I am truly stoked and anxious. This will be my personal memorial to 9/11 and my experiences in the Pentagon. I witnessed much that day - and carried the vivid nightmares for many months - much pain, fear, grief and heroism. Despite the fact that I tried to avoid it, I was humbled to receive the Army's highest award for non-combat heroism. It is the only of my many awards I received during my career that hangs in my den - and only because it was others who were there who petitioned the Army to present the award two years later when I retired. I accepted it on behalf of those who were killed, injured and the many heroes I saw that day.
Although I did not experience any real long-lasting emotional or physical impacts, each year I still find myself slipping back into the nightmares as the anniversary approaches. I can literally smell the burning jet fuel and human flesh mixed in the acrid smoke, hear the screams and feel the heat of the flames. There is even a block of time that remains hidden to me - a point where my only memory includes seeing blue skies, green grass and hearing birds chirping...literally as I know I was looking out a window overlooking the post-impact destruction. I hope to never regain the memory of what I actually saw.
So, on the 15th anniversary, this tattoo is my attempt/hope to finally close that chapter in my life. It is a way to recognize what happened, what I saw and did, and all those I knew who were killed, injured and impacted emotionally. I want it to express both what happened but also the awakening and hope of our Nation afterwards. It is a Nation that I hope we can find again - without having to witness the same degree of trauma, destruction and loss of life....unfortunately it seems a remote possibility now.
If you are interested, this book is a collection of interviews done by The Army's Center for Military History that captured the day's events in the Pentagon in the words of those who lived it. My recollections begin on Page 105. As you look at the cover picture of the book, my office and where I was when the plane hit was just above the "R" in LOFGREN and where you see the lower yellow flames.
You can download the book for free as a .pdf through this link. http://www.history.army.mil/html/books/070/70-119-1/CMH_Pub_70-119-1.pdf