Telling My Parents

[Jnvlv]

So I have three tattoos and my parents don't know about any of them. I obviously didn't need my parents' permission to get them but I recently asked my mother if she'd be mad if I got a tattoo.

She went through this whole this about damaging myself and how I did it with my piercings, etc. I know she has the right to worry about infection, disease that COULD happen, etc but I went to clean, relaible and talented artists. Not some random place in an alley way

I guess I am just worried about it. They are coming out here to AZ from CT at the end of the month and I suppose I should tell them now over the phone as opposed to a surprise in person and possibly ruining their vacation right? I just don't want my mom's guilt trip to get to me but I really do respect and love my parents. I hate making them upset and disappointed in me but I do what I like and I am happy and don't regret it.

I don't think they will DISOWN me but maybe cut me off from some things they are still kinda helping me out with. BTW I paid for all these tattoos with my money that I earned at my current job

[bugxjuice]

http://www.lastsparrowtattoo.com/forum/crazy-tattoo-stories/549-dropping-bomb-how-your-parents-found-out-about-your-first-tattoo.html

[Mick Weder]

Haha! takes me back to when I got my first. All of 17 and was living with my GF at the time. Told my mum over the phone. She said never show her, ever!

2 hours later she's dropping over "kitchen stuff", so I was wearing a shirt. Just before she left she said "fuck it!, show me" so I did. She cried, I laughed.

It's funny ya know, I'm now 45, still dropping in ink and suited up. My mum now lives with me & my family...and she still hates them, still says "don't you think enough is enough"? I still laugh, at least she doesn't cry anymore.

I don't have to explain to anyone why I get tattooed. I love me mum too, but either people get it, or they don't, and if they don't I don't try too hard in convincing them otherwise. She'll just learn to live with them.

Yeah, tell her over the phone and don't make a big thing out of it. The more comfortable you are in your own skin, the more others are too if that makes sense.

Good luck.

[Jnvlv]

I don't know

I read a lot of those stories in the drop the bomb thread (btw I am NOT going through 184 pages :p) and a lot of parents seemed to be quite OK after and everything. I just have a feeling it won't be like that with my parents. It may be bad at first but then they might never really talk about it again, like with my piercings

That phone convo I had with my mom really scared me though. I might call and tell my dad first or something. He is less judgmental and not a guilt tripper

[Johannes]

my mom did not like it. i did not care since it's my body and my choice. if yer parents don't like it, it's theirs problem....

[motsimus]

it bums me out when I hear of parents being disappointed about their kids getting tattoos when there is so much worst things they could be doing, my parents don't understand the whole tattoo thing but my dad drove me to get my first tattoo and still says to me "are you really getting another one?" But I know he enjoys the fact that I'm at least passionate about something.anyway you should just tell them they'll have to understand

rant over I'm drunk

[iowagirl]

How old are you, Jnvlv?

We're going to be getting more work done soon and will be needing my parents to watch the kids overnight so we can travel. They're not going to be happy and probably will have something to say about it. However-we're 39 years old, and I'm long past worrying if my parents will approve of my decisions.

Don't give them the power of making decisions or forcing guilt on you-take it upon yourself to control your own life, put the parent shield up and let the guilt hit it and fall away.

[HaydenRose]

I think if your parents are willing to travel from CT to AZ just to see you, you've got a good pair and will probably continue loving you no matter how they feel about tattoos/your tattoos. Chin-up and take the plunge. Even if they're not on board yet, they may soften to the idea down the road.

[Synesthesia]

I guess it depends on where the tattoos are and what kind of relationship you want with your parents. If they can be easily hidden, there's no pressure to tell them now or never, unless you really want to be open and honest about everything (even things that aren't much of their concern). My parents have surprised me about their opinions on me getting pierced and tattooed. Of course they hate everything at first, but they come around pretty fast. Things have actually gotten easier the more work I have done, whereas I expected it to be more of a fight the more I had done. It seems to be that way for most people on these boards: it's harder to take the first plunge, and everything afterwards goes a lot smoother.

[Jnvlv]

I am 24 years old and yes I could be addicted to drugs or something but I am not.

I have a job and pay my bills and don't party or anything like that so there ARE FAR WORSE things I could be doing with my time and money.

I guess my arm tattoo would be the most obvious one. Someone told me to just tell them about my arm tattoo. I guess it makes sense to just introduce them to one at a time and not 3 at once, may be too much. It's not like I am gonna be naked or shirtless around them while they are here. Although the one on my shoulder blade is pretty symbolic of family but I think one for now is best to reveal to them.

[TrixieFaux]

How about letting them know in an e-mail, giving it a chance to sink in a bit before having to see or talk to them in person? I got my first tattoo at 22 and my mom hated it. I'm 44 now, still getting tattoos, and my mom still hates them and tries to argue with me about it. I argue a little and laugh it off. She loves me anyway and I love her anyway! I post my tattoos on facebook. At first I was blocking my mom from seeing them (I figured I'd protect her from having to see something that would upset her) but now I don't block her because I figure maybe it will desensitize her. Hasn't worked yet, oh well. My dad, on the other hand, is very supportive of anything I do and thinks my tattoos are cool. Yay dad!

[Tatspiration]

coming out of the tattoo closet! everyone has to do it eventually

[Jnvlv]

Gonna do it this week

I'll let you guys know how it goes

[Jnvlv]

So I called and spoke to my dad and told him

I only mentioned 1 tattoo-I didn't say what it was or where, he didn't seem to care about that

He was devastated and so was my mother.

I guess her argument is that they have supported me and I used "their" money for tattoos, piercings and a name change-all untrue

My dad is more concerned about health, which is understandable

I guess I'll show them the arm one when they come out since it would be the easiest to show and hardest to hide. I don't think it's a good time yet to mention the back tattoos or the one coming up in March, which I am not going to cancel

[deadsp0t]

So I called and spoke to my dad and told him I only mentioned 1 tattoo-I didn't say what it was or where' date=' he didn't seem to care about that He was devastated and so was my mother. I guess her argument is that they have supported me and I used "their" money for tattoos, piercings and a name change-all untrue My dad is more concerned about health, which is understandable I guess I'll show them the arm one when they come out since it would be the easiest to show and hardest to hide. I don't think it's a good time yet to mention the back tattoos or the one coming up in March, which I am not going to cancel[/quote']

Any time all someone can talk about is 'the money you spent' or where it came from, I instantly stop listening and don't give any of their arguments validation.. It's simple in terms of money.. It's just money, everything you do costs money and you can't take it with you.

[Cork]

The money argument is so overused.

[Jnvlv]

I am over it and I hope they can be too

I have worse things to worry about now than their opinion on tattoos

[Reyeslv]

@Jnvlv there are worse things you could be into. If tattoos are your only "sin" they will get over it.

A point concerning your parent's side, if you are in school or some how they are helping out. The "their money" issue is actually real. While on another person's payroll there are certain rules to abide by. If they are footing the bill and you know they wouldn't appreciate tattoos then you should have waited until you're off the payroll. Not judging but as a parent and a guy with tattoos I see both sides. Also, I will NOT be happy if one of my kids turns 18 and thinks I'm OK with them getting tattoos. Establish your life and then do what you want and ensure it fits your lifestyle/profession.

[Jnvlv]

@Jnvlv there are worse things you could be into. If tattoos are your only "sin" they will get over it.

A point concerning your parent's side, if you are in school or some how they are helping out. The "their money" issue is actually real. While on another person's payroll there are certain rules to abide by. If they are footing the bill and you know they wouldn't appreciate tattoos then you should have waited until you're off the payroll. Not judging but as a parent and a guy with tattoos I see both sides. Also, I will NOT be happy if one of my kids turns 18 and thinks I'm OK with them getting tattoos. Establish your life and then do what you want and ensure it fits your lifestyle/profession.

Well of course I agree with you

I have been out of school since 2011 and have been paying my own things for a while now. I don't get any allowance or anything so these tattoos have been funded by my job

[heathenist]

Not judging at all, but it kinda blows my mind how sensitive people are to stuff like this. I never once considered not telling my parents, even though I was pretty sure at least my dad wouldn't approve. My mom digs all of them, but my dad doesn't care for them. The thing is, I could give two fucks if either one of them approve or not. Maybe I'm spoiled, but are there really parents out there who would stop talking to their own kids because they got tattooed? My dad might be an asshole about it every once and a while, but he can also be an asshole about religion and politics and we still get along just fine. Your parents probably aren't going to agree or love every decision you make in life, I don't think they are really supposed to, but when it comes to things like religion, politics, tattoos, etc. those are things that should be pretty easy for them to get over.

Also @Jnvlv you should check out Immaculate Tattoo in Mesa. I just got tattooed by the owner Aaron Coleman, and he is a great artist and a super nice dude. That entire shop is just amazing. Immaculate Tattoo - Home

[Bexter]

yeah, parents are weird. My mum just seems to like to hate on anyone who isn't her. I was on my first and possibly only family holiday this year, and to keep the peace I spent the whole time biting my lip and quietly simmering inside at things my mum was saying about various people.

One conversation was particularly ridiculous. She was saying how she doesn't like tattoos and how she especially doesn't understand brides with tattoos who get married in a white wedding dress. "The white is supposed to represent purity" coming from my mum who got married in white at her second wedding after having 2 kids... Also, what has purity got to do with tattoos, and who is really actually "pure" who gets married these days. What has it got to do with anything?!!!

Luckily, my (younger) brother is already covered in tattoos so I'm safe (ish) when I let them know. Still not looking forward to it. And my Nan will be disappointed, but her son (My uncle) has 2 full sleeves so she's used to it. I reckon he'll be stoked.

[TrixieFaux]

yeah, parents are weird. My mum just seems to like to hate on anyone who isn't her. I was on my first and possibly only family holiday this year, and to keep the peace I spent the whole time biting my lip and quietly simmering inside at things my mum was saying about various people.

One conversation was particularly ridiculous. She was saying how she doesn't like tattoos and how she especially doesn't understand brides with tattoos who get married in a white wedding dress. "The white is supposed to represent purity" coming from my mum who got married in white at her second wedding after having 2 kids... Also, what has purity got to do with tattoos, and who is really actually "pure" who gets married these days. What has it got to do with anything?!!!

Luckily, my (younger) brother is already covered in tattoos so I'm safe (ish) when I let them know. Still not looking forward to it. And my Nan will be disappointed, but her son (My uncle) has 2 full sleeves so she's used to it. I reckon he'll be stoked.

My mom has said similar things. It's frustrating. How someone who is otherwise smart, funny, a good mom... can be so judgmental based on choices adults make for their own skin! Not sure how to get that through her head, or if it's possible. Back in the 80s when I was a teenager, before I had any tattoos, my mom was embarrassed being with me in public because of my black mohawk, and she said I dressed "like a bag lady". Now she likes my hair but I have tattoos, the horror. Shallow.

I love the look of tattoos with a white wedding dress. Then again, black wedding dresses are cool, too. What-EVER! :D

[keepcalm]

People whose parents / loved ones didn't have strong negative reactions to their tattoos are lucky. It can be really hard.

[TaeTae]

Yeah, I feel for you guys having trouble with your parents, my mother paid for part of my sleeve as a birthday gift. When I told her I want a full body suit one day, she was like ' that's cool, if that's what you want'.

[Jnvlv]

Not judging at all, but it kinda blows my mind how sensitive people are to stuff like this. I never once considered not telling my parents, even though I was pretty sure at least my dad wouldn't approve. My mom digs all of them, but my dad doesn't care for them. The thing is, I could give two fucks if either one of them approve or not. Maybe I'm spoiled, but are there really parents out there who would stop talking to their own kids because they got tattooed? My dad might be an asshole about it every once and a while, but he can also be an asshole about religion and politics and we still get along just fine. Your parents probably aren't going to agree or love every decision you make in life, I don't think they are really supposed to, but when it comes to things like religion, politics, tattoos, etc. those are things that should be pretty easy for them to get over.

Also @Jnvlv you should check out Immaculate Tattoo in Mesa. I just got tattooed by the owner Aaron Coleman, and he is a great artist and a super nice dude. That entire shop is just amazing. Immaculate Tattoo - Home

Yeah I know what you mean, I think they are just tired of all that I have done and now a tattoo

Can't even imagine when they find out I have 3 and one more coming which is with Aaron Coleman next month!!

I don't seek their approval I just don't like having too much awkwardness Cuz they will probably sot me down and give this talk snd thefe isn't really anything more I can say. I guess there is more to it as well