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i know you guys have em, so lets hear em.

hell they dont even have to be apprenticeship stories. just crap youve witnessed or put up with at a shop.

i apprenticed under this methed out biker fellow that claimed to be related to charles manson. he did look like him and was a nut job just like him as well. i didnt even know about meth til i started working there. he once decided to teach this guy to tattoo in exchange for this huuuuge rock of meth that he brought with him from kansas city. then he figured it would be a good idea to cut it and start sellin it out of the shop. kansas city guy is now dead.

after a few day binge, bossman was doing an american flag on this truck driver. he outlined it, shaded in the blue where the stars are then proceeded to fill in the red stripes. he did the first two stripes, then onto the third. while doing the third, he started going down as opposed to across. i was watching him do this tattoo but was very much a newbie. i didnt say anything figuring he knew what he was doing. he did a little more then tells ol dawg "lets take a break, you can go outside and have a smoke" he does and bossman starts walking to the back of the shop. i follow. then he says,

"holy shit dude, i just fell asleep doing that tattoo!" he did a couple of bumps and downed a mountain dew.

came back to the tattoo and proceeded to black shade the shit out of it! truck driver never questioned him and left a happy customer.

to me it was just another day in the shop.

there are tons more stories, but lets hear somebody elses.

Dean and Scott, i KNOW you got some!!

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ok heres another about the same dude....

there was a convention in dallas a long time ago. he went down along with a few other dudes from the shop. i did not go. the bossman made a shitload of money i guess. he decided to treat all the dudes to hookers. apparentely they were all "really fucking hot"

sooooo they come back from the show. bossman humps his girlfriend. he also was humpin this other hang around broad too. threw one in her. guess what? that hooker had the clap and gave it to bossman who in turn gave it to the other two not so lovely ladies in his life.

that musta been one awkward drive to the free clinic.

girlfriend stayed with bossman. actually they eventually got married. or so ive heard.

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  • 2 weeks later...
I apprenticed under a guy for a while that had a reputation for being unreasonably aggressive. That said, I was making needles one night, and he came in, dissatisfied with the speed I was making needles, pulled a gun on me for it. It was awesome.

hahaha oh man, that is both hilarious and wro-nope, just hilarious!

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I have heard some horror stories from the older guys, but it seems like now-a-days apprentices don't get hassled as much. Though, at my friend's shop here in Berkeley, it's the official apprentice "duty" to clean the bum shit out of the driveway. They once left a chocolate candy bar out there in the sun to melt a little and sent him out after it bring and early one day.

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ok one more....

bossman and girlfriend got married....

years later a fellow tattooer sent me a link to their local newspaper. this couple lived in that city as well. well they got married and then divorced. bossman decided that she had did him so wrong that he should find somebody to kill her. he asked around, i guess, and found somebody for the job. they agreed that bossman would pay the hitman a pound of meth to kill this woman. they shook hands blah blah blah. turns out the hitman was an undercover cop. off to jail AGAIN for him.

he is out of jail now though. opened up a tattoo shop in the mall and sells SULLEN and AFFLICTION t shirts as well as doing shitty tattoos.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hahaha! My apprenticeship was a general horror show. I'm holding out because I ain't got much nice to say about it. I did get to tattoo out of my kitchen for a while, and that was pretty hilarious. Not having a table to tattoo on so doing chest pieces on the floor... oh god. Funny in my head but not so funny when I start typing it out.

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yeah i hate to admit it but i had a pretty easy apprenticeship...just was a shop bitch for a long time... no major hazing or anything crazy to speak of. Some friends of ours at another shop in town just destroy their apprentices. tattoo dicks all over them, make them suffer on the regular. pretty funny stuff. glad it's not me...hah

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ok so it's not unknown i got my apprenticeship with a guy named miller cotton some say before he died he was a different man. this i cant say but i do know he liked speed rattle snakes and stun guns.. you can guess how this goes. have you ever been stun gunned in the nutts? its awesome. i would be sitting at the the desk making needles for two tattoo shops and then bammmmmmo i would be on the ground needles everywhere floping around screaming like a little girl while he laughed at me.. cant say i miss him but a gratefull he gave me a job. oh and he would stab me with used needles...fuck....

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if i fouled up (i.e. didnt do something "fast enough) i got "DAS BOOT." Das Boot was an oversized steel toed Doc Marten tall boot that fir over every artist's shoe. I got kicked in the taint in the middle of the shop. Regularly. Most of the time for no reason other than (their) boredome.

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MsRad...

The kook had an actual wolf as a pet. He lived on a small hobby farm. He kept the wolf there and he'd occasionally get loose and eat one of the chickens or ducks.

I was in the back making needles and heard the door chimes. I went out to help the customer. I get out to the counter and the wolf was standing right in front of me. It was lookin in my direction but it almost looked like he was looking "through" me. It was an eerie ass feeling. I froze in my tracks and then see bossman and his trashy ass girl in the window laughing at me. The wolf then commenced to mark his territory all over the shop. Wolf piss smells sooooo fucking bad!

He said he was living in Denver at the time and scoped out a wolf mother for a while. She had pups and went out looking for food. He took his chance and went into the den and took a pup. At least that's the story he told me.

Don't know if any of you have ever been close to a wolf but they are intense animals. Supper tall and extremely intelligent. It did not feel good to be that close to ol Four Socks

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MsRad...

The kook had an actual wolf as a pet. He lived on a small hobby farm. He kept the wolf there and he'd occasionally get loose and eat one of the chickens or ducks.

I was in the back making needles and heard the door chimes. I went out to help the customer. I get out to the counter and the wolf was standing right in front of me. It was lookin in my direction but it almost looked like he was looking "through" me. It was an eerie ass feeling. I froze in my tracks and then see bossman and his trashy ass girl in the window laughing at me. The wolf then commenced to mark his territory all over the shop. Wolf piss smells sooooo fucking bad!

He said he was living in Denver at the time and scoped out a wolf mother for a while. She had pups and went out looking for food. He took his chance and went into the den and took a pup. At least that's the story he told me.

Don't know if any of you have ever been close to a wolf but they are intense animals. Supper tall and extremely intelligent. It did not feel good to be that close to ol Four Socks

please, call me Robin.

i visited a wolf sanctuary this summer up in Washington where you get fairly close (a few feet) away from the wolves. granted, there are obviously fences separating you. i don't remember it smelling too bad, but i'm also not surprised considering their diet.

i really love wolves, but they don't belong as pets (and i'm not just saying that as a vegan), and i could understand why you would be scared. i would've been too. more than anything, i was just curious.

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