Relationships and tattoos

[Margarita Yaschenko]

I started dating my husband after we had been friends for about 7 years. By the time I was doing a tattoo, and he (as he lived in Kaliningrad) was only a small tattoo. Now we zakaverili it made him a tattoo on both legs and two half sleeves. That is, in our family we do not mind the tattoo.

But if I was to meet with the man, and he would have forbidden me to do a tattoo - I would be surprised. Even more surprised if he had said that he would leave me if I do a tattoo (such story I heard from customers). This is my body and my decision. Certainly nice when your husband or wife support your hobbies.

But categorically forbid something in this regard - I personally think is very wrong. This is a direct blackmail turns.

[rufio]

Did any of you ever had a breakup with your significant other or relatives that dont want to talk to you anymore because of your tattoo's?

[knucklehead211]

It's funny, I always thought my family would disown me or try to change my ways, but they accept it. My dad isn't a fan, neither is my mom, but my dad's side of the family doesn't really care. They're pretty liberal about most things anyways. Out of respect for most oldies in any situation, I usually don't wear less than short sleeves (cover about half of my half sleeve).

Side note: asked my gf what she thought of me getting a full body sleeve. Response: "No, I'll divorce you" lol

[xcom]

@jen7,

I know what you mean about the uncomfortable moment. My wife is very conservative and some what religious person. While she accepts my tattoos she does tend to make those uncomfortable comments here and there.... I learn to ignore them.

[Beans]

That's rough, I suppose I'm extremely lucky. I'm currently a plain skin gal but am starting my fisrt 3/4 sleeve in one months time. (life long dream) Hubby is SO excited for me but he's getting a little green too, so he's making himself a conseltation to start his back piece. :) We are both fairly conservative as well as Christians. I think it's such a shame people should be made to feel bad for their personal choices, that DO NOT hurt anyone else. I might be naive, at this point but no one has a right to judge.

[rufio]

That's rough, I suppose I'm extremely lucky. I'm currently a plain skin gal but am starting my fisrt 3/4 sleeve in one months time. (life long dream) Hubby is SO excited for me but he's getting a little green too, so he's making himself a conseltation to start his back piece. :) We are both fairly conservative as well as Christians. I think it's such a shame people should be made to feel bad for their personal choices, that DO NOT hurt anyone else. I might be naive, at this point but no one has a right to judge.

But doesnt your religion gets in the way of getting a tattoo? or the other way around?

[Beans]

But doesnt your religion gets in the way of getting a tattoo? or the other way around?

Religion DOES frown apon tattoos, lucky for me, I HATE religion ;) I do NOT at all identify with being religious. I believe in God. I believe we should treat others the way we want to be treated. Not to get all Bibley but JC hated the church and religion too. :)

[rufio]

Religion DOES frown apon tattoos, lucky for me, I HATE religion ;) I do NOT at all identify with being religious. I believe in God. I believe we should treat others the way we want to be treated. Not to get all Bibley but JC hated the church and religion too. :)

I see what you mean, (JC is jesus christ right?) I am agnostic. But i try to live my life in a good way, Not hurting other people etc. Should there be a good i guess thats good enough. Else, ill just hangout with lucifer. He seems allright to be honest.

[Beans]

Your correct, that's who JC is :) Yep, we all have our beliefs, mine.....Just love one another and TRY to make the world a better place, and if all else fails.....Hubby and I keep plenty of loaded guns ;)

[pidjones]

Not all religion frowns on tattoos. I worship with a congregation that has three members of the praise team all with tattoos (visible), and I know several ministers with tattoos. There is one verse in Leviticus that forbids tattoos for the dead. That same chapter forbids cutting the hair at the sides of your head or edges of your beard, harvesting from a fruit tree less than five years old, or wearing clothing of two kinds of material. There were reasons - good reasons at the time - for each of these. Doesn't mean it all applies today.

[Beans]

Not all religion frowns on tattoos. I worship with a congregation that has three members of the praise team all with tattoos (visible), and I know several ministers with tattoos. There is one verse in Leviticus that forbids tattoos for the dead. That same chapter forbids cutting the hair at the sides of your head or edges of your beard, harvesting from a fruit tree less than five years old, or wearing clothing of two kinds of material. There were reasons - good reasons at the time - for each of these. Doesn't mean it all applies today.

Your absolutely correct! But so many people misunderstand or twist that, for me it's just easier to go with religion VS Christianity than to try to explain. :) Unfortunately, I'm not sure how my tattoos will even go over at the mission I volunteer with. I'm just hoping my character and work outwardly expresses where my heart is at, and it won't hurt my position there.

[knucklehead211]

Yeah it's kinda been a new outcropping where you'll see these hard looking kids with 3/4 sleeves and piercings everywhere, and they're youth ministers lol. I think it's neat, just wish I could get away with it!

[Ashley76]

I grew up in a very conservative area where tattoos are still frowned upon. Ironically my boyfriend's family knows that I have a tattoo while only my mother and stepfather are the only ones who know in my family. My boyfriend teases me about it and going to church, but its all in good fun, especially since he went with me as support when I got it done.

As my best friend put it to me, "Jesus says my body is a temple, I'm just decorating the walls."

[Isotope]

I'm extremely lucky. The love of my life is a Plainskin by choice, but she loves my tattoos. To her they speak to the commitment I give to get to where I've gotten in my life, especially given where I started. Her only request ever has been for me to tell her what I'm planning to get before I book.

[Christina Marshall]

It's quite funny when I think about this actually!

My boyfriend doesn't have any tattoos, although before we got together, mine were a good talking point and he expressed his interest in getting some. He seemed to have his heart set on two. Since then, I have gotten a big piece on my thigh, and he doesn't seem as bothered to get any himself. He used to be heavily involved in the local metal scene, and I guess that being around tattooed people may have sparked his interest, but since he has turned his focus to education and work, this interest has dwindled.

I don't mind him without tattoos, and he likes mine (I came with five, so it wasn't like I have radically changed on the ink front since we got together). Seeing as most of mine are hidden by clothing, they aren't in his face all of the time. Most people presume I just have the two wrist ones, and seem surprised when I confess to the hidden four!

[Synesthesia]

When my boyfriend met me, I had one small tattoo on my foot with plans to get more...5 years later, I have 4 more. He gets a little sad every time I talk about getting more, but the more I get, the less it seems to affect him. There's not much difference between 4 and 5 tattoos, and there's even less difference between 9 or 10. ;) The more I expose him to tattoos, the more he's finding things he likes about them. He likes a lot of sacred geometry type designs (not really my thing) and has said he might get one (cute, he actually thinks he can stop at one) really large geometric type design someday. They're still definitely more "my thing," but he's warmed up to them a lot in the past few years.

[beez]

hey guys. haven't read through this entire thread. just had a really weird (and hurtful) experience with someone I have been intimately involved with for four years. We dated for a year and then broke up, but we have been best friends for the last three. (both of us have dated other people in this time and blah blah, tho have spent the majority of our time with each other.)

Because this is someone I spend 75% of every day with - and have for the last four years - and our relationship seemed to have changed over the last few months - I said "hey, I like you as more than a friend again, want to go out sometime?" which led, hours later, to "I could never marry you because your tattoos aging would be a problem for me".

I feel like this is more of a cop out than anything ("it's not you, it's your tattoos!"), but it doesn't really matter in the long run. And obvs I was talking about a date and not marriage but that's where he ended up. (I mean, fair enough, if you know it will never work because of something unchangeable...)

Can I just say: ouch, that's cold, that hurt more than anything he could have said, unless he told me something like my freckles might disgust him as they aged.

It feels like a weird sort of body shaming?

I'm in shock. It really hurts. I'm kind of trying to dial down why, because I know some people don't like tattoos and that's just an innate thing, the same way we all like tattoos, but he's never mentioned anything like that to me. For the record, I def had tattoos four years ago when we dated. Sure, I have more now. And he's been here this whole time as they have grown and grown and grown. Never said a word (nor would he have any reason to, I guess, other than discussing tattoo coverage WHICH I DO ALL THE TIME)

I have never felt like my tattoos were a barrier to marriage or a long term relationship, though that is what society told me growing up, and that's what my mom said when i got my first visible one ("what about your wedding day?!"). And this guy who has been my BFF for years....certainly had many qualities that I would look for in a long term partner...never would i have thought my tattoos would be a barrier to that.

I can see that it's a cop out. At 80 someone's gonna look 80 regardless.

Anyway. Ouch. Anybody here with plainskin partners who might want to chip in? Why does the tattoo thing sting so much more than the actual 'rejection'?

[jen7]

A truly loving person would never say that or think that. Sorry.

[SnowyPlover]

Sorry Beez, what he said must of been a harsh slap in the face - I think his words go even beyond body shaming, it's also getting older shaming - like you need to be perfectly preserved at 25, forever. Wow. I think this maybe be the type of person you don't want to spend your time/energy with as much. I'm so sorry. Even if he tries to backtrack - what has been said cannot be unsaid. I find it strange that he has never mentioned any of his feeling about tattoos throughout your relationship. This was a really shitty way to treat someone.

There are people out there who are of good heart and sound mind that won't let such things as tattoos and the inevitability of aging distract them from enjoying life and love.

[Fala]

@beez - This is shitty on so many levels, I am so sorry.

My husband is currently plainskin, but by August he no longer will be but... I've been getting tattooed for a few years now, and when I started I was partly concerned that this would be an issue with my husband. Thankfully, he respected that this is my body and he loves me for me - no matter what my body looks like. He's also very pragmatic in that he knows we'll all look like we're 80 regardless of tattoos or not - something like this is not an issue.

For me, it would sting so much more because it is a choice to get tattooed. You love the you with tattoos, so he's rejecting your choices, your body, your life. It's much more hurtful than saying, "I just don't like you" because it is so specific. It's also saying, to me, that he wants someone who would be willing to change (or deny) their essence in order to be with him, that he wants his partner to be who he wants them to be (in order to love them) and not who they are (wrinkles, tattoos and all).

Big hug for you.

[DJDeepFried]

Doesn't he know that tattoos just get better with age?

[knucklehead211]

That's awful. My gf and I were in a situation like that. She wanted someone who didn't smoke, didn't have an attitude, no tattoos, super nerdy - and I was like that when we met! Now I'm an inked up, half pack a day flannel wearing gamer who's nerdiness doesn't go much further than what games out next and thankfully she still loves me. We grew together since high school, and neither of us are the same, but we love each other more than ever (she's even given me the ok on full sleeves when I'm ready). If this person can be your bff for four years and not accept you for you, then that says a lot about THEM - not you.

[Dan]

hey guys. haven't read through this entire thread. just had a really weird (and hurtful) experience with someone I have been intimately involved with for four years. We dated for a year and then broke up, but we have been best friends for the last three. (both of us have dated other people in this time and blah blah, tho have spent the majority of our time with each other.)

I always have thought that if a person is going to love another romantically or friends,

love is based on accepting them for who they are,

inside & out.

beez,IMO he doesn't deserve to be in your life,if he would say something like that to you.

[Beans]

Im so sorry someone you cared for so deeply shamed you in such a way. Its an awful thing to do to anyone much less your BFF. Honestly, you are a much better person and deserve to have the love of someone who values you for you. Not the thin covering of aging skin we are all bound to.

[pidjones]

So sorry that you have been hurt, but... count blessings it has finally come out, and you can move on. My wife has no body mods and was a bit shocked last year when I started. She seems to mainly be concerned that I get good work safely, and am pleased with it. She has never indicated an objection. It hasn't changed who I am.