Parents get tattoos to match daughter's birthmark

[SeeSea]

Caring parents get tattoos of young daughter's huge birthmark to make her feel special - Mirror Online

I just saw this, and my first thought was, "Wow - that is really cool!" Then about 5 seconds later it wasn't sitting too well with me. Huge blotchy tattoos down their entire legs. I understand the sentiment and it is very well intentioned. Their daughter will get the message that she is loved, they are the same, etc. Full props to the parents for wanting to have their child be accepted.

But when they go out, she will still be stared at. Do you think that her growing up with parents sharing her birthmark will give her the confidence to deal with a cruel public? It could have the opposite effect. They will be drawing attention to her birthmark for the rest of her life, even at a point when she might otherwise be more accepting herself - it will remain a constant reminder that yes, in fact, she was different enough that her parents felt that they had to DO something about it.

These tattoos will be topics of conversation every time her parents (and she) meet new people - rather than the notion of a birthmark (figuratively) fading over time, it will be kept in the forefront. Hell, she could have grown up to get a tattoo to COVER the birthmark, and still can. And....her parents will still have their tattoos. Will she resist doing anything to change her birthmark because then she might feel she would upset her parents after her parents went through the pain of helping her not feel different?

i don't know - what do you think? Did the parents do this for themselves or the child? In this article, the mother is more concerned about her feelings than the child's - how distraught SHE is. It was a gift for HER 40th birthday. She doesn't want the child to feel different. But the child IS different. She is emphasizing that difference.

Clearly, the child feels a connection with them right now and the matching tattoos/birthmark will shelter her to some degree, but will it help or hinder long term?

i am certainly not in their shoes, but I don't think I would do this to a child.

[Graeme]

Hell, she could have grown up to get a tattoo to COVER the birthmark, and still can. And....her parents will still have their tattoos.

No outline, no black shading...they're not going to have those tattoos when the kid grows up.

[PinkUnicorn]

Seems a bit creepy to me, and I guess the child won't like it later in life. (But who knows...)

[SeeSea]

No outline, no black shading...they're not going to have those tattoos when the kid grows up.

Well, yeah, there I go getting all psychological-like and not even thinking about the "watercolor" tattoo they got. facepalm.

[Shaun1105]

Wow, when I read the thread title and article topic, I just assumed it was birthmark on her face.

Sure, her birthmark is big, but it's on her leg. Your otherwise healthy child has a birthmark on her leg that can be covered by pants most of the time; and at a later dated could almost certainly could be lasered to be lighter/less visible.

Maybe this is just my perspective as the father of a child with special needs; but this seems super dumb to me.

It's also a waste of money and quality tattoo real estate.

[AverageJer]

Interesting post. I had a similar reaction in that initially I thought "cool" but then was a little unsure. My guess is that in the end it won't matter much one way or the other.

[MarvelAvengers]

No outline, no black shading...they're not going to have those tattoos when the kid grows up.

This is so untrue. Unless it's in an area with lots of sun. I have color tattoos 25 years old with no shading, just color, and are still at 75% from the day I got them.

[sighthound]

While the intention was good and all, probably just something more for the parents than the child - like you said.

[CultExciter]

This is so untrue. Unless it's in an area with lots of sun. I have color tattoos 25 years old with no shading, just color, and are still at 75% from the day I got them.

I think you missed the joke. But it's ok! Read up here: http://www.lastsparrowtattoo.com/forum/general-tattoo-discussion/2396-what-makes-good-tattoo.html

[Colored Guy]

They meant well. I hope they realize that things like birth marks can be greatly diminished by laser when she gets older.

[ChaosDani]

They meant well. I hope they realize that things like birth marks can be greatly diminished by laser when she gets older.

Maybe they'll all get lasered together when she gets older, so she won't have to feel different then either.

I think this is about making the parents feel special, rather than making the child feel accepted. I don't think they had the foresight to think about how the child will feel about it when she gets older. My guess is she won't like it. There are better ways to go about making a person feel accepted and loved. Making a big deal about of their faults, or "blemish" as the article says, is not the way to do it. To me, this is sending the message that how she looks is more important than her other qualities. And since she doesn't "look perfect" the parents are going through great lengths to make sure she doesn't feel bad about it. It doesn't sit well with me that the mother says she was "heartbroken" and that she "sobbed and sobbed knowing my baby was going to permanently marked for the rest of her life." It's just a birthmark! That baby is still beautiful! And beauty isn't everything anyway.

I dunno, maybe I'd feel differently if I had a birthmark. Or a child, for that matter.

[iowagirl]

My initial two second reaction was aww.....wait...

I love my kids. I wouldn't do that.

What would they have done if their child had been born w/Down Syndrome...or missing a limb...or dwarfism? I had a coworker whose son tipped over a candle and ended up w/horrendous burns over quite a bit of his body..so to make him feel accepted by others...they what..should set themselves on fire? I don't get it. Seems more about the parents, look what we did out of love for our child..which strikes me that A. birthmarks will ruin your life and the entire world is completely unaccepting of everyone everywhere. And B. tattoos are the equivalent of "ruining" your body.

I'll stick to teaching my kids empathy and compassion for others and "different, not less".

[falco4758]

silly, the child is going to be so embarrassed when she hits her teen years, awkward

[stevet]

I think its very heartfelt. i think they will fade or possibly get covered. I never thought about it hindering the kids life in anyway. All in all i think its great and loving.

[tay943]

This will only make this girl's birthmark (and by association, her physical appearance) the focus of her life. By getting their daughter's 'horrible disfigurement' tattooed on them it simply highlights that her body is her most important aspect. If they really wanted to give her a better outlook on life, they should not treat the birthmark as if it has any signifigance at all, which it shouldn't. Everyone is different, and she shouldn't be made to feel that that is a bad thing, even though it is apparent that her parents (especially the mother, who cried when her baby ended up with some skin discolouration even though she was otherwise in perfect health) do.

They could have a couple of grand in a College fund by now with what they would have spent on those tattoos.

Edited March 5, 2015 by tay943
spellcheck :/

[Beans]

EWWW! At first I thought a misplaced heartfelt sentiment. After reading her quotes and then seeing that she got another new tattoo at the same time. She seems like a self serving narcissists to me :/. Really, what they did was make a point that the child was blemished and would never be good enough. All the while, she goes public and gets the greatest mom award for being selfless Strategic if you ask me.