I totally understand where you are coming from. I've always been the man with the plan. I had a good job right out of high school, things were moving pretty good. I was making good money, bought a car, house, and was doing very well all by the age of 22. The only problem was that I hated my job. I worked at a hospital and I had an evil boss.(I know everybody thinks there boss is evil.) This lady really was. It finally got to the point that after I quit and the company investigated why I quit that they discovered that she was pure evil and fired her. Anyway, I started working in EMS. I love being an EMT. I love helping people and meeting people and everything about the job that I do. There is however a very dark side to my job. And now, I'm looking to get out. But I too don't exactly have a plan. As I am falling farther into debt because my job doesn't pay well, I begin wondering a lot about what I am going to do. I know how you are feeling. I know that things will work out for you and you will do great things. I have faith that I will work out my troubles as well. The best thing that I have done for motivation is when I'm sitting around doing nothing. I take a look around and say, "Fuck this, I didn't get this far to just let the world kick me in the butt." Then I get up and start studying, practicing, and just being productive.