alexwebster Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Tony Parsons on tattoos: They make my skin crawl - Tony Parsons - Mirror Online Making my skin crawl: Tattoos scream for attention You see them on firm young flesh and on wobbly, middle-aged flab, as common now on the school run and in the *supermarket queue AS soon as the sun starts shining, I realise with a sinking heart that Britain is now a tattooed nation. Tattoos are everywhere. You see them on firm young flesh and on wobbly, middle-aged flab, as common now on the school run and in the *supermarket queue as they are on some footballer or his wife. I feel like the last man left alive whose skin crawls at the sight of these crass daubings. I feel like the only person in the world who sees David Beckham modelling his *swimming pants on the cover of Elle magazine and thinks – oh, how much better a *handsome guy like you would look, David, without all those dumb ink stains stitched into your skin. I feel like nobody else looks at little Cheryl Cole – so pretty, so smiley – and recoils at the sight of the florist shop she has *permanently engraved on her lovely body. I wish it were just a celebrity fad. But when the Military Wives had the Christmas No 1 with their haunting *Wherever You Are, their soloist, Samantha Stevenson, had so many hearts and flowers tattooed across her chest that she resembled a box of Cadbury’s Roses. Why did it look so *inappropriate as she sang a song about heroic sacrifice? Because tattoos scream for attention. Tattoos say – look at me! I guess the person with the tattoo imagines that – somehow – having a martial arts symbol or a badly drawn flower or a sentimental heart expresses their individuality. The end result is a million simple souls all with exactly the same primitive daubings, all telling you what an individual they are. On Tuesday, a tattooed lady called Joanna Southgate – pretty, blonde, young – swerved past the dress code at Royal Ascot by waiting until she was inside before revealing that her arms are covered in what looks like a three-year-old’s finger paintings. Joanna looked so proud. But why? She has ravaged her natural good looks with what, at best, looks like cartoons done by someone who flunked their art GCSE. Tattoos were her choice. But tattoos are self-mutilation. Tattoos are a tragedy. Having tenth-rate art on your body for life is now part of the national fabric. Did I say that Britain is a tattooed nation? Strike that – Britain is the tattooed nation. I grew up with tattoos. My dad had a commando knife on one arm and my mum’s name in a heart on the other. He also had a few other tattoos that were impossible to decipher, they were so blurred with time, and no doubt the result of drunken shore leave in some dingy whore-infested port at the end of the world. Tattoos seemed natural when I was growing up. But they indicated a wild youth, or a life on the ocean waves. That is who had tattoos when I was growing up – my father and Popeye the *Sailorman. My mum would no more have got a tattoo than she would have run off with Engelbert *Humperdinck. But now everybody is at it. Even Samantha Cameron has a dolphin tattoo on one of her ankles. That’s how wild and crazy you have to be to get a tattoo – you married David Cameron. Tattoos are so *widespread, so ugly and so very, very *permanent. You can, in theory, have them removed – but a large chunk of your living flesh will go with it. The tattooed nation will live to regret this voluntary disfigurement. Already I sense that some of our celebs are covering up – you don’t see Cheryl Cole’s florist shop nearly as often as you used to. It used to be that you made a mark on your body because you couldn’t make a mark on the world. With adored *multi-millionaires like Beckham stoking the tattoo craze, that is clearly no longer the case. But some things never change. A tattoo doesn’t make you look like an individual. A tattoo makes you look a thicko. You’ll all look silly when you’re 60. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SStu Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 I had to google him to see who he is. Any reason I should be respecting just another writer/jornalist's opinions? slayer9019 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan S Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Hey! I'm just shy of 60, and I'd be happy to dot his eye if he wants to tell me to my face I look "silly" because of my work. Fkn Talking Head p.o.s. And that's the ONLY nice thing i can say about him. nicky papers, Snydcat and ian 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nicky papers Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 That was poorly written for a journalist... more like whining about daddy issues. Dan S, cfgsteak and Magister 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gregor Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Guys a bawbag, useless, the paper it was written in is a tabloid rag. ignore it. Dan S and nicky papers 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmkcle Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 What is the difference between a person with tattoos and a person without tattoos. The person with tattoos doesn't care if you don't have any. I think I heard that on here before I just thought it applied to this article. To each his own, he has to live with him self, and he will probably die bitter and alone. Having only his poorly written journalism left behind as his mark. Kind of feel sorry for someone so closed minded. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrixieFaux Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Poor guy, his skin is "crawling" a lot... maybe it's just the heroin withdrawal that's causing that. He's obsessed. He wakes up thinking about other people's tattoos "as soon as the sun starts shining"??! Wow. Needs therapy. slayer9019 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slayer9019 Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Psychological issues. I don't see how you can just flatout hate tattooed people or tattoos without something wrong with him. He probably really wanted one as a kid but never got it now it reminds him of how his childhood/early adulthood sucked so bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursula Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Who the fuck is Tony Parsons anyway? nmkcle, slayer9019 and JAllen 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JAllen Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 this is equal to thinking the end of the world has occurred because someone in a quiet suburb decided to paint their house purple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gregor Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Who the fuck is Tony Parsons anyway? A cock Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexwebster Posted July 1, 2012 Author Share Posted July 1, 2012 Who the fuck is Tony Parsons anyway? he was some toss pot writer who championed punk rock back in 1976 as soon as he got a cushy job he turned his back on the punk scene and declared it dead... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slayer9019 Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 he was some toss pot writer who championed punk rock back in 1976 as soon as he got a cushy job he turned his back on the punk scene and declared it dead... so this man was all about punk rock but hates tattoos? sense this does not make Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan S Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Just goes to show...never trust anyone with a nekkid face and no tattoos! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jade1955 Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Who the fuck is Tony Parsons anyway? A good reason for abortion or contraception. Tony Parsons makes me ashamed to be British or even a member of the same species for that matter. slayer9019 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reverend1 Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 He seems to think I give a shit about his crawling skin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunter Morrow Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 Good, a 59 year old guy complaining about something. Who cares? Sounds like a guy who'd shake his fists at a cloud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reverend1 Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 Get off my lawn! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Our Endless Days Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 what a schmuck. western tattoos began when royalty and travelers would go to exotic places, or bring back indigenous folks, and get tattooed by natives. so, essentially, traditional tattooing is rooted in the skin of royalty. suck that you british fuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan S Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 what a schmuck. western tattoos began when royalty and travelers would go to exotic places, or bring back indigenous folks, and get tattooed by natives. so, essentially, traditional tattooing is rooted in the skin of royalty. suck that you british fuck. Just to give credit where credit is due, even northern Euros and Celts and Picts were getting tattooed, llong before any voyages to exotic clime. Epridermal enhancement seems to be hardwired into those of us who are NORMAL. slayer9019 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Our Endless Days Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 Just to give credit where credit is due, even northern Euros and Celts and Picts were getting tattooed, llong before any voyages to exotic clime. Epridermal enhancement seems to be hardwired into those of us who are NORMAL. this is true. i was talking more about modern western tattooing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colored Guy Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 Anyone that is non-Italian and is named "Tony" is an obvious dyed in the wool poor imitation of a aborted fetus floating in a toilet in a 4th floor walkup tenement. CG Our Endless Days 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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