Relationships and tattoos

[polliwog]

I had a similar conversation with my best friend. I do sometimes feel guilty about spending this money on myself, but I'm buying something handmade and meeting amazing people. To me that beats a closet full of mass-produced clothes or a lot of (probably unhealthy and fattening) take-out meals.

The flipside is that there are a lot of broken things in my house that haven't been fixed yet...

[Euchlid]

it only becomes awkward when you have close friends who bitch openly to you ( or on social media) about having no money ever, or being in trouble financially (like worrying how to pay for rent certain months) and then they go and get tattoos (or piercings, or buy whatever other material things). My thoughts are…. perhaps you should save up some money so every other month you're not putting yourself in the same situation. Also, having the cash piggy bank for tattoos means you also have a cash back up supply for emergencies (like helping your kid repay his car, etc).

Especially when these are pals I've helped out financially in a bind…… I don't expect to be paid back, it just sucks to see skewed priorities months in a row.

[Breakme]

I had a similar conversation with my best friend. I do sometimes feel guilty about spending this money on myself, but I'm buying something handmade and meeting amazing people. To me that beats a closet full of mass-produced clothes or a lot of (probably unhealthy and fattening) take-out meals.

I was feeling OK with the amount that I had spent on my tattoos, until a close friend asked me what I had paid for them and I stupidly told him. His face dropped, and I spent the next 10 minutes justifying to him why I felt it was money well spent. A couple of months later, he had posted my tattoo on another forum and told everyone what it had cost. Not cool.

[polliwog]

That's a pretty douchey interpretation of "being a close friend".

[Breakme]

He is a really good guy, so I have no idea why he would do something like that.

Lesson learnt, time to think of smartass answers for any future questions of that nature.

[Mick Weder]

@Breakme. Fuckin'.....hell! That there's no mate. That's just a breach of friendship morals right there. With mates like that, who needs fuckin' enemies right?

Oh, and don't people understand?? Ya don't "fall" off fuckin' motorcycles. You either crash for riding beyond your capabilities or because some retard t-bones ya 'cause the fuckers not paying attention.

My old man used to break my balls all the time about riding, until this one day when I was taking the bike out, he comes in & says to me....mate, ya shouldn't be riding ya know fuckin' bla bla fuckin' bla.

I snapped at him saying...fuckin' hell mate, I know how fuckin' dangerous it is on the roads with the amount of wombats out there trying to sandwich me out, the last thing I need while I'm mentally preparing myself to ride safe, is you reminding me of how fuckin' dangerous it is.

He's never said another word about riding since.

Anyway, @Graeme. Ya right. People can stick their latest gadgets, tea towel & spoon collections up their arse. I've got my corner covered, they should concentrate on theirs.

- - - Updated - - -

Lesson learnt, time to think of smartass answers for any future questions of that nature.

Yeah, I forgot to mention. I hate motherfuckers who ask me how much I spent on tattoos. Like, I really fuckin' hate that.

I tell 'em, it ain't about the money. I don't count, nor can I put a $ value on it. It's something a lot deeper than a superficial material need.

If people gotta ask me how much & why, I tell them now...those types of questions tell me you have no genuine interest to understand the origins of tattooing & what it means, so I refuse to waste my time trying to educate the curious. Fuck 'em.

[Breakme]

@Mick Weder I pulled him up about it, told him I wasn't comfortable with what he had posted and to remove it. He won't be doing that again.

Had my bike for 4 years, never dropped it, never crashed it. Did have a few close calls with dickheads trying to race me or swooping in front of me on the motorway. It was around the time when the TAC had those awful anti-motorcycle ads on the telly, portraying us all as hoons who race everywhere and go over the centre line on blind corners, and Super Cheap had that CARma ad where the guy is filtering through the traffic and he gets doored. But that is a whole different thread.

[LadyGabe]

Luckily, my boyfriend and I both collect, and have decent coverage. So in regards to the original post theme, I am all good!

But reading these last few pages, I feel a lot of peoples frustrations!

My parents don't ask how much it cost anymore thankfully. They respect that as long as I am paying my way through life, then why should they make comments on how I spend my extra cash? I don't go out getting drunk every weekend like some, I don't spend loads on hair cuts or beauty treatments like other girls I know. Never touched drugs in my life, don't smoke, don't have any crazy debts.

All my extra money is put into travel, tattoos and art supplies as I illustrate.

When friends ask me how much, I say "it costs what it costs for something that is there for the rest of my life". I try not to discuss it. I have close female friends who have loads of decent coverage, one who is married to a tattoo artist and the others are artists themselves and appreciate you get what you pay for so I can at least be open with them.

But others, who turn their nose up at paying for than £60 for 2 hours work or travelling outside of their home town for better work... well, what do their opinions matter anyway?

They obviously don't appreciate the art form, or what it means to get good work as a passion, and not a little shitty scratch on their skin for the sake of fashion. I dont judge that they spend £100 + a month on getting their hair and nails done, when they don't work and live off benefits which is meant to be for their children!...well maybe I judge a little :rolleyes:

[BrookR70]

Just a follow up to post #345...

So, while at my in-laws watching the world cup, I sank deeply into a chair and was just zoning out. My wife yelled out, "What's that on your shoulder?". Apparently, my sleeve crept up and revealed my sweet and sour babies.

"Do you have any others? Let me see your back!"

I showed her my bouy tattoo. She asked when I got them and I told her the first week of November and that she hadn't seen my bare back since last September. She was completely dumbfounded to say the least. My mother-in-law almost fell over in her chair trying to listen to our conversation.

My wife was pretty upset, but not really because of the tattoos. She had gotten used to the idea that I had them. The fact that she hadn't seen them in such a long time showed her that I could be respectful around her. What she was really upset about was the fact that I went to great lengths to hide something from her and what else was I hiding from her. Completely understandable. I apologized for that, but told her that I just didn't want to go through the drama after every time I got one.

Luckily she put everything in perspective and she knows I'm a good husband and father. She asked if I was going to get any more. I was honest and told her that I probably was going to fill in the center of my back. She understood that and I only got the silent treatment for a couple of hours instead of a couple of days.

She wasn't too crazy about the sweet and sour babies. She critiqued them and thought they were too plain compared to my others. She liked the new buoy tattoo but didn't like the meaning behind it (solitude/being alone). She also insisted that when I get my back filled in, that there be a small blue bird to represent her. I agreed to that.

So, everything worked out and I can now sleep with my shirt off again. I'm going to get my center back piece done during the first week of September, while she's gone on a business trip. It's going to be a ship and a lighthouse (the lighthouse of the town I grew up in). I recently sold one of my motorcycles, so I have a little extra cash.

[SeeSea]

She also insisted that when I get my back filled in, that there be a small blue bird to represent her. I agreed to that.

...and there you go. It had better be a very nice blue bird, and you're golden.

[Colored Guy]

I was feeling OK with the amount that I had spent on my tattoos, until a close friend asked me what I had paid for them and I stupidly told him. His face dropped, and I spent the next 10 minutes justifying to him why I felt it was money well spent. A couple of months later, he had posted my tattoo on another forum and told everyone what it had cost. Not cool.

I really don't tell anyone what they cost that I don't want to. Plainskins... never. Anyone who hadn't gotten a tattoo in 30 years... never. Everyone makes their own deal with the shop so what I pay doesn't mean that's what anyone else will pay for something comparable.

People who aren't into the art, they just have no understanding. Explaining my position is like mooning a blind person, the translation is lost.

[mhapp95]

When I started dating my current partner, he was actually against tattoos, and it became the cause of a lot of friction between us. I think his perception of tattoo shops and tattooed people in general was very stereotypical. The whole dirty trashy tattoo shop, drugs, alcohol, crazy, out of control thing. As I began to collect more tattoos he was actually pretty ticked off about it. I finally convinced him to come with me to get the shading finished on one of mine. He was surprised how clean and professional the environment was, and how talented my artist and other artists were. He has one of his own now, and thinking about a second! I think the main problem is the negative perception by others most times.

[ChrisvK]

my ex used to bitch about me getting a new tattoo as a christmas present to myself even though I was the one earning money. I supported the both of us with a shitty job working 6-7 days a week, sometimes double shift so we had a roof and food. She kept buying stupid shit like shoes n clothes and stuff and then had the nerve to bitch about me getting a new tattoo. Guess that was the beginning of the end and now im a free man again ;) Currently being a broke traveler again but once i get some sort of income again the first priority will be a tattoo roadtrip

[BrookR70]

Ha! If my SWMBO saw the place where I get tattooed, she would force me to take a battery of tests before letting me near her and my daughter. OK, so it's not really that bad, but it is very old school, which is why I like it.

When I started dating my current partner, he was actually against tattoos, and it became the cause of a lot of friction between us. I think his perception of tattoo shops and tattooed people in general was very stereotypical. The whole dirty trashy tattoo shop, drugs, alcohol, crazy, out of control thing. As I began to collect more tattoos he was actually pretty ticked off about it. I finally convinced him to come with me to get the shading finished on one of mine. He was surprised how clean and professional the environment was, and how talented my artist and other artists were. He has one of his own now, and thinking about a second! I think the main problem is the negative perception by others most times.

[tatB]

Ha! If my SWMBO saw the place where I get tattooed, she would force me to take a battery of tests before letting me near her and my daughter. OK, so it's not really that bad, but it is very old school, which is why I like it.

Has your wife seen your tattoos yet?

[BrookR70]

Post #426

Has your wife seen your tattoos yet?

[tatB]

Post #426

missed that post... congrats! sounds like you have her support.

[Swifty]

First post here, I'm on the other end of the relationship...

I don't have any tattoos and when I met my wife, she was already pretty covered up(thumb, wrist, arm, foot, multiple pieces on her back, ribs).

I always thought it enhanced her features and was part of her and her personality.

I don't know that it necessarily impacted my decision going one way or the other(I think her trunk had a much bigger impact :p) but I definitely always thought tattooed ladies were more intriguing than non-tattooed.

My opinion on this has only gotten better the longer I'm with her, we've been together nearly 7 years now and married for 5 years (anniversary in 2 days) and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else, she's my best friend and if for any reason I'd ever end up being single again, I think I'd certainly add a checkbox on my list of criteria to include tattoos moving forward.

I was one of those guys who always said I'm never going to get a tattooed unless I go all out and get sleeves done... I've always had designs and thoughts about what to do and what to get, but it was always just a thought. I was that guy you guys meet and can't stand who love to talk about tats but doesn't have any. Sorry! :confused:

Well, she's been pushing for it long enough now that I was on a waiting list for nearly a year and am now booked for 2 sessions to get my 1st sleeve done in October. I'm so excited, I can't wait...

[BrookR70]

No tiptoeing for you...jumping right in. :D

[kazm]

I have three tattoos and plan to get more. My husband has none and I don't think he ever will. The only issue we have when it comes.to tattoos is that when I try to discuss ideas with him, he refuses to give feedback. This is his (irksome) way of letting me do what I want.

My best friend on the other hand has about ten tattoos, and her fiance keeps asking her not to get more... we'll see how that plays out.

[someotherguy]

My fiancé and I have been together for 7 years. I was already fully sleeved on both arms and had neck and hand tattoos when we met and she doesn't have any. It's never been an issue between us...I still get tattooed and she still has no plans to get any work done.

[CABS]

I'm all for a big giant line through an ex's name.

[OutOfIdeas]

I'm all for a big giant line through an ex's name.

I kike Oliver Peck's solution: take "Kat Von D" and add "is a bitch" after the breakup. Simple and effective

[soraya]

I know this is an old post, but I like the subject of this thread because it resonates with me.

@Breakme: I know what you mean about wanting someone to share with. My husband is tattooed, and he loves my tattoos, but he stopped getting ink several years ago. So at least I have someone who appreciates mine and supports me. Although I like being the more heavily tattooed one in our relationship, I wish he would continue getting tattooed. I find them attractive on him, and it also would be nice if we could share the journey, both as active participants.

I try to be pretty private with my tattoos, and like you, none of my friends are tattooed, or even remotely interested. I do wish I had some "tattoo friends" besides my husband. You know…support group…shared interests and experiences, etc. Someone you can go to and say, "Hey! look what I got last week!"

[Breakme]

@soraya I hear you, it would be really nice to have someone/s to be able to talk to about recent tattoos without the usual questions from non-tattooed people like "so why did you get a ....... tattooed on you?" or "so you must really love ........ aye!"

We never know who may come into our lives in the future, hopefully we get what we wish for one day :-)