I've had the bruises a couple times. They look darker than normal bruises. Assuming it wasn't done in some guys kitchen, I'm sure you'll be alright. It's easy to be really nervous about your first tattoo.
I've heard a little bit about blue lotus and it seems like there's a lot if mixed reviews. A good one in Madison is iron quill. It's kinda new but I've heard pretty good things. Pete at rockstar has done my last 4 pieces and will be doing another one early march.
Hello fellow wisconsinite! There's an artist in milwaukee named mario z tattooing at moving shadow ink who's a master at black and gray. I've been getting my work done recently at rockstar tattoo and all their artists are very good too.
I think you're the only person that would know the perfect tattoo idea.
But maybe there's something you used to get past some of the tough times to use as inspiration for a tattoo idea.