mind - when I think of it I can only conjure up thoughts of green grass, blue skies and hear birds chirping..surely not what I was looking at as I peered out one of the windows onto where the plane had slammed into the building minutes earlier. As I went through the tattoo design I had a good idea of the big picture and worked back and forth with the artist. I'm sure I drove him crazy. The final design has an eagle standing amid rubble. It stands on one large piece that is in the shape of a pentagon - I actually was given a piece of the destroyed Pentagon façade that is shaped in a Pentagon and has my name, rank and the date on it. In the final design, I had the date, 9-11-01, in the center of the shape where the eagle stands. In the weeks leading up to getting the work done, I talked back and forth with my wife about it. She knew my intent and didn't attempt to sway my thoughts because she knew how much it meant - it was to be done the day before the 15th anniversary of the attack. But, I also knew that she was impacted that day. She knew, ultimately, that I was in the area where the plane had hit and didn't hear from me for hours afterwards. Later, she also realized that I beat Death several times that day so she, too, had an emotional tie to the day. I realized that she would be looking at that tattoo every day, like me, and that the prominent visualization of the date, 9-11-01, would be a stark reminder for her of what she calls the worst day of her life. At the last minute - I have a picture of me with the stencil on my arm with the date in the center of the piece of rubble just before my artist started the tattoo - I told the artist not to add the date. Instead, he shaded it. That was the very best decision I made - Lynn's feelings in this case transcended mine and I am glad that I let the art depict the emotions, not the date. I know what it means and the meaning is intensely personal. I don't have to explain it to others...or I can if I choose. So, I hope I haven't lost you so far...and I haven't offended you. I offer my story as an example of how your tattoo might affect a future relationship and how, sometimes, a less literal tribute can be even more powerful since, in the end, the meaning is yours. If you opt to avoid the signature idea, don't be so literal in your thoughts about symbology. Perhaps there was a place you liked to go together, an activity you enjoyed together, a book, a movie, a song,,,all of those things could be turned into a design that would be reflective of your time and your love. Time is the key. Don't rush it. Waiting 15 years to get my 9/11/01 tribute was the best thing I could have done and it took about a year in planning - I even got my first tattoo before that one. Anything this important deserves your best thoughts and the emotions, I am sure, are still very strong at this point. Find the artist you trust first. Talk with him/her and with others you respect about your ideas and your intent. I guarantee you will find the right design. No matter what you do, it is yours and should reflect your desires. Just don't move so quickly that the emotions of the moment cloud the possibility of a design that has a deeper, long-lasting impact. Mark

@oboogie They both look fantastic!! No pain ,no gain. You've definitely earned your bragging rights these past few weeks!

How's this one going compared to the first?

@Gingerninja Truly, truly awesome. Congratulations on another killer piece of work!!!

First off, I am very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling. Remembrance tattoos have deep personal meaning and a tremendous tradition...but remember that they are (unless you want to go the laser route) permanent. A signature will always be there to remind you of her, but it will also always be there in the future and, at your age the odds are great that you will eventually enter into another relationship. In terms of the concept of appearing feminine there are many examples where traditionally feminine images are unisex in application in tattooing. Roses and other flowers are a prime example that are seen in tattoos on many people. In the end, this design is yours - it holds deep meaning for you - and I would personally not even give this issue a second thought if, in the end, it was the design that achieved your desired goals. You don't have to defend yourself to anyone. I would suggest several things. First, seek out a good artist and have a face to face consult about your ideas. Seek out an artist with a great reputation for listening to the desired outcomes of the client - not someone who will just do what you ask. Talk with him/her about your intent and get guidance on placement, design, and style. Talk about options. For example, instead of a signature, is there some other symbol that had deep meaning to your wife (or perhaps you both), that can replace the signature? That approach might be a way to achieve your intent yet not present future issues in another relationship. The artist might also offer a design on the birds that appear more "masculine" if that's a concern for you. Next, I would suggest you let some time pass before you commit and have the work done. Of course, I am not sure how long it has been since your wife passed, but emotions can cloud our decisions and since this is generally a permanent thing, you might want to wait until the initial grief passes and then make your final commitment to go ahead or not. Getting your first tattoo is stressful enough. Doing under the pressure and grief of losing one's spouse is much more difficult. Don't let grief drive your decision. You have one chance to get this right so take the time it deserves. An impulse choice is generally not good under any circumstance. In the end, go with what achieves your intent and makes you happy. There is an argument that says that no matter what happens in the future, you will always have an attachment to your wife and no future person you enter into a relationship should expect that you would forget her so the signature shouldn't matter. Still, I would seriously consider finding some symbol to replace it...but that's just my opinion. I hope I've helped a bit. I am sure others will chime in as well. Again, I am so very sorry for your loss.

@oboogie Now, who could have predicted that??? lol

Welcome to the forum! I'm sure some of the more experienced folks here will jump in, but I had two greatly different heals with my two tattoos. The first was easy with just normal itching and no scabbing. The second seemed to take longer to heal, had scabbing and more color loss, especially in reds and blues. I used the same healing regimen and they were both on my upper arms - one all black/gray and the other a mix of colors. First, a full heal takes much more than 3 weeks but at that point you'll have a good idea of what it is going to look like. We all heal differently and there are many factors that affect our body's healing process. Finally, there are external factors like the clothing we wear, exposure to the sun, etc that can affect the healing. Did your clothing perhaps rub on the tattoo while you were working? Let it heal and then go back to your artist in a few weeks. He will be able to guide you on the need for any touch up. Both of mine needed some light touch up and my body definitely reacted differently to red and blue inks than others.

@Gingerninja Just freakin' awesome. I'm blown away.

Ahh, yes. The Summer Season in the UK = July 7th. lol

Proof that you made a great decision. It's been a year since I got my first and about 6 months since my second..and I still find myself looking at them every day. I can't wait for warmer weather so I can show them off again.

It looks wonderful so far!! Can't wait to see the finished result!

Welcome to the forum....and please go to a professional to get your work done!

Looking great so far!!

Hey!!! What about a little love for the Army here???!!! This is me in Bosnia in 1996 - deployed my battalion from Germany to there as part of the NATO implementation/stabilization force.

Well, I did think the rib piece was yours...but stand by my comment that your planned cover up sounds awesome!!! I was 61 when I got my first and my mom was in a nursing home. I wasn't sure how she would react - she smiled and said it looked great.

Welcome to the forum...and post some pics!!!

Beautiful piece - welcome to the forum!

Great story and insight into why you chose the design - and lovely work. Welcome to the forum!!

Welcome!!

Welcome to the form!! Awesome rib piece!! I look forward to seeing your cover up - it sounds like a great way to cover something you're not totally happy with.

I agree that it's probably better to call and discuss it at this point.

Persistence, persistence, persistence is about the only advice I can give. It would seem that the artist would be more open to scheduling you but it also depends on how popular/busy he is. That certainly would impact his overall availability. Can you post pictures of your piece and describe the touch up you are looking for?

How beautiful! I am always in awe of people who have such artistic talent. Anything I attempt looks worse than a 2d Grader's attempts to draw a pumpkin.