That is rough. Don’t let whoever did that near you again. You don’t need fancy or special creams, just use plain cocoa butter. Not too much, just enough to keep it from drying out. Too little is better than too much.
I’d skip the “deep, meaningful that represents blah, blah, blah” part. Just pick a cool image that you both like. Dragon, tiger, panther, ying/yang, skull, etc.
Don’t mess with a good tattoo. Whoever told you that you could “remove” parts of a tattoo was being extremely optimistic. You have a better chance of ruining it than improving it.
Leave dates of birth and script to the tourists.
Holy shit, that’s rough.
As bad as it is though, all of my friends who were blindsided (myself included), were much happier after the dust settled and we had the distance to reflect back on what we’d been through.
Who told you that they use thicker needles for old school tattoos? I have all Japanese style tattoos and my artist uses the old style machine. They ALL vibrate. Sounds like you've been listening to a bunch of bullshit.
Tattoos hurt. If you're afraid of pain, don't get one. Also, tattoos don't make you a tough guy. I know tough guys with no tattoos and I know pussies with tattoos. You're either a tough guy or you're not.
It doesn't sound like you're cut out for tattoos, but if you really want one, find a GOOD shop and go talk to someone. Be honest about your concerns and see what they say.