Ridiculous articles that don't deserve their own thread

[SeeSea]

Every now and then I come across an inane article with new and amusing statements about the same old stereotypes; an article that could be worthy of a chuckle or an eye-roll, but certainly not its own thread.

Why do we really get tattoos? A theory. [subtitled] How common are tattoos? Too common.

While there is no longer any compelling reason to get a tattoo, there are several reasons not to:

Tempus fugit. Sitting around for hours while some dude enlivens your back with lotus blossoms, ghouls, and moonbeams is a colossal waste of time. You could be learning to tap dance or play the accordion.

Then after trashing tattoos for various inane and unsupported reasons, he attempts to cool-ify himself by sporting an Ed Hardy T-shirt and then bitching that he's being dissed by fashion insiders for wearing it.

Accordion?

O_o?

[TrixieFaux]

Why do we really write articles? A postulation. (How common are opinion pieces? Exasperatingly common!)

;)

[BrookR70]

He lost me when he referred to himself as "moi" and "yours truly".

[AverageJer]

Pretty bad article. It seems like he is going out of his way to create a conflict between people who have tattoos and people who don't. There are way too many people here in Minneapolis with tattoos and without tattoos to divide along those lines. I still prefer to create the divide lines more like "people who are assholes vs people who are not assholes" and this writer makes it pretty clear which side of that cultural divide he resides on.

[MGblues]

This article is just a prime example of trolling. Slate has sadly turned into clickbait same as Buzzfeed and Huffpost in recent years.

[PinkUnicorn]

I actually found it reasonably funny...

[Fala]

Ugh, I really hate it when people call tattoos "tats" or refer to people who have/are tattooed as being "tatted up". Really bugs me. Terrible, terrible article and... who cares anyway? Why can't we all just do what we want to do with our bodies? We aren't hurting anyone else in doing so...

[SeeSea]

Hey - I wanna be one of those "old broads in the canasta salon ... sporting radical ink." :D

It just cracks me up because this guy is so full of himself. I think he enjoys mucking around with words and language (which is awesome) more than he researches actual content.

He tailors himself as, "Simon Doonan is an author, fashion commentator, and creative ambassador for Barneys New York."

He's also the one who also brings us such gems as

"Confessions of a Selfie Addict: Stop sneering, the selfie is a glorious art form"

"Why are Guys Afraid to Wear Speedos?" and

"Don't Ever Die, Joan Rivers, We Need You!"

I'm not including links. You already get the idea. It was an amusing breakfast surf.

[DJDeepFried]

"Rutting unicorns and a lunar landscape" is a killer tattoo idea.

[polliwog]

Here's something I've noticed from reading a variety of articles similar to this one recently, that assume it's edgy to trash tattoos now that they're everywhere. It's OK to display your uninformed attitudes with pride, as long as the subject is tattooing. This is weird to me, the idea that you can decide not to educate yourself about something before spouting forth on it - because you've already determined that it's beneath you - and that this somehow enhances your argument by making you look like more of a badass contrarian. I guess it's the way that a lot of clickbait is written but it sure is disheartening. I find Simon Doonan intermittently amusing, but this article is not, and he mentions aging as if he's being forced to pick up a dead mouse. I would much rather read an article on the pros and cons of tattoos' popularity by someone who's been getting them or making them forever.

At least we can agree on Joan Rivers.

[Cork]

I've never heard the term clickbait, but now it all makes sense. I cannot articulate myself nearly as well as you guys, but I agree on the general consensus that this article sucks balls. :D

CLICK HERE TO LEARN THAT ONE TRICK THAT WILL TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND

[SeeSea]

Dude was about to get a watercolor tattoo and AND YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT!

[growltiger]

A few days ago the Daily Fail rolled out yet another tired old article on why tattoos are no longer just for bikers and sailors yada yada. The lady whose photo it used (without her permission) with an impressively patronising caption ("Fortunately most women don't go as far as having a tattoo 'sleeve' covering their whole arm.") has blogged about it here:

Needles and Sins Tattoo Blog | "World's Worst" ... Tattoo Reporting

[cltattooing]

I am actually pretty glad for people who are so vocal about their stupid opinions, because it's fair warning for me to stay the fuck away. It's good.