Tattoo newbie here, already so upset with myself

[anonymous_monkey]

I keep reading about people's anxiety after getting a new tattoo, but I really dont think I have the kind of personality who can learn to love something when it’s so different from what I wanted. I can live with size not being perfect. But I dont think I can for the actual design. It's killing me. I thought I would be excited to show my friends straight away, I can't. I cant own it.

I honestly didnt even anticipate this - I always thought I would be happy with what I got, and maybe regret it later (but that feeling would be easier to handle, knowing I got what I wanted at the time, and not want it gone). Not the other way around. But I felt pushed to go with something I don't even like. Going into it I thought i was prepared to be assertive and ask for changes, but in the moment I felt like I should trust her because she's the artist. But it’s my F***ing body, why couldn’t I? She had my deposit, that's what it's for if I didnt like it.

This artist specializes in anime tattoos, I thought she could do something in anime style, not just directly rip a reference I didnt even send. I asked for Link with Navi (from Zelda). I sent all from Twilight Princess (official art + manga) but she got a dif pic completely and then just copied it. Why not copy one of the faces in my inspo if you’re going to copy something?? ALL my refs had an angsty expression, and she gave him a cutesty smile. She also put him in a heart, which doesnt feel like me at all.

My least favourite bit is that little detail in the bottom. It ruins it for me, like it doesnt need to be there? I know it’s his shoulder, but why? Why not make the heart smaller and just not have that? Feels unnecessary and I wanted something simple.

The reason I asked small (5-6cm) was for simplicity. I thought that was leaving room to simplify him, Ive seen so many characters as tattoos that are done in the artist's style to fit a tattoo. Instead she did an exact copy of something existing, but cropped to fit the size being all that fits. Instead of simplifying the lines to make it smaller. In the moment she made me feel like that wasn't possible...

I'd also sent her another Zelda tattoo I liked the style of. My notes said I loved that style, esp the eyes. But now that sounds vague? Cause I loved the face shape/size too (the face was def smaller on this person's arm and fit a LOT more of the character) is what I was trying to say. I feel stupid for not knowing what parts I needed to stress were important to me. I also thought that tattoo ref good example of how it’s not directly copying Zelda literally, it’s the artist’s own design BASED off Twilight Princess. But she seemed to completely ignore that I said I liked that style.

So many things I didnt know to stress cause it was my first tattoo. But why couldn’t I pull up my refs after seeing her design on the day, to make sure we were really going back to what I asked?? I felt pushed to go with this as the best option, rather than redrawing. But looking at other tattoos I liked now, it’s upsetting me. Thinking I should just go with what she thought was not a good way to make such a permanent decision 😭

I did straight up ask if it could be without the heart. She said he had to be contained in something due to the size I wanted. But why couldnt i ask for a rectangle, or arch? That much was in my head in the moment. Surely something else would work to contain it that wasnt a heart… After that I got too afraid to ask for more changes, the way she justified it felt like she would have reasons for every other decision. I felt she was the expert and should trust her.

I'm already booking in a couple of places to ask about coverups, for peace of mind what can be done. Possibly even get a laser consult to ask when that could start after healing. It's stressing me out too much. I hate looking at him, he looks too cutesy/smiley peeking out like that.

I’m upset I couldnt express thats what I wanted or let myself think more before saying yes. There are SO many tattoos out there with smaller faces/less detailed lines, and they dont look like they have to be so big they need to be cut off? I dont know if you can tell from the pic, but his face is really wide and takes up a lot of space. 

I guess I'm wondering how big and dark might this have to go for a cover up? Or is laser the only option? It already takes up quite a big part of my arm for I had in mind for any of my tattoos 😞 The angel cat references I've attached is what I'm wondering if it can be covered up with (it was something else I wanted to get tattooed, although I did want it just outlined and simple/smaller and with a different placement. But I am open to having a shaded cat there if it works 😭

😞

Sorry for such a huge vent. I just don't know where else to talk about this, I'm too afraid to admit to my friends I fucked up. It's not even like me at all, I'm usually so careful about these things. But I was so excited to be getting my first tattoo, I wanted to go ahead with it. I don't know why I felt like I couldnt just get another option drawn somewhere else.

[Hogrider]

First, sorry it didn’t work out as planned. Second, don’t do anything until you’ve lived with it for a while. I’ve seen plenty of cover ups that wound up worse because people were in such a hurry to “fix” them. At the very least you need it to let it completely heal before you start to monkey with it. Patience is your friend.

Plenty of people have come to love a tattoo that they initially didn’t like.

 

Edited January 7, 2023 by Hogrider

[anonymous_monkey]

I definitely won't be doing anything quickly, just chat to a couple of places to get an idea and let myself go away and think about it. If the cover up would have to go too big, I'm honestly considering laser.

I just really don't think I'm the kind of person who can learn to love this. It needed to be what I wanted before it went on. I feel like I went to the wrong artist.

Edited January 7, 2023 by anonymous_monkey

[Hogrider]

28 minutes ago, anonymous_monkey said:

I definitely won't be doing anything quickly, just chat to a couple of places to get an idea and let myself go away and think about it. If the cover up would have to go too big, I'm honestly considering laser.

I just really don't think I'm the kind of person who can learn to love this. It needed to be what I wanted before it went on. I feel like I went to the wrong artist.

I hope you have the patience to wait. I’ve seen people swept up in the moment by enthusiastic tattoo artists. Also, be sure you are realistic about laser expectations. It can lighten a tattoo, but I’ve never seen one actually removed. Your tattoo creates scar tissue, laser creates more scar tissue. I’m not saying don’t do it, but if you think it’s going to disappear, you’ll be really disappointed.

You have a nice tattoo. Better to have a nice tattoo that you don’t like than a sh!tty tattoo you hate and be looking for coverup #2. Remember, each time you go in for laser  or coverup you’re creating more scar tissue, making the next time harder.

Edited January 7, 2023 by Hogrider

[anonymous_monkey]

5 hours ago, Hogrider said:

I hope you have the patience to wait. I’ve seen people swept up in the moment by enthusiastic tattoo artists. Also, be sure you are realistic about laser expectations. It can lighten a tattoo, but I’ve never seen one actually removed. Your tattoo creates scar tissue, laser creates more scar tissue. I’m not saying don’t do it, but if you think it’s going to disappear, you’ll be really disappointed.

You have a nice tattoo. Better to have a nice tattoo that you don’t like than a sh!tty tattoo you hate and be looking for coverup #2. Remember, each time you go in for laser  or coverup you’re creating more scar tissue, making the next time harder.

I do still want a tattoo in that spot! When I'm talking about laser route, I wouldn't be looking for it to be completely gone anyway. Just if covering it up has to be too much bigger, I feel like I would have to consider laser...

This hasn't scared me off tattoos, I still want a couple more. Just upset with myself that I couldnt be assertive about what I wanted.

Getting swept up in the moment is what already happened, it's a really shit way to learn not to do that. But that's something that definitely wont happen again.

Edited January 8, 2023 by anonymous_monkey
spelling/grammar

[Blue Tattoo]

On 1/7/2023 at 6:16 AM, anonymous_monkey said:

I keep reading about people's anxiety after getting a new tattoo, but I really dont think I have the kind of personality who can learn to love something when it’s so different from what I wanted. I can live with size not being perfect. But I dont think I can for the actual design. It's killing me. I thought I would be excited to show my friends straight away, I can't. I cant own it.

I honestly didnt even anticipate this - I always thought I would be happy with what I got, and maybe regret it later (but that feeling would be easier to handle, knowing I got what I wanted at the time, and not want it gone). Not the other way around. But I felt pushed to go with something I don't even like. Going into it I thought i was prepared to be assertive and ask for changes, but in the moment I felt like I should trust her because she's the artist. But it’s my F***ing body, why couldn’t I? She had my deposit, that's what it's for if I didnt like it.

This artist specializes in anime tattoos, I thought she could do something in anime style, not just directly rip a reference I didnt even send. I asked for Link with Navi (from Zelda). I sent all from Twilight Princess (official art + manga) but she got a dif pic completely and then just copied it. Why not copy one of the faces in my inspo if you’re going to copy something?? ALL my refs had an angsty expression, and she gave him a cutesty smile. She also put him in a heart, which doesnt feel like me at all.

My least favourite bit is that little detail in the bottom. It ruins it for me, like it doesnt need to be there? I know it’s his shoulder, but why? Why not make the heart smaller and just not have that? Feels unnecessary and I wanted something simple.

The reason I asked small (5-6cm) was for simplicity. I thought that was leaving room to simplify him, Ive seen so many characters as tattoos that are done in the artist's style to fit a tattoo. Instead she did an exact copy of something existing, but cropped to fit the size being all that fits. Instead of simplifying the lines to make it smaller. In the moment she made me feel like that wasn't possible...

I'd also sent her another Zelda tattoo I liked the style of. My notes said I loved that style, esp the eyes. But now that sounds vague? Cause I loved the face shape/size too (the face was def smaller on this person's arm and fit a LOT more of the character) is what I was trying to say. I feel stupid for not knowing what parts I needed to stress were important to me. I also thought that tattoo ref good example of how it’s not directly copying Zelda literally, it’s the artist’s own design BASED off Twilight Princess. But she seemed to completely ignore that I said I liked that style.

So many things I didnt know to stress cause it was my first tattoo. But why couldn’t I pull up my refs after seeing her design on the day, to make sure we were really going back to what I asked?? I felt pushed to go with this as the best option, rather than redrawing. But looking at other tattoos I liked now, it’s upsetting me. Thinking I should just go with what she thought was not a good way to make such a permanent decision 😭

I did straight up ask if it could be without the heart. She said he had to be contained in something due to the size I wanted. But why couldnt i ask for a rectangle, or arch? That much was in my head in the moment. Surely something else would work to contain it that wasnt a heart… After that I got too afraid to ask for more changes, the way she justified it felt like she would have reasons for every other decision. I felt she was the expert and should trust her.

I'm already booking in a couple of places to ask about coverups, for peace of mind what can be done. Possibly even get a laser consult to ask when that could start after healing. It's stressing me out too much. I hate looking at him, he looks too cutesy/smiley peeking out like that.

I’m upset I couldnt express thats what I wanted or let myself think more before saying yes. There are SO many tattoos out there with smaller faces/less detailed lines, and they dont look like they have to be so big they need to be cut off? I dont know if you can tell from the pic, but his face is really wide and takes up a lot of space. 

I guess I'm wondering how big and dark might this have to go for a cover up? Or is laser the only option? It already takes up quite a big part of my arm for I had in mind for any of my tattoos 😞 The angel cat references I've attached is what I'm wondering if it can be covered up with (it was something else I wanted to get tattooed, although I did want it just outlined and simple/smaller and with a different placement. But I am open to having a shaded cat there if it works 😭

😞

Sorry for such a huge vent. I just don't know where else to talk about this, I'm too afraid to admit to my friends I fucked up. It's not even like me at all, I'm usually so careful about these things. But I was so excited to be getting my first tattoo, I wanted to go ahead with it. I don't know why I felt like I couldnt just get another option drawn somewhere else.

 

Your tattoo has really nice line work. Sorry it's not what you envisioned, but no one will look at that with the same critical eye as you.  Remember your friends have no expectations about your ink.   They'll see what we see, a clean nice tattoo.   Live with it for a while at least through the entire healing process then see how you feel.

When I got my first tattoo I was disappointed because of lines that weren't as clean as I had originally imagined.  The first thing I thought was laser to correct it. But after advice from this site and looking at loads of other tattoos, I considered the big picture. Like you I'm getting more.  So in the end it's just one part of my tattoo experience. And, I love it now, and it's imperfections.

 

 

Edited January 8, 2023 by Blue Tattoo

[anonymous_monkey]

Thanks for your nice words. I know my friends won't see it that way, but if they are enthusiastic about it I just can't fake it. And I dont want to admit it's not what I wanted. I  just can't get past why she would pick something else to copy, why not copy one of my refs if she's going to do that? They were all from the manga,  it's not like the scale was different. It's so weird

[oboogie]

I think you should just get more tattoos and not worry about it. Do you know how much laser treatment costs? Do you know that it hurts far more than getting a tattoo? You are assigning way too much meaning to it. Just live with it and find a new tattoo artist for your next one.

[anonymous_monkey]

I'm not stupid. I know it's an expensive mistake. I never imagined I would want to laser my tattoos once I decided I wanted some. It's an extreme resort to feel like this. I'm too upset about it not being what I wanted. 

I got a mole laser removed on my face and it was horrible, so I feel like I know what I'm in for.... 

Edited January 10, 2023 by anonymous_monkey
spelling

[oboogie]

No one said you were stupid? 🤣

[mhm2020]

Honestly you have a really nice tattoo!! Objectively its pretty great. Especially for your first one, my first tattoo was nowhere near that good. I know it’s not exactly what you envisioned but that’s kind of part of being tattooed. There is no such thing as a “perfect” tattoo. It’s a living work of art and you have to manage your expectations. 
 

I don’t mean to sound condescending, but I do think that first-timers tend to be overly picky about details. In explaining so many details, it can be confusing to an artist, as they don’t know what is the most important from the 10+ notes and references you gave. Part of that comes down to communication which sounds like was lacking a bit. 

For future tattoos I would keep it as simple as possible. Set yourself up for success and pick an artist that you love literally every tattoo they do. Then pick 1-2 reference photos and say what exactly you like about each one. The face expression, the background etc. Pick 1-2 details that are the most important to you. And then let your artist do their job. the more you try to control the outcome, the more disappointed you will be. 

But if you hate it you hate it, and that’s okay too. Just please give it a year. If you still hate it, then laser is an option and you can have it lightened and covered up.
 

Best of luck to you!!  

Edited January 11, 2023 by mhm2020

[anonymous_monkey]

On 1/11/2023 at 5:20 PM, mhm2020 said:

I don’t mean to sound condescending, but I do think that first-timers tend to be overly picky about details. In explaining so many details, it can be confusing to an artist, as they don’t know what is the most important from the 10+ notes and references you gave. Part of that comes down to communication which sounds like was lacking a bit. 

Those notes I'm explaining in the first post is what's wrong with it after the fact...

I DID give only one example of the style I wanted/liked (this) and like I said, she completely ignored that.

THESE were the references of the character I gave, saying I liked how he looked in these. Instead, she went and picked a different picture altogether.

So that advice is unhelpful because that's what I literally DID. I didnt want to send too many references (because LIKE I SAID) I wanted to let her come up with something. Instead she just ripped something already existing and wasnt even what I sent and cropped it.

I actually feel like the takeaway from this is that I SHOULD be more annoyingly specific (or not be afraid to ask for changes/walk out)

These I only linked in this post because they are examples of how characters CAN go smaller/less detailed and it's upsetting me.

I appreciate the nice words, but I felt like I did i expect that it wouldnt be perfect, that's why I was prepared to trust her. But it's just too many things gone wrong

Edited January 12, 2023 by anonymous_monkey
spelling

[anonymous_monkey]

On 1/11/2023 at 2:59 AM, oboogie said:

No one said you were stupid? 🤣

Then why be condescending about laser when that was not at all what I was asking in the post. 

[GarethJ98]

Sorry your tattoo didn't go as planned. I like it though lol

[Hogrider]

6 hours ago, anonymous_monkey said:

Then why be condescending about laser when that was not at all what I was asking in the post. 

Welcome to the internet - you don’t always get the response you want. Being snippy with the long timers is not a good way to get advice.

[oboogie]

2 hours ago, Hogrider said:

Welcome to the internet - you don’t always get the response you want. Being snippy with the long timers is not a good way to get advice.

This. Good luck. Bye now.

[Lazarvs]

Just wanna say, don't cover up anytime soon if you intend to. I waited 4 months to coverup and shits still got hella scabby and it's healinf pretty shitty on top of the previous tattoo. If i knew now, I'd wait a year. 

[mhm2020]

On 1/11/2023 at 5:06 PM, anonymous_monkey said:

I actually feel like the takeaway from this is that I SHOULD be more annoyingly specific (or not be afraid to ask for changes/walk out)

This is the crux of your issue- you needed to be 100% on board with the drawing before the stencil even goes on your skin. And absolutely don’t be afraid to speak your mind- this is going on you for life and you have complete agency over your body!

With that said I will call you out on something and dispense some tough love. It really doesn’t matter what all the artist did wrong, because at the end of the day, you did approve the drawing and let the artist tattoo you. That one is on you my friend. I am truly sorry it isn’t what you wanted, we have all been there, but it is your responsibility to speak up for yourself when you noticed you had issues with this many things. 

[anonymous_monkey]

AND I SAID THAT IN MY FIRST POST. You can validate that part without telling me like I'm stupid. I know it's my F***ing body, I already said that.

I just thought if I said I didn't like something, she would make suggestions as she's the artist. Even though now I can think of SO many other ways he could have been contained in something (like a triangle because it suits the game, or a music staff with the ocarina notes, or a ribbon. There are so many F***ing ways). I wish I could have gone away and thought about it. 

Instead I felt a bit pushed to go with it. I really wish I said I more, but I didn't anticipate feeling pushed in the moment. Like I was clearly unhappy anything I didn't like something, and instead of offering to change it, just pushed me to go with it. Do they ever say "happy to make adjustments" or just be pushy like that? I wish I was more prepared to just walk out.

I'm not saying it's her fault that I agreed, but I just still feel like I went to the wrong artist because she didnt get creative with it. Just copied something existing that I didnt ask for. And she didnt make it her own. I didnt even realise she just straight copied something until later. My references were the exact same scale, why not copy something I actually sent? Not saying it's her fault if that's her style, I just went in with so much trust that she would come up with something. In the moment she made me feel like her way was the only way, but seeing other tattoos that more like what I wanted makes me upset seeing it IS possible.

I just wanted to let her come up with something cause I thought she would do a better job than me. I won't ever do that again, I need to make sure I know exactly what I want/draw it myself first and ask what's possible, ask around, instead of going in so blind.

On 1/15/2023 at 11:38 AM, Lazarvs said:

Just wanna say, don't cover up anytime soon if you intend to. I waited 4 months to coverup and shits still got hella scabby and it's healinf pretty shitty on top of the previous tattoo. If i knew now, I'd wait a year. 

Thanks for the heads up. I actually went for a consult for peace of mind for what could be done, it would have to be way too big/dark (2-3x the size) and they said it couldn't really be anything other than flowers. So I'm just going to get laser to lighten it and get something else there down the line, leave that arm for a while.

And then try my zelda idea again on my other arm. But go for consults first to be able to chat with the artist, because it's such a custom idea. Instead of going in blind.

Edited January 16, 2023 by anonymous_monkey

[mhm2020]

16 hours ago, anonymous_monkey said:

 

AND I SAID THAT IN MY FIRST POST. You can validate that part without telling me like I'm stupid. I know it's my F***ing body, I already said that.

This is a bit harsh. Not sure if this was directed at me; nobody said you were stupid. I’m not sure why you’re taking my feedback as an attack? 

We can play the blame game all day, but my point was that if you feel uncomfortable at any point, it’s up to you to speak up or even walk out if you need to. It sucks when you have to get to that point, and artists shouldn’t ever put clients in a position where they have to do that. but there are some shitty people out there. If you did everything in your power to say “no, I don’t like this” and they still didn’t listen to you, that was your cue to leave.

[anonymous_monkey]

 

8 hours ago, mhm2020 said:

If you did everything in your power to say “no, I don’t like this” and they still didn’t listen to you, that was your cue to leave.

Seriously stop saying that! you’re just saying things I already said. That’s not what I asked about.  I'm not saying it's an attack, but I am saying it's extremely insensitive and unhelpful. 

What I'm saying is there's no need to keep hammering this part home, when I also had actual questions in the post. I was never asking what I “should” have done, I clearly KNOW what I should have done, because I SAID it. But it wasn’t as simple as that in the moment. I explained how it happened and how I didnt think to leave, because I wanted to trust her. If you can't understand how that happened in the moment, please just leave me alone. Because it happened. All of this I know for next time, but I was never asking you what to do for next time, I already know all that, I said it straight up in the post.

I posted wondering if anyone else has ever felt pushed like that, or wasnt able to be assertive, or you don't think it's weird an artist would just straight copy something I didn't even ask for, but clearly you are all fine. Good for you if you’re all the kind of people who were more prepared to walk away your first time, I don’t know how I F***ing wasn’t able to, and can’t stop beating myself up about such an expensive (and soon painful) mistake and needed to vent about it. And now I just want this post F***ing deleted but they wont let me, because you’re not getting the point and making me feel worse. 

Edited January 17, 2023 by anonymous_monkey

[Hogrider]

4 hours ago, anonymous_monkey said:

 

Seriously stop saying that! you’re just saying things I already said. That’s not what I asked about.  I'm not saying it's an attack, but I am saying it's extremely insensitive and unhelpful. 

What I'm saying is there's no need to keep hammering this part home, when I also had actual questions in the post. I was never asking what I “should” have done, I clearly KNOW what I should have done, because I SAID it. But it wasn’t as simple as that in the moment. I explained how it happened and how I didnt think to leave, because I wanted to trust her. If you can't understand how that happened in the moment, please just leave me alone. Because it happened. All of this I know for next time, but I was never asking you what to do for next time, I already know all that, I said it straight up in the post.

I posted wondering if anyone else has ever felt pushed like that, or wasnt able to be assertive, or you don't think it's weird an artist would just straight copy something I didn't even ask for, but clearly you are all fine. Good for you if you’re all the kind of people who were more prepared to walk away your first time, I don’t know how I F***ing wasn’t able to, and can’t stop beating myself up about such an expensive (and soon painful) mistake and needed to vent about it. And now I just want this post F***ing deleted but they wont let me, because you’re not getting the point and making me feel worse. 

Nobody is saying you're stupid and nobody is happy that you're not happy. Take a deep breath and calm down. We're offering advice so it doesn't happen again. Very few people are happy with every single tattoo they have. As the saying goes, "sh!t happens." If someone is offering advice you don't want, just ignore it.

And please stop beating yourself up. The only thing you are guilty of is being human.

[mhm2020]

5 hours ago, anonymous_monkey said:

 

Seriously stop saying that! you’re just saying things I already said. That’s not what I asked about.  I'm not saying it's an attack, but I am saying it's extremely insensitive and unhelpful. 

What I'm saying is there's no need to keep hammering this part home, when I also had actual questions in the post. I was never asking what I “should” have done, I clearly KNOW what I should have done, because I SAID it. But it wasn’t as simple as that in the moment. I explained how it happened and how I didnt think to leave, because I wanted to trust her. If you can't understand how that happened in the moment, please just leave me alone. Because it happened. All of this I know for next time, but I was never asking you what to do for next time, I already know all that, I said it straight up in the post.

I posted wondering if anyone else has ever felt pushed like that, or wasnt able to be assertive, or you don't think it's weird an artist would just straight copy something I didn't even ask for, but clearly you are all fine. Good for you if you’re all the kind of people who were more prepared to walk away your first time, I don’t know how I F***ing wasn’t able to, and can’t stop beating myself up about such an expensive (and soon painful) mistake and needed to vent about it. And now I just want this post F***ing deleted but they wont let me, because you’re not getting the point and making me feel worse. 

Well, to answer your question directly, yes I’ve gone through a similar experience and almost got up and left, but didn’t. I can relate to your story more than you realize! That’s why I gave you the advice that I did. Because in the end, it didn’t matter how my artist screwed me over (because yes, they did). People on here were harsh with me and I got defensive because I thought I was right about everything. You can look up my first post if you really want to see it. But I had to take responsibility for myself and own when I misjudged a situation and chose the wrong artist. The artist was shitty to me, yes, and that really sucks. It was dehumanizing and made me feel powerless.  But, I learned that I had to stand up for my needs. When you’re working with the right artist, you don’t have to nitpick them or fight for yourself. That was my point. But I can see that’s lost on you, because it seems like you want to play the victim. I have compassion, but I’m not down to participate in a pity party. I am sorry that what I have said is triggering to you, but it’s not my problem or my fault that you feel bad about yourself.

Edited January 17, 2023 by mhm2020

[anonymous_monkey]

How do you not see that explaining it like that is actually what would have been helpful in the first place? Even just saying how you did go through that and your feelings. It's called validation, as soon as you feel like your feelings are acknowledged about a situation, it can help you calm down. idk if that makes it worse, since you know what it feels like and decided to take another route?

This isnt about playing the victim, it's just there are SO many ways to help someone feel better about something like this. 

I DID take responsibility in my first post, like I keep repeating. I listed EVERYTHING I should have done, saying i KNOW that. How is that not taking responsibility? I was never ignoring where I went wrong. Saying what I didn;t like doesnt mean I'm blaming the artist either, it just means I'm pointing out what I dont like and how wrong everything went.

20 hours ago, mhm2020 said:

When you’re working with the right artist, you don’t have to nitpick them or fight for yourself. That was my point. 

Okay, and that's it's a good way to say it. So why not say it like that in the first place, say it nicely to someone? Just validate that yeah, there are artists out there who wont make me feel that way? You did not say that at all, instead you framed it like I'm stupid for not realising this could happen. That point didnt come out when you're too busy making me feel like an idiot for not being able to be assertive in that moment. Assuring me that there are artists out there who would be able to actually manipulate elements and come up with something is much more helpful and comforting. In that moment with this artist, I was made to feel like that wasn't possible.

it's not about coddling or not being a victim. Thinikng someone shouldnt be a "victim" isnt an excuse to make them feel stupid.

Edited January 18, 2023 by anonymous_monkey

[Maynard]

That’s a really nice tattoo OP