Showing Off

[iowagirl]

@soraya that is SO AWESOME and I'm so proud of you! You have tattoos and they're a part of YOU and a part of who you are, a part of what makes you, you. (you're you, it's truer than true, there's no one youer than you!) I'm so glad you're working on your comfort zone.

[soraya]

What is the forum for, if not mutual support in getting and owning good tattoos?

This is true. @pidjones. One of the things that I like about this site is that generally people are so helpful and encouraging. Here I feel like I have some "tattoo buddies," people that "get it" - something I don't have in everyday life. I love talking about my tattoos and tattooing, and here I can do that. Feels nice!

you're you, it's truer than true, there's no one youer than you!

@iowagirl - I love that statement! And after I read it, I thought, "Hmmmm...Dr. Suess?" I googled it - yes! Thanks for putting that in my mind. But it is true. When I'm brave enough to be out there showing my ink, and have a good interaction with a person, I just feel so alive, as if there is more oxygen in the air than usual. I can't explain it. It's a super feeling - almost a high. The phrase I use is "I feel more like me!"

My tattoo journey has been unusual, like peeling back layers of me. I got my first tattoo because my husband asked, even though I had no interest. I agreed because I thought that it would be fun to step out of the box, and also make him happy. But it was always intended to be "just one" and to be private. Then I realized I liked - no - loved having a tattoo, and got another, and then realized that I wanted more, and more. Eventually the "public me/private me" split reared it's head as I ventured onto my arms and upper back, and I realized that I was more uptight than I ever imagined because I was so afraid of showing my tattoos. This forum has helped me start to sort it out.

I'm glad I'm different, and I'm glad that I did something to my body to permanently express that. I love, love, LOVE my tattoos. I'm not a person that thinks my tattoos make me "cooler than you," but for me personally, tattoos make me feel cool, they make me feel confident, special, pretty.

I'm starting to feel like I'm ready be more public with my ink. Its going to be a little awkward sometimes, but now I have a mantra that I will repeat to myself when I feel uncomfortable: "you're you, it's truer than true, there's no one youer than you!"

[iowagirl]

Maybe not *cooler* buuuuut ya gotta admit, definitely more bad ass.

Dr. Seuss was a genius.

[soraya]

Maybe not *cooler* buuuuut ya gotta admit, definitely more bad ass.

Dr. Seuss was a genius.

I must confess that my tattoos do make me feel pretty bad ass sometimes!:)

[wildcat]

I love this thread so much that this is my first post (after my obligatory intro post of course).

Although I've had a few tattoos for many years, just this year I have gotten a floral chest piece (across my collar bone from shoulder to shoulder), an ambigram on my lower leg, a tiger on my thigh, another tiger on my upper arm, have a half-sleeve being designed for the other arm, and starting on a lower back to upper thigh monstrosity this weekend. So, in short, I have become obsessed.

And now as a direct result, I believe, at 44 years old I have become so much more comfortable in my skin that I bought four sundresses yesterday for the express purpose of being able to show off my art. I previously owned zero dresses or skirts (I even wear pants with my dress uniform instead of the skirt!). My husband, of course, loves this development, but it really about ME. I don't know exactly why, but showing ink instead of bare skin makes me MORE confident instead of less.

Wildcat

[LizBee]

So this morning I put on a plain short-sleeved white T-shirt, and my upper arm piece barely peeks out from the edge of the sleeve. My husband, who has no tattoos but supports my own interest in them (he seems to be completely ambivalent about them - take them or leave them, to each his or her own, etc.) said to me, "Now that's bad-ass."

I didn't know what he was talking about and asked what he meant, and he pointed to my arm, explaining that the tiny bit of tattoo showing at the bottom of my t-shirt sleeve made me look like a bad ass chick, and he seemed quite delighted! He typically doesn't remark on my tattoos much, whether they're showing or not showing, etc., so this was new for him.

So, sometimes, just like clothing can do for the female form, just the suggestion of what might be underneath is just as intriguing as showing off the full tattoo. Interesting!

[soraya]

...So, sometimes, just like clothing can do for the female form, just the suggestion of what might be underneath is just as intriguing as showing off the full tattoo. Interesting!

Yes, @LizBee very interesting! Ladies of burlesque from decades ago, in a time when showing "everything" wasn't allowed, would say that it was more titillating to show a small hint of what is there rather than showing everything. Leave something to the imagination.

My husband finds tattooed women quite attractive (fortunately!), and I recall once that we saw a woman with what appeared to be 3/4 sleeves peeking out of her shirtsleeves, and just a bit of tattooing peeking out of her collar in the back and front. He became quite intrigued imagining what was in between!

And now as a direct result, I believe, at 44 years old I have become so much more comfortable in my skin...

...I don't know exactly why, but showing ink instead of bare skin makes me MORE confident instead of less.

I sort of know the feeling, @wildcat. If you read this whole thread you see that there is an undercurrent of my anxiety about showing my tattoos because I'm uncomfortable about reactions and judgments, especially from people I know. But when I have taken a risk and let 'em show, I really do have a feeling of more confidence too.

[Namerased Tattoos]

Hi everyone

This is a good question, but I guess everyone gets tattoos for very different reasons. I guess they also choose the location of the tattoo on the same principal. :)

I usually think very carefully about the placement of my tattoos, I tend to put them in places which are both easy to show off and easy to cover. I don't do it that way because I'm weary about job interviews etc, I have gotten jobs with my tattoos on display in the interview. I do it so I can have the choice to show or not to show depending on my mood. I do like showing them off because I have some really great art work done by some really great artists. But it comes in very handy to have them hidden away for things like wedding photos and the likes. ;);)

[soraya]

I usually think very carefully about the placement of my tattoos ... I do it so I can have the choice to show or not to show depending on my mood. I do like showing them off because I have some really great art work done by some really great artists ...

@Namerased Tattoos, I agree. Having the choice of being able to show or not is important for me too. I would love to have full or 3/4 sleeves, or even be totally covered, but it will never happen because I do want the option of covering. I will never go past my elbows or past mid-thighs for that reason.

[The Tig]

I like having a choice on what shows and when. 7 or 8 months out of the year are shorts weather days here, so my legs are usually bare and that's where most of my tattoos are and will be in the future. I do a lot of bike riding so anything on a thigh would be invisible and subject to road rash.

My future pair of arm half sleeves go to the elbow and will likely be exposed at work, but fuck them if they don't like it.

[marley mission]

it gets interesting when you go forearm which i did this summer onto both forearms - i wear short sleeves at work (school counselor at a primary school) and as i predicted the kids love them and the adults have a multitude of comments and questions which have mostly died down

its funny as my overall coverage increases i get more comments and let me tell you it is quite a revealing experience in terms of the social skills defecits that many adults around me have

i myself feel that i have quite good tact when speaking with others - understanding what topics or commentary are in good form or poor taste, etc - but those around me - wow

"how much did that cost, how can you afford that?"

"why would you do that to yourself?"

"what do you think you'll look like when you're 80?"

and of course "what does it mean, it must mean something?"

but i have no regrets going below the elbow and i intend to add more :)

its funny though - i'm telling my wife how so many times in conversations that peoples eyes dart around to my tattooed areas and how that feels weird - she said - "now you know what it's like to have cleavage"

[sourpussoctopus]

@marley mission Those stares die down eventually. I'm in graduate school, so I work as a TA in Chemistry at the university level. For the first couple of week of class the kids (mostly freshmen and sophomores) will ask questions and their eyes will dart around to tattooed areas, as you said, but after that they get used to it. It just becomes a natural part of their day, "Oh, my teacher is tattooed".

As for selecting clothing to display tattoos - not really. I just wear what I wear, and if they're out, they're out. However, I love it when I see girls with backpieces and the top part pokes out of their tank tops. I think that's sexy as hell. Guys with backpieces look great, too, but ladies just look better. When my dream Anderson Luna backpiece happens, maybe I'll get to show it off a bit, too.

[soraya]

If you have read this thread, you know that I am very hesitant to display my ink in public for fear of reactions of others. This thread made me more willing to give it a try, so I thought I’d give you an update.

A couple of weeks ago I decided to test the waters at the local farm market. Normally in that situation I wear a long or 3/4 length sleeve and push it up just above my elbow. Since my half sleeve tattoos stop slightly above my elbows, nothing shows. But that day I picked out a longish short sleeve tee so about 1/3 of my tattoos showed. Not just peaking out, but about 3” of tattoo showing very clearly. As I was leaving the house I almost grabbed a sweater in case I chickened out, but then I thought “No, I'm going to do this without a safety net."

I got to the market and it was pretty crowded. I was a little nervous. I started shopping, talking to vendors, checking out produce and flowers, and started to fall into my usual routine.

Since I had tattoos on my mind, I noticed a few other ladies with tattoos, so I felt a little more at ease with my “sisters.” I got more comfortable and at one point I thought a lady next to me at stand was checking me out so I politely said “excuse me” and reached in front of her to pick up an item so my arm was right in front of her to see if she reacted. No reaction! Since she was a perfect stranger, I sort of secretly hoped she was shocked! That is a weird aspect of my reluctance to show pattern - I sort of like to shock strangers, but fear shocking people I know!

As I paid one of the vendors for a purchase — a woman I often buy from, and who has a tattoo herself — she said, “I never noticed your tattoos before. Very pretty!” I thanked her and said that I usually don’t let them show. She said “Oh, just let ‘em show!”. That was a good feeling.

All in all the whole situation went without incident. I really felt good, felt very free and alive, as if I was letting myself be me. A great first step for me.

The big test would be being somewhere where I see people I know. That could have happened at the farm market — I sometimes see friends and colleagues there. I saw a few “familiar” people who I know enough to say “Hi” to, but I don’t know their names, but no one whose judgement I fear. I’m still not sure how I’m going to feel when I see one of my co-workers or bosses.

[pidjones]

I hope this keeps going well for you, @soraya! Little steps, staying comfortable. Nothing wrong with that. Keep it up and some day you will wear a spaghetti strap top to church!

[Pete tattoo freak]

if you worry about what people think of your tattoo's. you probably made the wrong decision to get tattooed.

[DJDeepFried]

If you don't have anything nice to say…

[TrixieFaux]

I think, while there are of course many people who dislike tattoos, for the most part--people don't care what you do with your own skin. As you shouldn't and probably don't care what they do with theirs!

[soraya]

if you worry about what people think of your tattoo's. you probably made the wrong decision to get tattooed.

I thought a lot about if or how to respond to this comment. At first I drafted a nasty, sarcastic response, but I thought better of it and decided to be more charitable.

I can say with absolute certainty that I did not make the wrong decision to get tattooed.

I got tattooed because I wanted to, for my own reasons. I happen to absolutely love my tattoos. The only regret that I have is that I’m not totally covered.

When I first got tattooed, I had no idea what was ahead. I was going to get one tattoo, hidden, even when wearing a bathing suit, and that would be the end. It was to be a private thing. That was the way I wanted it, and I was happy with that. I never imagined that I would get more than one tattoo, much less several. And even as I got more tattoos, I intended to keep them private. The were to be for me and my husband. Even when I completed my half-sleeves, they were calculated to be coverable.

But I never imagined how much I would like being a tattooed person, I never anticipated how much I would come to love the way I looked with my tattoos. I never imagined how happy they would make me. And I never thought that I would love my tattoos so much that I would sometimes like to share them with the world.

This whole discussion would never have happened if I had decided to keep them private, so to suggest that I made the wrong decision simply because of my concern about what people would think is rather unfair and uninformed.

I’m not a person that is saying “Hey, I’m thinking about getting my first tattoo. I will cover my whole forearm and back of my hand. But I’m worried about the reaction of others.” in that case it might be appropriate to ask if the person if they are sure that they are making the right decision. But I am a person already happily tattooed and am now simply trying to become comfortable with letting them show in public.

I like LST because most people here are understanding and helpful. They are (usually) not judgmental of the tattoo decisions that others make. If a woman posts that she is getting a backpiece and want to wears something that will not be too revealing while the work is being done, you get dozens of helpful suggestions from women who have already dealt with the issue. No one says “If you are afraid of showing you body in the tattoo studio, then perhaps you shouldn’t get a tattoo.”

Quite honestly, the comment is exactly the kind that I might expect to hear from a rude person who is a tattoo hater.

[The Tig]

Brilliant post, soraya! I think many here can relate, including men. For me, this paragraph in particular:

But I never imagined how much I would like being a tattooed person, I never anticipated how much I would come to love the way I looked with my tattoos. I never imagined how happy they would make me. And I never thought that I would love my tattoos so much that I would sometimes like to share them with the world.

On a separate yet slightly related note, I just finished reading an article by a woman who was dealing with another woman (non-tattooed) who stated "tattoos are essentially down to vanity".

The writer said that the definition of "vanity" is in fact the opposite of how she and her friends feel about themselves. She went on to say that they were not entirely content about their appearance and lacked self confidence, which drove the desire for more ink.

"Rather than getting ink because I have a high opinion of my personal appearance, I get ink precisely because that high opinion is absent. ...I am still on a journey to become comfortable with my own body."

Skin Deep Nov. 2015 issue

I know this may not be how others feel, but I thought it was interesting and worthy of sharing with LST.

[Breakme]

I don't dress to show off my tattoos on purpose, it just happens that I usually wear sleeveless dresses and tanks in summer as I don't like the feeling of my arms being restricted by sleeves. I will wear a thin cardi with sleeves though if I know I'll be out in the sun for a period of time as I hate to feel my skin burn.

Initially it was a huge step to leave the house with visible tattoos as I'm not someone who likes a lot of attention, however over time it became easier when I realised it wasn't as big a deal as I was thinking it was. And compliments from strangers certainly didn't hurt either.

My experiences at the gym lately have been interesting now that its warm enough to wear tank tops. I've had a couple of guys approach me and ask if I watch (insert whatever tattoo show here) which I don't mind too much as long as they are respectful and not interrupting me mid-set. I don't watch any of them so my answer is usually "nah" and that's that. I've also been asked to spot guys (big muscly guys with no tattoos) when there are other guys in the gym, so not quite sure the reason on that one. Maybe tattoos make you look stronger, ha!

I had a really great experience about a month ago, I went to a 3 day Hot Rod and Classic Car festival called Chopped in which we camped onsite for 2 nights with around 10,000 other people. I have never been in one place with so many tattooed people and have never felt so at home in my life. There was every kind of tattoo you could imagine on display, no one cared, no one stared, it was the most free I have felt and it was awesome.

- - - Updated - - -

@The Tig that's a really good point. I know that part of my reason for wanting to be tattooed stemmed from a lack of feeling comfortable with my body. I started with my thighs and realised not only did my new tattoos look awesome, but they do other amazing things like cover cellulite. :D I then moved onto my right arm because it was covered from shoulder to hand with broken capillaries and I was very self conscious of them. They are still visable on my hand, but it's not such a big deal for me anymore.

[Jim Buchanan]

I'm new to this forum, and pretty new to having tattoos (just 1 so far until a month from now when I get a second, already planned it with my artist). I'm 53 years and a lot of people, especially my birth family, which very much do not do tattoos, were really, really surprised. Nothing negative though. (More than 1/2 of my 7 kids (all adopted as teenagers) had tattoos before mom & dad got ours in May, the kids really love that we did this!)

I got/will get mine because I love attention, as well as having wanted tattoos since I was a kid. I definitely want it/them to show when wearing short sleeves. I love it when people ask me what it means, or comment on it. I get at least one comment or question a week, 2 today while eating lunch at a restaurant I frequent. I have trouble not staring at other people's tattoos and asking them questions, and have always had this trouble, I've always been fascinated. I am always worried that I'm being rude, but I don't want to be, I try not to too much.

Anyway, I just wanted to add my rambling 2 cents...

[soraya]

@The Tig: Thanks! That paragraph that you liked just sort of flowed out of me in a stream of consciousness. After I posted it, I reread it and was kind of surprised. I realized that it really represented my true, from-the-heart feelings about being tattooed that I had never been able to put into words before. It felt kind of good!

Regarding vanity: I have on occasion pondered whether tattooing is an act of vanity. We know people get tattoos for many, many reasons, including some because they are discontented with their body, such as the writer that you quote. I agree that getting tattooed for that reason is the polar opposite of vanity.

But on the other end of the spectrum there are people (like me) that get tattooed in part because they like the way they look with tattoos. Your post made me wonder, “Am I vain?”

Definitions of vanity all seem to include the word excessive. “Excessive pride in, or admiration of one’s own appearance.” It is derived from the Latin vanus, which means “empty, without substance.” In Middle English, it meant “devoid of real worth.”

I suppose that some do get tattooed out of true vanity. But wanting to look good is not the same as vanity. Is it vain to wear makeup? Get a new hair style? Wear an expensive dress? Lose weight? Shave? I think not. Under most circumstances people who do these things do not take excessive pride in their appearance.

And where is the line between wanting to look nice, and vanity? When does caring about one’s appearance become excessive? I suppose you have to look at the individual person’s motivation, and perhaps consider their self image, self perception, or self confidence.

But I think if you get tattooed with the idea that it will suddenly make you “cool,” “hip,” or “hot,” then perhaps it is vanity. I guess the whole idea of wanting to be “cool” is a little vain in itself.

However I also think there is a difference between “feeling cool” and wanting to “be cool.” In my mind, “feeling cool” is internal, it is how you feel about yourself, I think it is a positive, and is not vain. However, wanting to “be cool,” is external, perhaps an effort to make other people see you in a certain way. In excess, it probably could be considered vanity.

For me, I felt good about my appearance and my body before I started getting tattooed. I was never a knockout, but I was always happy with the way I looked when I made even a little effort on a daily basis. I don’t think I fell into the category of vanity.

When I was pondering my first tattoo, I was concerned about how I would look with a tattoo on my body, and gave design and placement a lot of thought. When it was done, I really liked the way I looked with a tattoo there. It just seemed so natural, like it was supposed to be there. I don’t think it was any more vain than liking how I look with a new cool haircut.

As I added more, at some point I felt that I actually looked better with with tattoos than without. No different than thinking that I look better with makeup than without. I just felt cool inside. Not like, “Hey, see how cool and hip I am?” But more like just a private feeling of confidence and satisfaction.

@Breakme said:

I have never been in one place with so many tattooed people and have never felt so at home in my life. There was every kind of tattoo you could imagine on display, no one cared, no one stared, it was the most free I have felt and it was awesome.

@Breakme - That is so cool! I sort of know the feeling. I have felt that at tattoo conventions. But the difference is people stare, and its ok! :) Then I leave and come back to reality. :(

Its great that tattoos have made you feel good about your body. There is no way that can be considered "vanity!" I'm happy for you!

It is encouraging to me - being reluctant to show my tattoos in public - to hear that eventually you found it wasn't such a big deal. I'm working toward that.

[Breakme]

@soraya it's just baby steps, keep on keeping on and you'll get there and wonder what all the fuss was about ☺

[UglyButProud]

if you worry about what people think of your tattoo's. you probably made the wrong decision to get tattooed.

I think it's safe to say EVERYONE has a different reason for getting tattooed and ALL are absolutely valid.

I've come from a different era of tattooing..... one where it was still pretty underground and unknown unless you were in the military or some type of deviant (prison/biker/punk/etc.). Unless you lived in a major population center on the east or west coast, most straight people didn't have a clue about tattoo culture other than the occasional Geraldo Rivera news report about gang violence or bikers. The general population treated tattoos with nervous stares or clutched their children/purses and mostly avoided you. It was rare to get ANY comments from people and if they did muster the courage, it was usually a derogatory remark like "were you in prison?"

I don't want to make this a "back in my day" rant but, things are certainly different these days, especially for women with tattoos. That is not to say that everything is A-OK and the general population doesn't still act foolish/rude.

I completely understood what @Pete tattoo freak said as I've lived 30 years being heavily tattooed and it has been somewhat of a mantra for me. Everyone who gets into tattoos has their own journey.....

Maybe a better, more forum friendly, way to say it would've been:

Do what you do - for YOU.... Don't worry about what ANYONE else thinks.

If your "thing" makes you happy/confident/proud etc, that's what matters the most. Remember-YOU are the only person that lives in your skin.

[Pete tattoo freak]

ok to clear this up once and for all. my comment was a blanket statement. it wasn't directed at any one person. basically imo if you make the decision to get tattooed you will be judged by others period. so if being judged by others bothers you then imo you shouldn't get tattooed...simple. I personally dgaf how others feel about my tattoo's. stare all you want, make all the comments you want. I didn't get tattooed to get others approval. I got tattooed because its my passion. my house is filled with tattoo related stuff. paintings and prints etc. being tattooed to me is a lifestyle not a fad or fashion statement.

so being called a rude tattoo hater was absolute comedy to me. especially after that person looked at my profile and seen that I am heavily tattooed. so if my comment bothered some my bad. but I meant what I said and stand by it 100 percent.