I've won the US Lottery

[jade1955]

My reply

Hi David

Sorry to be a nuisance.

Just one more thing before I retire to my bed.

Would it be possible to send the money via the Post Offices money transfer. I can do that online, it's a lot more secure and I can send the money straight to your bank account. It's cheaper too as there are no fees. Western Union want to charge me £12.90.

All this FBI stuff got me thinking about the great old time I had with Grandaddy Brady (the one who was in the Black and Tans). Every Sunday I used to go round his house. He would reminisce about the good old days. He loved brass bands and was particularly thrilled when I took up an instrument. We would spend many a joyful Sunday afternoon, in the bedroom, tromboning and if I had done really well Grandmammy Brady would give me a blimpey. You must try one, David, if you're ever in Coleraine, its a local speciality.

Anyway sorry for being a silly old chatterbox.

Warm regards

Mike

[Patriot Ink Tattoo]

holy shit. You actually sent that?

and what would a emailed copy hurt? Why wait for the payment?....wtf

[jade1955]

holy shit. You actually sent that?

and what would a emailed copy hurt? Why wait for the payment?....wtf

Oh yes.

I'm going to press him to send me something before I send the payment (and accidentally loose the receipt, of course). I've already worked out the story for that. This will give me the opportunity introduce my brother Greg Brady, just to add to the confusion.

Do you get the connection Mike Brady/Greg Brady?

[Duffa]

Lmao. At some point maybe this story line needs some romance? David seems like quite a sweet guy and look at how much he's trying to help you. You really should maybe let him know that feelings may be starting to grow ;)

either way

[jade1955]

Lmao. At some point maybe this story line needs some romance? David seems like quite a sweet guy and look at how much he's trying to help you. You really should maybe let him know that feelings may be starting to grow ;)

Well he hasn't got very much to say for himself.

Mind you I like the strong silent type.

Perhaps I'll ask him if he's into brass bands. :)

[Duffa]

@jade1955 - well, we all know how much you like your tromboning haha! This thread has made my Friday, thank you my good man!!!!!!

[jade1955]

@Duffa You're welcome. Ha ha

[jade1955]

He got back to me this morning. A man of very few words.

Mike,

It can only be released to me when i pay the fund to the department.Today is Friday, you have just today to send the fund so as to get your check to you asap.

I've sent this back

Hi David

I am a bit confused. I thought you said I had won this money but you are now saying I have to send the fee by today.

Why is this. You didn't mention this in your original email?

I take it I can send the money to your bank account via the post office transfer like I suggested in my email.

What will happen if I can't get the money to you today?

It's just that I'm not very mobile at the moment and have difficulty getting around. I only came out of hospital last tuesday and I am still recovering after having a strapadictome.

Kindest regards

Mike

[irezumi]

strapadictome.

LOLLL

[Ursula]

Strapadictome.

Tromboning.

Grandpappy Brady.

Brilliant.

[Ursula]

Also, there is an episode of This American Life which follows the journey of three American friends who totally fuck over a scammer like this. It's pretty crazy the things the scammer does to try and get this money. I'm gonna look it up and link the mp3 'cause it's truly amazing and hilarious.

ok here's the link, the episode is called "Enforcers" Enforcers | This American Life

[Gregor]

Theres a great site here Welcome to 419Eater

[jade1955]

And the latest

Hi David

As I haven't heard back from you I take it that it will be ok to send the fee via Moneygram as per the original email.

I have to leave my house now as the local office closes at four o'clock on a Friday.

That'll give me just enough time to draw the cash from the bank and do the transfer before it closes.

Speak to you later. I have to go now.

Kindest regards

Mike

Reply

Mike,

You can send money.

David

From me 20 minutes ago

hello Davud

What a day I've had. I only just gpt back from the pub. Great craic with my brother Greg celebratinh my lottery win.

Guess what.In the post office I bumped into Sister Contra Seption & Sisper Chlamydia. They were buying some bat plugs or something. Thats one great feckin post office. They sell all sorts of stuff.

Anyways I pledged a £20,000 Donation of my winninings to the local convent. I'ts the least I could do as they nursed my Daddy during his final weeks.

Have you received the money David?

When will I get my cheque?

Best

Mike

[jade1955]

Theres a great site here Welcome to 419Eater

They've got some great stuff on that site.

419 is a reference to article 419 of the Nigerian Criminal Code.

I don't think my scammer is Nigerian, though. Nigerian scammers tend to be warm and friendly at first (all phoney of course).

This arsehole makes a minimal effort and as a result probably gets little success.

The scammers email address is [email protected]. So the person is probobly Eastern European.

bigmir.net is a Ukrainian web portal.

[Duffa]

Hey @jade1955 when you have a Strapadictome, they don't have to go through the rectum to perform the procedure do they? This is an excellent saga to say the least. David does seem to be getting quite short now with his responses though... maybe he needs some wooing? Grab him a present from the best feckin post office around and send it to him... 'bat plugs' perhaps? ;)

[jade1955]

Hey @jade1955 when you have a Strapadictome, they don't have to go through the rectum to perform the procedure do they?

It sure was, I had to pay extra for that. :)

[jade1955]

[jade1955]

He's still onboard

He got back to me asking for a copy of the Moneygram order. He asked me to send the money via Western Union but I pointed out the original email said Western Union or Moneygram. I opted for Moneygram over Western Union as Western Union MTCN references can be tracked online, Moneygram has no such facility. So he can't check online to see if I'm fucking with him. The only way to find out is by him getting off his arse at visiting a Moneygram Agent in person.

Anyway here is my latest email. This is where I introduce another member of the Brady Bunch, my brother Greg.

Hi David

One little thing. I hope you don't mind but I had to change the question and answer.

You see in your email you said I should use TRUST as the question and GOD as the answer,

I'm am a committed Christian, David, and to use the Good Lords name on a money order form would be wrong.

I was speaking to Father Phil McAvity and Father Roger Boyes in the pub last night and they both agree.

As the 2nd Commandment says Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain.

I left the copy of the Moneygram receipt with my brother, Greg Brady, for safe keeping.

I'll get him to send you a copy,

Warm regards

Mike

[jade1955]

Here's the photo of the Moneygram receipt he is going to receive from my brother Greg.

With strategically placed fingers hiding the important info (reference number & security question & answer).

[jade1955]

I've just sent this. Enter Greggy Boi and cc'd to David (Elliot Ness) Oliver.

---------- Forwarded message ----------

From: Michael Brady <[email protected]>

Date: 20 May 2012 09:14

Subject: Fwd: $800,000.00 Lottery Win

To: [email protected]

Cc: Agent David Oliver <[email protected]>

Hi Greggy Boi

You know that Moneygram receipt I gave you on Friday night to look after. Can you send a copy to that FBI bloke, David Oliver.

His email is [email protected]

Hey fancy bumping into Sister Chlamydia, on Friday. What a piece of luck. I forgot to mention. You know those delicious cheese flapjacks she makes well she gave me some the other week.

It dosn't get any better than lying on the bed eating Sister Chlamdias cheesy flaps, on a Saturday morning, after a night out on the lash.

Love

Mikey

[jade1955]

Some more stuff

Here is some two and froing between myself and brother Gregg. With Agent David being cc'd in, of course.

Hi Mikey Boi

What the fuck you talking about?

I don't remember anything about you giving me a Moneygram receipt.

Love Greggy

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi Greggy Boi

Please tell me this is one of your jokes.

Love

Mikey

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi Mikey Boi

Had you going there for a bit you dozy cunt. Ha ha

I'll have look for it.

LMFAO

Greggy

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi Greggy Boi

Very funny.

Love

Mikey

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour later

Hi Mikey Boi

You wouldn't believe the shit morning I've had.

I can't find the receipt. I've looked everwhere for the fucking thing. I'm really not joking this time.

I thought I might have left it at our sisters house, Marcia.

Anyway to cut a long story short while I was driving over to her house I went into the back of some fuckers car.

I probobly wasn't concentrating when I got to the traffic lights and the next thing - bang.

The strange thing is that I couldn't see anyone in the drivers seat in the other car.

Anyway the door of the car, that I hit, flew open and this dwarf (yes thats right a fucking dwarf) got out and came storming over to my car.

He wasn't fucking happy, I can tell you.

What shall I do about the receipt.

Love

Greggy

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi Greggy Boi

Never mind the receipt are you ok?

I just remembered you took a photo of the Moneygram reciept on your phone, Friday night.

Can you send that to David, instead.

While it's fresh in my mind are you still interested in joining the Muff Divers Club, over in Muff, County Donagal

You know both Sister Chlamydia & Sister Contra Seption are Muff Divers, don't you? They absolutely love it.

Here's a link

Muff Diving Donegal Ireland Scuba Diving Ireland

Love

Mikey

[Tight-Lines]

This thread gets a +1.

[Patriot Ink Tattoo]

*Best Thread EVER! I hope this never ends:)

[Barbie Doll]

I sent this a couple of minutes ago.

My old Grandaddy worked for the Black and Tans, in the Public Relations Dept.

My favourite film of all time is about the FBI. It's called Brokeback Mountain, have you seen it?

Mike[/i]

Throwing in Brokeback Mountain was my personal favorite

[Duffa]

While it's fresh in my mind are you still interested in joining the Muff Divers Club, over in Muff, County Donagal

You know both Sister Chlamydia & Sister Contra Seption are Muff Divers, don't you? They absolutely love it.

Here's a link

Muff Diving Donegal Ireland Scuba Diving Ireland[/i]

I lost my shit last night when I read this, and it just had the same effect. Best. Thread. Ever.