Joke of the day(ish) Thead

[Charles.M]

To get the ball rolling and make an opportunity for a cheer up..if you are experiencing some miserable sh.t or otherwise... or have some material to help another member cheer up! 

The first joke is.. 

My favorite invention of the age of electricity is an escalator...

drum roll please......, 

because when it inevitably breaks, it is still stairs! 

[AverageJer]

Why is six afraid of seven? 

 

Because seven ate nine...

[bongsau]

"If Trump and Hillary were stranded on a cannibal infested desert island who would survive?"

AMERICA America will survive

[mtlsam]

What's the difference between a large pizza and an avid tattoo collector?

The pizza can feed a family!

[Charles.M]

She’s a classy girl! you see..., at least all her tattoos are spelt right.

[Charles.M]

Just saw a dolphin that had a tattoo of a jumping white girl on its rear fin, I would guess it was the dolphin's first tattoo...

[Charles.M]

[rufio]

2 birds sitting on a branch. Bird 1 goes: tjiep tjiep. Bird 2: expensive, expensive

[Charles.M]

So a guy walks into a tattoo shop and says "I want the tattoo diet",

the tattooer says "what is that",

the guy says "I want a full body photorealistic tattoo of me only 50 pounds lighter

and maybe this time it will last...."

[Charles.M]

[rufio]

[rufio]

 

[Dan]

[Dan]

[Dan]

[Hogrider]

 

I know I'm going to hell for posting this, but I can't stop laughing.