Relationships and tattoos

[sophistre]

In the meantime, there is LST. :)

[tay943]

I recently expressed the desire to get a small traditional style crystal tattooed on my chest, pretty much right in between the 'girls' to my boyfriend, and he scrunched his face up at the idea. When we met I already had two on my thigh, and recently got another above my ankle that I had planned since before we started dating. I have always planned to keep getting tattooed, and never really considered his opinion before when it came to getting them (it is a relatively new relationship and I have only recently begun to discuss ideas with him). I feel the way that others who have posted on the subject do, that while I retain ownership of my body if its something he's going to hate looking at I don't want to cause a rift, but at the same time its something I really wanted to di, even before I met him.

[marley mission]

tay some tough decisions for you ahead

credit to you for considering your BFs feelings considering its a new relationship

myself - i am married to a plainskin and i will have a dozen pieces at the end of january

and we def have diff opinions on tattoos

i actually wish she would get some (between the girls would be a great spot lol)

but she doesnt dig the idea and thats fine me

shes sexy as all get out just as she is

anyway - we respect each other's wishes on this front

she is fine with me continuing to get more ink as long as i'm not breaking the bank

and i'm ok with her 'plainskin'

hopefully you can figure this out

but i think a bigger discussion is in the works for you two - good luck

[pidjones]

For my wife of 33 years, it came as a shock, I think. She said it didn't seem like "me". Tay, is he trying to digest and accept, or rejecting outright? And is it the design (or placement) or another tattoo in general? Does he have family that this might cause concern with (my wife seems very concerned with aunts/uncles/cousins seeing mine, although she has a nephew with a lot of ink on his legs)? Tattoos aside, this could be an indication of other future differences that could either damage, or perhaps enhance, the relationship. For instance, our nephew's plain-skin wife adjusted to and now loves and is proud of his ink.

[scubaron]

In the last year I went from zero tattoos to 5. All medium sized on my legs and shoulders. Was planning on something for my back, but my wife said no more tattoos. She has none.

I have to admit, from 0 to 5 in 1 year can be viewed as excessive and impulsive. In the future maybe she or I will change our minds. For now, I just ordered some art books with themes and styles that interest me.

[tay943]

Thanks for the thoughtful responses :). I think this might be a step for him because my other tattoos are on my legs, not near such an 'important' area haha. @pidjones I think it is the placement that is his main concern, as I already had two tattoos when I met him, as well as my septum and several other piercings. I've never really looked 'plain'. His mum is a little conservative but his family wouldn't really affect anything like that. And thanks @marley mission, it sounds like a good idea to have a discussion about exactly where is issues with the tattoo lilye and hopefully we can work something out. I definetly have plenty of other ideas that I can focus on first haha.

@scubaron I got my first tattoo on my birthday in August and I have three now, I don't think it's excessive if you have lots of ideas; I have so many ideas that have been going through my head for ages and the only thing slowing me down is the funding.

[Patrick Bateman]

I've always had the hots for girls with tattoos. Even before I got a tattoo, i was always into these girls. Even more now that I have a few.

[joakim urma]

I've been in a relationship with one woman who had a single tattoo (quite big skull wearing a crown, and snake or dagger, on her lower leg) and I've been with some women who really liked my tattoos a lot (fascination, more or less of sexual nature) and wanted to talk about them and about how they percieved me because of them, that it was a turn of for them and so on.

Honestly, I don't care for being some object of fetishism for a person that I care about and who knows me well (for a one night stand it can be a fun game to play though) And I don't really like talking at length about (my) tattoos with people without their own, and with little understanding, taste and knowledge of the art (usually goes hand in hand)

My girlfriend as of a few months back has a really good approach to it, which makes me feel very comfortable. In the meantime I've been chipping away on my backpiece and gotten four other tattoos. It took a long time before we said anything more about my tattoos than the fact that they are all over my body. She knows that tattoos are important for me (and as with anything I'm passioned about she is encouraging) but since it's not an interest we have in common we seldom speak about it. She is mildly positive towards tattoos, but has none herself (she was going to get the logo of her punk band tattooed but it's been postponed indefinitely) She likes my tattoos and she doesn't think it's a big deal whenever I talk about the next one. I can show her tattoos on instagram and I can feel that she is starting to "get it" more and more, but she is not doing it to please me, she's honest. She is also very well rounded when it comes to taste in culture in general and appriciates different art forms, I think it helps.

I don't know if this was such a good explination of how tattoos sits in our relationship, but for a plainskin I must say she has an amazing attitude.

As for myself, I'm turning more and more into a snob when it comes to tattoos and I would much rather be with someone with no tattoos than someone with bad tattoos. It's not often that I come across a woman with really great tattoos and a lot of coverage, but when I do see someone like that : god damn, it's hot!

[Marwin3000]

I'm in a really good place with my girlfriend. We've been together for almost 5 years. When we first met I only had one quite small tattoo on my foot, and I wasn't into the culture and tattoos like I am now.

Over the last 1,5 year I've almost covered my arm and some on my thigh. My girlfriend has one tiny tattoo and is not into tattoos like I am. She doesn't have any plans to get any tattoos either. She's always supportive of my interests and the stuff I like. I show her tattoos all the times and she's always honest with her opinions. Even though she doesn't like tattoos the same way I do, she gets the whole thing. She can spot a quality tattoo from a bad one and she respects the culture. As long as my girlfriend respects me for me and is okay with my tattoos and the fact that I will be more covered than I am, I'm happy!

[Bmore]

My girlfriend is pretty great about my tattoos. She's not tattooed, nor will she ever be, and I feel as though I can say that with the utmost certainty, though things can always change. She gets genuinely excited for me and encourages me, which is really nice. I think it's been a bit of a transformation for her, because she's never had any kind of interest in tattoos before me.

It's great to be able to show her awesome tattoos on LST and instagram, and hear her appreciation for them (even if she sometimes doesn't particularly like them). Her family loves me, but I know that they aren't fans of tattoos. Her parents have intimated before that they'd be pissed if she got one, so it does cross my mind that the more I get covered, they might have negative opinions. Unfortunate, but not the end of the world.

[KBeee]

I think this might be a step for him because my other tattoos are on my legs, not near such an 'important' area haha....I think it is the placement that is his main concern

Ha...that was actually my first thought when I read your initial post. I have married friends who have preferences about how much their favorite "bits" on their partner are decorated/changed. It's not a rational attachment but, I think, a natural one. Even I had a quick moment of "nooo noooo don't cover the bummm" panic in the middle of a backpiece discussion with my Hubbs once. It passed quickly but it was interesting to see come up (we are both pretty tattood/pretty always gonna be gettin tattooed people)...I think a little resistance to such things can be a perfectly natural knee jerk reaction.

[Rob I]

My wife has zero tattoos and no plans on getting any in the future. That said, she appreciates them, and has no issues with them at all. She loves mine, or at least that what she tells me. She did ask me not to get my stomach tattooed, and was leery when I was going to have Chad tattoo my chest... though her first words upon seeing the outline were "fucking awesome!!"....

Side note- she actually drove me to and from the tattoo shop when I was 18 yrs old getting my first tattoo (an infiniti sign on my hip to hide from my parents...and it wasn't played out or cliche in 1992... The tattoo artist actually asked me if i meant the sideways 8 or the car logo.......I started a massive and terrible fad!!! LOL)

We all have our things. If we hate the things our significant other is into, then it can be a problem I guess. Luckily for me, my wife is extraordinarily tolerant of all of my weird interests, hobbies, and collections.

[Pugilist]

Also your wife is awesome!

[markdeerhunter]

My wife has two small tattoos and doesn't mind mine. She doesn't care for full sleeves though.

[pidjones]

.... (an infiniti sign on my hip to hide from my parents...and it wasn't played out or cliche in 1992... The tattoo artist actually asked me if i meant the sideways 8 or the car logo.......I started a massive and terrible fad!!! LOL)....

Hang your head in shame!

[Rob I]

@Pugilist Thanks!! Total fact!

@pidjones I am sorry. I should have just gotten the car logo.

[Metfly]

My wife cannot stand my tattoos. She likes tattoos just not on me but i am heavily tattooed. She has none and doesn't want any. Thing is, she doesnt resent me for them, loves me for who i am and won't stop me from getting them. In the past i would get chewed out but eventually she just stopped doing that and would act like there was nothing there. I personally don't feel bad about it because a) it's my body b) she knew who she was marrying.

She's gained a good amount of weight since we got married 8 years ago and i never mention a thing even though at 39 i am in the best shape of my life. I think that weight gain will affect her health more than tattoos will affect mine in the future.

[Kimmie]

When my boyfriend and I first started dating a couple of years ago, he already had four good sized tattoos (calf, chest, and two the same upper arm) and I only had one relatively small one. We went to a convention with a friend that is pretty covered and my bf got a small one somewhat spur of the moment.

I've always loved tattoos and loved that he had some, but it was crazy to me that he would add another without thinking/planning for a while. But now, as I plan future pieces, I totally understand the itch. He's super supportive of me getting more, and even a little bit jealous that I'm next :)

[Colored Guy]

My wife cannot stand my tattoos. She likes tattoos just not on me but i am heavily tattooed. She has none and doesn't want any. Thing is, she doesn't resent me for them, loves me for who i am and won't stop me from getting them. In the past i would get chewed out but eventually she just stopped doing that and would act like there was nothing there. I personally don't feel bad about it because a) it's my body b) she knew who she was marrying.

She's gained a good amount of weight since we got married 8 years ago and i never mention a thing even though at 39 i am in the best shape of my life. I think that weight gain will affect her health more than tattoos will affect mine in the future.

My wife only had issues on where I got the $$ for my tattoo work. I wheel & deal car parts, do machine shop on the side so I always have my own money, most of which went into the household.

My wife gained a lot of weight over the years, I never said a peep either since she was still beautiful and all her physicals said she was in otherwise good health. It was only after she died that I learned of the link between pancreatic cancer and obesity.

[KBeee]

My wife gained a lot of weight over the years, I never said a peep either since she was still beautiful and all her physicals said she was in otherwise good health. It was only after she died that I learned of the link between pancreatic cancer and obesity.

Oh @Colored Guy, I am so sorry to hear it.

[tay943]

I recently expressed the desire to get a small traditional style crystal tattooed on my chest, pretty much right in between the 'girls' to my boyfriend, and he scrunched his face up at the idea. When we met I already had two on my thigh, and recently got another above my ankle that I had planned since before we started dating. I have always planned to keep getting tattooed, and never really considered his opinion before when it came to getting them (it is a relatively new relationship and I have only recently begun to discuss ideas with him). I feel the way that others who have posted on the subject do, that while I retain ownership of my body if its something he's going to hate looking at I don't want to cause a rift, but at the same time its something I really wanted to di, even before I met him.

Just updating to say that I decided to go with it. I had an unhealthy relationship with my ex in which I would make every personal decision about my appearence or otherwise based on his approval and opinion, and I lost a lof my self-respect (and independance) that way. This is something I have made changes to ever since, and while the dymanic had definetly changed for the better with my current partner, I decided that I really didn't need his approval for something I really wanted. In talking to him, I realised that he was a little nervous about the change, but I have changed things about my appearence since we've been together that he has been suprised about, but quickly loved. So, in short, I got my crystal, and he will still love me because I am the exact same personbas before (with a little more colour).

@Coloredguy just adding to say that I'm sorry for what happened.

[melt]

my girlfriend has no tattoos and doesn't plan to get any but thinks mine are sexy. hasn't been a big deal for us

[six times seven]

I have been lurking this place for a bit, and finally registered to post in this thread.

My boyfriend of 4 years has no tattoos, and absolutely no interest in getting any. I am currently working on a full sleeve and have a few other tattoos, and have a goal of pretty heavy coverage. He likes my tattoos, and appreciates good ones, and has no issues whatsoever with me going so far as to having a full suit.

This isn't really much of a problem, since we are already somewhat opposites in a lot of ways. He is an accountant, i'm a designer and am taking classes for animation. I am the daring one, he is the cautious one. i think tattoos just fall onto my side of the relationship. with us, it works.

that being said, I HATE IT sometimes. I can talk for hours and hours about a certain artist, or an idea I have, or just a love for a certain style, and he has nothing to say back. I save pennies for large work while he saves up for a house. He is understanding about the art/tattoo world, but he just doesn't get it. Just like when I draw something, he appreciates it, but it just doesn't feel like we are connected when I am creating art, or getting tattooed. I wouldn't want him to ever be there with me getting tattooed, and he does not ever want to be either. It would be a waste of time. It is incredibly frustrating not being able to really share my passion and feel like he understands my passions. this is not his fault by any means, it is just the way it is. and is probably the reason i look to things like online forums about tattoos .....

I am also very attracted to heavily tattooed guys, which he knows, but its not necessary for me. I do wonder that as I get more and more into the community and get more and more tattoos, that we may drift apart. But i doubt it. we don't share all of the same passions but I guess that is not mandatory to be in a happy and healthy long term relationship. I kind of like being the heavily tattooed one.

phew. nice to get that off my chest. thanks.

[Hogrider]

Good. luck. One thing I've learned is that a non-artist will never understand an artist. I'm a musician and my wife is an artist and it works out great. My last wife, a bean counter, not so much. They may tolerate or accept, but they will never understand.

I have been lurking this place for a bit, and finally registered to post in this thread.

My boyfriend of 4 years has no tattoos, and absolutely no interest in getting any. I am currently working on a full sleeve and have a few other tattoos, and have a goal of pretty heavy coverage. He likes my tattoos, and appreciates good ones, and has no issues whatsoever with me going so far as to having a full suit.

This isn't really much of a problem, since we are already somewhat opposites in a lot of ways. He is an accountant, i'm a designer and am taking classes for animation. I am the daring one, he is the cautious one. i think tattoos just fall onto my side of the relationship. with us, it works.

that being said, I HATE IT sometimes. I can talk for hours and hours about a certain artist, or an idea I have, or just a love for a certain style, and he has nothing to say back. I save pennies for large work while he saves up for a house. He is understanding about the art/tattoo world, but he just doesn't get it. Just like when I draw something, he appreciates it, but it just doesn't feel like we are connected when I am creating art, or getting tattooed. I wouldn't want him to ever be there with me getting tattooed, and he does not ever want to be either. It would be a waste of time. It is incredibly frustrating not being able to really share my passion and feel like he understands my passions. this is not his fault by any means, it is just the way it is. and is probably the reason i look to things like online forums about tattoos .....

I am also very attracted to heavily tattooed guys, which he knows, but its not necessary for me. I do wonder that as I get more and more into the community and get more and more tattoos, that we may drift apart. But i doubt it. we don't share all of the same passions but I guess that is not mandatory to be in a happy and healthy long term relationship. I kind of like being the heavily tattooed one.

phew. nice to get that off my chest. thanks.

[tay943]

@six times seven That is the beauty of this forum, I don't really know anyone in person who is into good tattoos, or even art in general, but here you can feel like people really understand what you have to contribute. My boyfriend is indifferent to tattoos - thinks he might get one one day, but doesn't really enjoy traditional styles - my advice would be to find other things you have in common, and talk about those together :).