Plainskins say the darndest things...

[TrixieFaux]

not sure if a mod can change the thread title so the thread can continue as intended (to be funny, and allow us to vent) without bothering people so much every time they see the title?! It could just be called "funny shit people say" or something.

@slayer9019, @hogg?

[Tight-Lines]

People constantly ask "What do they symbolize?"

First off, depending on which piece you ask about I will give you a straight answer. But most of the time, I just make stuff up about what they mean to simplify the conversation. 2nd, some people seem amazed when I say they don't mean anything. I am pretty sure the people who are blown away a tattoo doesn't have any meaning are the ones who watch inkmasters for the stories behind the tattoos.

[AverageJer]

People constantly ask "What do they symbolize?"

people seem amazed when I say they don't mean anything.

I think the "meaning" issue is a real barrier for people when it comes to getting tattoos. At least it was for me. Before I had any tattoos I kind of didn't bother because I didn't know what I would get that would have enough meaning to have it written into my skin. My first tattoo was about my family a couple of years after the birth of my daughter. With my next few tattoos I was still kind of over thinking it and coming up with wild stories to tell myself about why what I wanted was a good idea. Now that I am more comfortable with tattoos in general (I've realized that nothing horrible has happened) I am more able to find enough meaning in just thinking it's cool.

[Tight-Lines]

I am more able to find enough meaning in just thinking it's cool.

I agree. Eagles, wolves and badass roses need to explanation other than "Because its cool".

[Pleadco]

My wife, "why suikoden?" Me, "because it's awesome!"

[Hospitelli]

A recent conversation with a "non-tattooed being" friend of mine;

Friend: Why in the world would you get a severed head tattooed on your chest?

Me: You're asking the wrong question. Why wouldn't I get a severed head tattooed on my chest?

I also get asked what my tattoos symbolize/mean and a majority of people when I tell them that they have no meaning tend to be shocked. How can you put something on your body and not have it mean anything? I blame that way of thinking towards tattoos solely on Miami Ink where everyone had some crazy story to go with why they are getting it done and what it means to them just for the sake of good television, when in reality this isn't the case. Some people just love the imagery and tattoos in general.

[Delicious]

Saw this on reddit, by Becca at The End is Near, NYC.

[ATTACH]9310[/ATTACH]

this is amazing

[Graeme]

People constantly ask "What do they symbolize?"

First off, depending on which piece you ask about I will give you a straight answer. But most of the time, I just make stuff up about what they mean to simplify the conversation. 2nd, some people seem amazed when I say they don't mean anything. I am pretty sure the people who are blown away a tattoo doesn't have any meaning are the ones who watch inkmasters for the stories behind the tattoos.

I don't have a problem with tattoos meaning things, I just hate the way how most people who want "meaningful" tattoos can only think of meaning in the most heavy-handed and literal way. For example, I have a swallow that I got on my birthday a couple of years ago because I was feeling pretty bummed because it was my birthday and I was feeling sorry for myself about aging or whatever. My wife got the same flash from a different artist a couple of weeks later around her birthday. When I think about that tattoo I remember having a super fun time getting it, I remember how my wife got hers done on a miserable snowy day and how we went out for poutine afterwards, etc., and the same goes for all my tattoos (albeit I don't have a lot of tattoos and I haven't been getting them for so long so maybe the details and memories of getting those tattoos is going to become less distinct over time). So those tattoos have a huge amount of meaning and significance for us, exactly none of which has to do with swallows.

[heathenist]

Honestly, questions from non-tattooed people don't really bother me that much, it's pretty easy to just say "No, none of them really have any deep meanings other than I thought they looked cool". However, what bothers me more, is when people with bad tattoos try to show them off to me, and I'm supposed to sit there and pretend that their shitty tattoos are cool as they a) start removing clothing to show them to me, or b)start flipping through their phone to show me pictures of them.

[blujax01]

I heard the term "plainskins" in the 90's and it probably wasn't original then. My wife gave me Hell for using it, too. She was right. Tattoo or not tattoo are both valid choices.

But, the funny shit they say? I was showing a tat to a friend at work and a manager walked up and (like he was invited to the conversation), observed: "You know what I call tattoos? I call 'em a permanent reminder of temporary insanity. HAR-HAR-HAR!!!" and trotted off so happy with his little joke.

[KegRN]

HAHA, I would think it would be the opposite, people WITH tattoos having the rawhides.

Instead of plainskin, my buddy calls them Rawhides. :p

[Wedge]

I'd say I've been getting more "meaning" questions the more tattoos I get. People seem surprised when I proudly say that not all of my tattoos have meanings with one person asking, "but aren't all tattoos supposed to have meaning?" NO! I usually just say I like the artwork or design or something.

[hogg]

For the record, I think "plainskins" is hilarious. Sorry, @ShawnPorter. I actually misattributed it to you!

[TrixieFaux]

I heard the term "plainskins" in the 90's and it probably wasn't original then. My wife gave me Hell for using it, too. She was right. Tattoo or not tattoo are both valid choices.

It is meant very tongue-in-cheek when I say it. Dj & I referred to his parents that way and they knew we were joking around. It's funny 'coz usually the ones with the tattoos get all the flack. Hell I was born with very plain skin myself and I will always remember where I came from. :p

[blujax01]

It is meant very tongue-in-cheek when I say it. Dj & I referred to his parents that way and they knew we were joking around. It's funny 'coz usually the ones with the tattoos get all the flack. Hell I was born with very plain skin myself and I will always remember where I came from. :p

I think most of us use it the same way. My wife accused me of being a snob when I said it, so I don't say it anymore. Now mind you, I still think it...;)

[gougetheeyes]

Can't make this shit up. Two recent conversations from the bar.

Number One!

Me: What're you up to tonight?

Girl: Well I supposed to get tattooed but my tattoo artists rejected me!

Me: What?! What happened?

Girl: (Pulls out a piece of paper with a crazy long math/physics equation and begins to unfold to show me.) Well, I was supposed to get this on my finger, but--

Me: (Bursts out laughing) Yeah, that ain't going on your finger...

Girl: He laughed at me, too!

Me: Yeah. Sorry to laugh, it's just so long you won't be able to get it that small and still see what it is. What about on your arm, or wrapping around your wrist?

Girl: Yeah, that's what he suggested, too. Especially because it's my only tattoo or whatever. But I'm a programmer and I want to look at it while I'm working at the keyboard. He also suggested that I shouldn't get it in white.

Me: White.. ink?

Girl: Yeah. Because it's for me. And I don't want anyone else to just be able to see it like that.

Me: Sounds like maybe you should think about it some more..

After that initial talk we had a pretty cool conversation about the equation and the dual reality somethingorother it pertains to. She was a super smart person in that realm for sure. I left her with the suggestion of getting a cat in a box as a much cooler design (part of this theory about a cat being in a box with the lid closed and there being two realities..) but she was pretty set on the equation.

Number Two!

The set up here.. it was late, this chick was at the bar for a while so obviously a little drunk.

Girl: Hey, you get your tattoos here?

Me: Yeah, mostly, at this point kind of all over.

Girl: Where should I go?

Me: Hard to go wrong in this neighborhood, Three kings, Eight of Swords, Adorned, Saved...

Girl: Are they open?

Me: When...?

Girl: Now.

Me: It's almost two in the morning -- no shops are open right now.

Girl: Really? None??

Me: You could go into the city and check out West 4th St. but I really encourage you to not do that.

Girl: So.. there are no tattoo shops open in Brooklyn right now is what you're telling me.

Me: That's what I'm telling you.

Girl: (Takes her drinks that I made her and begins to walk away.) Fuck this borough.

And I thought that would be the end of it! She came back and wanted to talk some more.

Girl: So, it says XXSHOPXX is right off of XXSTREETXX -- is that close by?

Me: It's not far but I'm telling you it's not open. Why don't you just wait?

Girl: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. My friend over there is only in town tonight and we won't be in the same city again for like maybe a couple years.

Me: Well that might work better, you can both get great tattoos in your respective cities and they'll probably be way better than trying to get it in at like 2 AM. You could get something awesome!

Girl: Nope, you don't get what I'm saying.

Me: (Past the point of patience and I can't walk away because I'm making them another round of drinks.) It sounds like you probably shouldn't get tattooed. It sounds like a bad idea is what I think you're saying.

Girl: Well aren't they all?

Me: I'm sorry..?

Girl: All of this (pointing to my arms) -- you can't tell me any of this is actually a good idea.

Me: Did you really just say that?

Girl: Well, I mean, come on.. when you're 90. They're going to look like shit.

Me: No, they're going to look awesome and I'm going to be an awesome 90 yr old with tattoos that I didn't get at fucking two in the morning. This is going to be your last round, I'll have the server bring your check over and you can still make it over to West 4th, the cab ride shouldn't be much more than $20!

Girl: Whatever.

Me: Have a good night! Good luck!

Hope I'm not sounding like too much of an asshole.. My bar persona is always ten thousand times nicer than my real life demeanor but this second girl really pushed it. I'll put up with a lot of idiots and I know how to handle plenty of bullshit but when you outright insult me in my own bar..? You're done. I hope she went and got tattooed.. everyone gets the tattoo they deserve!

[SStu]

I am kind of offended by the comment because I would get a tattoo on a dare.

Please dare me. Please.

I dare you to dare me.

[hogg]

Fucking amazing stories, @gougetheeyes. I wanna hang out at your bar!

[Iwar]

@gougetheeyes PRECIOUS!! Thanks for sharing those man. I thought you handled them both very politely. I on the other hand just got torn a new asshole by a good friend for telling his new girlfriend exactly what I thought of her "tribal cat with tiny footprints" tattoo idea. I'm usually very polite and careful not to offend in situasions like that, but I was way too drunk to sugercoat it at the time it was brought it up.

[Brock Varty]

Please dare me. Please.

I dare you to dare me.

I dare you....to dare me to dare @Graeme to dare you.

[CultExciter]

My grandmother and I were chatting yesterday. She's 90 years old and is one of the most important people in the world to me. Well, we were talking about life, work, and how my apprenticeship is going. She looks at me and asks "Would you tattoo me? Right here, a big butterfly, and you can use this mole as the head of the butterfly."

I'm still grinning over that.

[Brock Varty]

My grandmother and I were chatting yesterday. She's 90 years old and is one of the most important people in the world to me. Well, we were talking about life, work, and how my apprenticeship is going. She looks at me and asks "Would you tattoo me? Right here, a big butterfly, and you can use this mole as the head of the butterfly."

I'm still grinning over that.

Your gamma is the bomb!

[cltattooing]

My grandmother and I were chatting yesterday. She's 90 years old and is one of the most important people in the world to me. Well, we were talking about life, work, and how my apprenticeship is going. She looks at me and asks "Would you tattoo me? Right here, a big butterfly, and you can use this mole as the head of the butterfly."

I'm still grinning over that.

Ahhh, that's amazing!!! I am so jealous!! You guys should totally do it, tattooing family is such a bonding thing. Your OG rocks :)

[iowagirl]

The dual reality thing w/the cat is Schrodinger's cat. Interesting theory, too.

Nobody really asks me crazy things. Mostly they ask how long it takes, like w/my feet since I'm in flip flops for summer and they're kinda hard to miss. "4 hours" "Wow, didn't it hurt?" "Feck yeah it hurt" "Well..so..why did you do it?" Or they ask if I cried. No.

[Graeme]

I dare you....to dare me to dare @Graeme to dare you.

Okay @SStu I bet you wouldn't get something from that Born Weird book. I DARE you to.

Did I do that right, guys?