Plainskins say the darndest things...

[Brock Varty]

Okay @SStu I bet you wouldn't get something from that Born Weird book. I DARE you to.

Did I do that right, guys?

Mods...if @SStu doesn't post a picture of something from Born Weird in the next couple weeks...BAN HIS ASS.

[SStu]

Okay @SStu I bet you wouldn't get something from that Born Weird book. I DARE you to.

Perfect excuse to buy that book, thanks. :)

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Mods...if @SStu doesn't post a picture of something from Born Weird in the next couple weeks...BAN HIS ASS.

TWO WEEKS!!???

Better just go ahead and drop that hammer, then.

[Brock Varty]

Perfect excuse to buy that book, thanks. :)

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O

TWO WEEKS!!???

Better just go ahead and drop that hammer, then.

Ok...ok...that is a bit short. Lets just say that you are now obligated!

[exume]

Speaking of Born Weird, I tried to go to @sboyer 's website and it seems to be down, anybody know if they Yellow Beak Press is still running? I would like to get a copy of the Zeis book at some point.

BW is awesome though, everyone should check it out.

[SStu]

Speaking of Born Weird, I tried to go to @sboyer 's website and it seems to be down, anybody know if they Yellow Beak Press is still running?

Just had the same problem myself. I left them a message on their facebook page about their web page being down . . .

[slayer9019]

Can't make this shit up. Two recent conversations from the bar.

Number One!

Me: What're you up to tonight?

Girl: Well I supposed to get tattooed but my tattoo artists rejected me!

Me: What?! What happened?

Girl: (Pulls out a piece of paper with a crazy long math/physics equation and begins to unfold to show me.) Well, I was supposed to get this on my finger, but--

Me: (Bursts out laughing) Yeah, that ain't going on your finger...

Girl: He laughed at me, too!

Me: Yeah. Sorry to laugh, it's just so long you won't be able to get it that small and still see what it is. What about on your arm, or wrapping around your wrist?

Girl: Yeah, that's what he suggested, too. Especially because it's my only tattoo or whatever. But I'm a programmer and I want to look at it while I'm working at the keyboard. He also suggested that I shouldn't get it in white.

Me: White.. ink?

Girl: Yeah. Because it's for me. And I don't want anyone else to just be able to see it like that.

Me: Sounds like maybe you should think about it some more..

After that initial talk we had a pretty cool conversation about the equation and the dual reality somethingorother it pertains to. She was a super smart person in that realm for sure. I left her with the suggestion of getting a cat in a box as a much cooler design (part of this theory about a cat being in a box with the lid closed and there being two realities..) but she was pretty set on the equation.

Number Two!

The set up here.. it was late, this chick was at the bar for a while so obviously a little drunk.

Girl: Hey, you get your tattoos here?

Me: Yeah, mostly, at this point kind of all over.

Girl: Where should I go?

Me: Hard to go wrong in this neighborhood, Three kings, Eight of Swords, Adorned, Saved...

Girl: Are they open?

Me: When...?

Girl: Now.

Me: It's almost two in the morning -- no shops are open right now.

Girl: Really? None??

Me: You could go into the city and check out West 4th St. but I really encourage you to not do that.

Girl: So.. there are no tattoo shops open in Brooklyn right now is what you're telling me.

Me: That's what I'm telling you.

Girl: (Takes her drinks that I made her and begins to walk away.) Fuck this borough.

And I thought that would be the end of it! She came back and wanted to talk some more.

Girl: So, it says XXSHOPXX is right off of XXSTREETXX -- is that close by?

Me: It's not far but I'm telling you it's not open. Why don't you just wait?

Girl: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. My friend over there is only in town tonight and we won't be in the same city again for like maybe a couple years.

Me: Well that might work better, you can both get great tattoos in your respective cities and they'll probably be way better than trying to get it in at like 2 AM. You could get something awesome!

Girl: Nope, you don't get what I'm saying.

Me: (Past the point of patience and I can't walk away because I'm making them another round of drinks.) It sounds like you probably shouldn't get tattooed. It sounds like a bad idea is what I think you're saying.

Girl: Well aren't they all?

Me: I'm sorry..?

Girl: All of this (pointing to my arms) -- you can't tell me any of this is actually a good idea.

Me: Did you really just say that?

Girl: Well, I mean, come on.. when you're 90. They're going to look like shit.

Me: No, they're going to look awesome and I'm going to be an awesome 90 yr old with tattoos that I didn't get at fucking two in the morning. This is going to be your last round, I'll have the server bring your check over and you can still make it over to West 4th, the cab ride shouldn't be much more than $20!

Girl: Whatever.

Me: Have a good night! Good luck!

Hope I'm not sounding like too much of an asshole.. My bar persona is always ten thousand times nicer than my real life demeanor but this second girl really pushed it. I'll put up with a lot of idiots and I know how to handle plenty of bullshit but when you outright insult me in my own bar..? You're done. I hope she went and got tattooed.. everyone gets the tattoo they deserve!

Bahahaha. Damn how I wish I was there for that one! Although I would have probably offered to tattoo her right there in the bar, just to see what she would say.

Also now I'm kinda thinking that a Schrodinger's cat tattoo would be pretty fun. (also a ton more fun than getting an equation!).

@gougetheeyes PRECIOUS!! Thanks for sharing those man. I thought you handled them both very politely. I on the other hand just got torn a new asshole by a good friend for telling his new girlfriend exactly what I thought of her "tribal cat with tiny footprints" tattoo idea. I'm usually very polite and careful not to offend in situasions like that, but I was way too drunk to sugercoat it at the time it was brought it up.

Yea pulled one of those myself before. Woops, the whiskey made the comment come out a little quicker

[semele]

One of the cashiers at my favorite local pho place asked me how many hours my tattoos had taken, and how much I thought I had left. So I gave her my vague estimate and she said, "But that's like ten whole days. ...Can you shower with those on?" What?

[Johannes]

a couple of days ago, some random douche, i mean dude at a local bar asked why i have so many skulls tattooed on me. i simply told him i love death and all dead things and that i'd wish everyone and everything was dead. he left me alone.

[else]

One of the cashiers at my favorite local pho place asked me how many hours my tattoos had taken, and how much I thought I had left.

So bizarrre!! I was getting a pedicure yesterday and the guy asked me the exact same questions (except for the shower part!)

[carmen1979]

These are all awesome. My plain skin husband (I don't really like that phrase either, but he won't care if I use it) now even says to people, when they ask why I have a piranha on my arm.."because it's awesome!". Gotta love a non tattooed person who gets it.

[BrookR70]

I keep getting "but it's for life! (repeated 100 times)" remark from my wife...as if that thought had never dawned on me. Because, you know, I can be a little slow at times and perhaps the concept was completely above my head.

So my usual response is "well, it's not really for life because I've already lived over half my life and will only be around for another 22 years because I plan on dying at age 65."

...and then silence.

[Therinx]

"Does your mother know you have those?" (I'm 47 years old btw)

Answer: "My mother's dead ma'am. Her skull is on my back." (not really, but i felt like messing with her) :D

[dooktruck]

my bro talking to my grandma recently

she lifts up his sleeve and sees some of his tattoos and then just puts the sleeve down and goes ooooohhhhhhh

then she asks a whole bunch of questions one of which is

grandma: "what do you do if you decide you don't like them"

bro: well you can get them lasered off

grandma:"have you looked into how much that would cost"

bro: nah i'll just keep em or you just get em covered up with a different tattoo

grandma: "oh no don't do that"

then she asked how much they cost and he started to tell her and i was thinking stfu don't tell her that

it brought the lulz

[AverageJer]

totally worth enduring that question for good pho

[heathenist]

Today in the grocery store I ran into an older lady who gave me a backhanded compliment, she asked to look at my tattoos and said "I don't care much for tattoos but I'm an artist so I can appreciate the art." She was trying to be nice I guess. Unrelated to tattoos but she went on to tell me about all of her sons who are all doctors from ivy league schools and when she asked where me and my girlfriend got our master's degrees she says "oh well that's okay, they don't all have to be from the top places" despite the fact that the school is pretty respectable in our fields.

[joakim urma]

My aunts man once asked me how much I paid for my elbow/lower arm tattoo. I told him and he was speechless for a while. Then he informed me that I could have gotten a moped for that price. I was 26 years old at the time.

[TrixieFaux]

Today in the grocery store I ran into an older lady who gave me a backhanded compliment, she asked to look at my tattoos and said "I don't care much for tattoos but I'm an artist so I can appreciate the art." She was trying to be nice I guess. Unrelated to tattoos but she went on to tell me about all of her sons who are all doctors from ivy league schools and when she asked where me and my girlfriend got our master's degrees she says "oh well that's okay, they don't all have to be from the top places" despite the fact that the school is pretty respectable in our fields.

How rude on both topics. Sounds like the type of person who thinks she's being open-minded and polite without even realizing she's being rude. Why even say "I don't care for tattoos" to a complete stranger with tattoos as if you care what her opinion on it is?

[heathenist]

How rude on both topics. Sounds like the type of person who thinks she's being open-minded and polite without even realizing she's being rude. Why even say "I don't care for tattoos" to a complete stranger with tattoos as if you care what her opinion on it is?

Yeah, it was an odd encounter, like you said, I don't really give a shit and she was actually trying to be nice, she just sucked at it. She was also one of those people who lives vicariously through other people around her, for instance, she kept talking about all the ivy league schools her family went to, how her friend was a famous artist, etc., but never mentioned anything about herself.

[SnowyPlover]

Backhanded compliments are the worst. Heathenist, I'm glad you don't have to ever see that woman again.

I had the same issue with my visiting mil who said "I'm an artist so I can appreciate the art, it's beautiful. It's just too bad it's on you forever". I gave her a couple of gentle warnings, but the third time, I called her on it, saying it's not a compliment if it comes with a snide criticism and if she would like to continue to enjoy eating the dinners that the arms which are attached to the tattoos make then she should keep it to herself. It only half happened once more and all I said was "you're doing it" and it stopped and did not happen again.

I've also heard "At least you will be easily identifiable if something terrible happens to you".

[NERD RAGE]

Unrelated to tattoos but she went on to tell me about all of her sons who are all doctors from ivy league schools and when she asked where me and my girlfriend got our master's degrees she says "oh well that's okay, they don't all have to be from the top places" despite the fact that the school is pretty respectable in our fields.

This is way worse than her tattoo comment. I mean not caring for tattoos is still a common enough sentiment and the occasional disapproval is part of the fun (for me at least). But this comment is just dickish for no other reason than trying to show how much better her sons are, and therefore she is, than you.

[tatB]

"I'm an artist so...."

douchiest way to start a sentence?

[blujax01]

...

Also now I'm kinda thinking that a Schrodinger's cat tattoo would be pretty fun. (also a ton more fun than getting an equation!).

You do know all you can see of the cat is a closed box, right?

[cltattooing]

"I'm an artist so...."

douchiest way to start a sentence?

pretty much... gross.

Like unless that opening is followed by "I buy a lot of paint"

[Colored Guy]

I had some old bat of a supermarket cashier call my peony a rose, but I think she wanted to get into my pants.

Rob

[Shaun1105]

A coworker once asked me: "aren't you afraid of what will happen in hell?" I asked for some clarification on this and he said " I was taught that what you have tattooed on you will be what you're tortured by in hell".

At the time I had only an anchor and a flaming lantern, which I guess you could come up with some pretty inventive torture ideas with. I know some Christians are quite against tattoos, but that's some superstitious craziness right there (and I'm a christian!).